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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My baby would have been much easier if....

60 replies

BotBotticelli · 09/08/2013 20:02

...he had been one of those babies that just drifts off to sleep in their mum's arms whilst she chats away in a coffee shop, or taps away on MN. I have seen such babies! They exist!

My DS, as a newborn, would scream his head off when tired, even if not overtired, and it would be a 15 minute battle to vigorously rock him to sleep whilst replacing his dummy and shhhhhing like a maniac. He has never once drifted off into a contented sleep in my arms! Even now, at 8mo, he self settles in his cot by spending 10 minutes babbling, shouting, crawling around, rawling about etc etc. Sleep just doesn't come easy to him!

What would be the one thing that would have made your LO 'easier' in the beginning....?

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purrpurr · 09/08/2013 20:03

If she'd popped out with an instruction manual.

superbabysmummy · 09/08/2013 20:45

Good question! If been able to latch on! Still get shivers now thinking about it, brrr!

mawbroon · 09/08/2013 21:35

I had known then what I know now about tongue tie.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 09/08/2013 21:40

Totally the opposite to yours

I would love a baby who self settled in ten minutes and didn't need to be in my arms to go to sleep.

Thurlow · 09/08/2013 21:49

If she'd wanted to be near me in any way! I still vividly remember being at an NHS baby class at about 10w old and everyone else was happily snuggling their baby while mine was on the floor three feet away. I used to have to put her on the floor under tables in coffee shops. It was quite nice to be able to eat and drink in peace, but I just looked very, very odd. Friends used to think I was quite odd too - until they tried to hold her for more than 10 minutes

cupcake78 · 09/08/2013 21:52

He just slept! Still wakes up 3 nights a week at nearly 6.

BigW · 09/08/2013 21:57

If he'd have latched on at the beginning, but superbaby used that already. So I'm going to say the opposite to Thurlow . If I could put him down at all for any period of time without him screaming like a maniac. Also he only napped for 20 minutes at a time so I could never do the 'sleep when he sleeps' thing.

silverangel · 09/08/2013 22:03

It had been born able to communicate and with teeth!

JimmyCorkhill · 09/08/2013 22:13

I had one of those babies! She was a dream. Used to nod off on my lap in a variety of coffee shops, then I'd lay her down on the sofa next to me whilst she just slumbered on. She's now 3. I am hanging. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't stop .

Thurlow · 09/08/2013 22:25

jimmy For every baby or toddler that does something another parent would murder for, there will be payback later!

18mo LOVES her sleep. Self-settles and sleeps through and has done from a very young age.

The terrible 2's started at about 14 months old...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/08/2013 23:51

What mawbroon said. Tt nearly sent me over the bloody edge.

ButteryJam · 10/08/2013 08:27

If I had known about tongue tie

ladypop · 10/08/2013 21:31

....If he would have entertained the idea of taking milk out of a receptacle other than my boob; at 5 months I really didn't think he was going to let me go back to work!
Having said that, we have had the opposite problem this time with DS2. After a wonderful start, at 3 weeks old, he decided he had had enough of the boob and much preferred the bottle! .....go figure!

minipie · 10/08/2013 23:31

if she hadn't been premature
if she'd slept anywhere other than on my chest for the first 3 months
if I'd got her tongue tie diagnosed earlier than 15 weeks old, and hadn't been told in hospital that she didn't have it
if she actually liked sleeping and didn't regard it as a form of torture by boredom
if I hadn't been surrounded by mothers of babies who slept like angels

sorry you said one thing didn't you... !

no1childminder · 10/08/2013 23:44

My 13mth old DS has always been a good sleeper. I believe it may have something to do with never rocking him to sleep and just leaving him whilst he was asleep. Obviously we cuddled him, and when visitors came we always let them pick him up if he was asleep, but other than that we left him to sleep in peace. At play groups etc i just had to put a blanket or cushion on the floor, give him his dummy and muzzy and he'll fall asleep. Anywhere he would just fall asleep. A little bit harder nowadays as he wants to be nosey and/or go off and play. But I just strap him in his buggy. If he woke in the night he would just get whingey if we picked him up and tried to rock or bounce him. He just wants his dummy and muzzy. I found having a comforter, like a muzzy, really helps. And they learn to associate that with sleeping. It was our choice to give it to him. We would put it next to his face in his Moses basket when he started to show signs of tiredness. I chose a muzzy knowing I had lots and they were so easy to get hold of. I'm now PG again and I will definitely be doing that again. I may try not to give a dummy but I tried with DS1 but when the midwife told me it reduces the risk of cot death of course I was going to use one. So I prob will with the next one.

minipie · 11/08/2013 18:11

no1childminder you say you never rocked your DS to sleep. So how did you get him to sleep then?

Thereonthestair · 11/08/2013 18:16

If he hadn't been very premature, very ill, and in hospital for weeks.

If that hadn't left him with cerebral palsy. I thought he was difficult, screams and refluxy (in some ways he was all of those things, and on reflux meds and asthma meds for nearly 2 years) it was only later I knew that it was because he'd been starved of oxygen and may well have been in real pain.

He did sleep though.

timeforanothernewname · 11/08/2013 18:18

Oh, ffs. I was loving this thread til someone came along with the 'hey, everything was fine for me because I did it right' post.

Another vote for tongue tie. DS was so unhappy and hard to read. He found babyhood so hard (has been more and more settled as he's emerged into toddlerhood). Has never slept well. I felt so useless for much of his first year. And god, it hurt.

I still feel really sad about it. Like we were cheated. :(

timeforanothernewname · 11/08/2013 18:20

There :(

50BalesOfHay · 11/08/2013 18:20

Can I have a little boast about my lovely little great granddaughter? She was 6 weeks prem, mum is only just 14. (whole other thread). She's 4 months, sleeps through the night, spends the day playing, rarely cries. I had nightmares when gd finally accepted that she was pregnant (the gc live with us) but little one is just so lovely and easy.

minipie · 11/08/2013 18:23

Of course you can have a boast 50Bales but possibly best not on a thread about why people found their DCs difficult?

shockedballoon · 11/08/2013 18:24

Lets hope dc2 plays by those rules for you as well no1childminder ...

MrsPresley · 11/08/2013 18:24

Well my babies would all have been easier if I'd just adopted them when they were 21

I could have just bypassed the sleepless nights, potty training, terrible 2's and the teenage years

ps, seriously... I wouldn't have changed a thing

cogitosum · 11/08/2013 18:27

I'm still living it as ds is 2 weeks old but for me do far it would be if I knew what he was going to do... ie he'll fall to sleep (only on the boob) and I'll put him down but will have no idea if it'll be for 10 mins or 2 hours.. There's no pattern or indication and if I knew I could plan accordingly and try to sleep or just quickly wash up or whatever.

RedPencils · 11/08/2013 18:28

If he had Been born 3 years after his twin brother.

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