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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My baby would have been much easier if....

60 replies

BotBotticelli · 09/08/2013 20:02

...he had been one of those babies that just drifts off to sleep in their mum's arms whilst she chats away in a coffee shop, or taps away on MN. I have seen such babies! They exist!

My DS, as a newborn, would scream his head off when tired, even if not overtired, and it would be a 15 minute battle to vigorously rock him to sleep whilst replacing his dummy and shhhhhing like a maniac. He has never once drifted off into a contented sleep in my arms! Even now, at 8mo, he self settles in his cot by spending 10 minutes babbling, shouting, crawling around, rawling about etc etc. Sleep just doesn't come easy to him!

What would be the one thing that would have made your LO 'easier' in the beginning....?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

50BalesOfHay · 11/08/2013 18:35

Sorry, shockedballoon, just it has all been such a worry, and I'm stunned at how well It's going, largely because she's so easy. Not meaning to upset anyone. Just happy with unexpected love of tiny person whose arrival I was dreading.

50BalesOfHay · 11/08/2013 18:40

Sorry, and wrong poster as well.

elQuintoConyo · 11/08/2013 18:43

If he hadn't had colic for the first 3/4 months of his wee life. Horrific for everyone. One he screamed non-stop from 10am-6pm poor little bean.

gretagrape · 11/08/2013 18:51

If he hadn't been given to a woman who is the grumpiest grump from Grumptown if she is disorganised, late, hungry and tired!

gretagrape · 11/08/2013 19:07

Oh yes, and if his mummy didn't guzzle milk and yoghurt like it was going out of fashion as he turned out to be allergic to cow's milk....cue a lifetime of guilt.

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 11/08/2013 19:16

i hadn't been traumatised by my post natal care. We didn't fully bond until he was 11mo old. It hurts to think of it now

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 11/08/2013 19:17

My babies would have been so much easier if I had servants, and saw them for the good bits...

In reality...my eldest would have been a lot easier if I hadn't had her as a teen!

mouseymummy · 11/08/2013 19:21

If she would go to anyone else... Seriously, dd1 was a dream baby, spent hours asleep,.no colic/reflux, bf exclusively for 3 months and took to combi feeding like a pro. Never went through food refusal and would quite happily go to other people and be put down.

Dd2.... Grr, has had colic, refuses to be put down, clings to me like a baby spider monkey, refused breast milk and had to be bottle fed ( causing Me massive guilt) still, at 10mo refuses to sleep any where but on me during the day. Takes at least an hour to get her in bed on a night (sleep training was an unmitigated disaster.)

I just hope ds1 (due in October) is better!

sleepis4rwimps · 11/08/2013 19:29

He hadn't had colic
He hadn't chewed my nips to shreds
He slept (still wishing)
He ate more than 3 foods

Love him to bits though and wouldn't change him for the world

no1childminder · 11/08/2013 20:08

minipie we would just put him in his Moses basket after every feed, once he had been changed. He used to just sleep til his next feed. Same thing happened at night. No fuss or needing to be rocked etc. when he got older we would look for the signs he was tired and put him straight to bed, preferably still awake. I can honestly say he has never ever been rocked. Now he's the same. As soon as he's tired he likes to be put to bed and left alone. Yes shockedballoon I'm hoping the next one is the same, but I doubt I'd be that lucky!

DreamsOfAShower · 11/08/2013 20:09

....I had been a LUCKIER parent. (not at better parent)

I think mouseymummy proves the point that all babies are different and it is not your fault if your baby isn't easy.
ime parents of more challenging are actually BETTER informed because we've had to read up and google every sleep site/breastfeeding site etc

To all who've had to cuddle/rock/pat/shush/sing/feed to sleep: well done. And for those who still cling to the 'rod' theory:

healthland.time.com/2010/09/29/no-such-thing-as-too-much-love-spoiled-babies-grow-up-to-be-smarter-kinder-kids/

DreamsOfAShower · 11/08/2013 20:11

Sorry, converted the link now
healthland.time.com/2010/09/29/no-such-thing-as-too-much-love-spoiled-babies-grow-up-to-be-smarter-kinder-kids/

Ohfuckohfuckofuck · 11/08/2013 21:11

no1childminder you may be lucky again, you may not. Just so you know, not all babies will be put down even if full, dry, clean & comfortable. Some (dd) have a spirit level built in. When it gets to a certain angle, they scream. Sometimes it's reflux, sometimes it's just that they prefer being held. Your tone was a little condescending, so I just wanted to say it. Sorry if ou meant nothing by it. DS was much happier to sleep away from me in the day.

My dd would have been easier if I could've put her down to wee/eat/drink/shower without her screaming.

Ds would've been easier if he'd not been ripped from me with forceps over his eye causing him excruciating pain every time he sucked. nothing £200 of cranial osteopathy couldn't put right.

minipie · 12/08/2013 08:12

hahahaha the idea that dd would have just gone to sleep if put in her Moses basket! of course I wouldn't have rocked her if she'd done that, I'm not that daft. no1childminder I think you just got lucky.

TwoTearsInABucket · 12/08/2013 08:28

DS would have been easier if his mother didn't spend most of his babyhood in the grip of extreme worry. He was a great sleeper, seriously had two hour naps in the day and still went to sleep at night.

Now, at 5 years old, he comes into our bed every single night and he isn't asleep before 9.30pm generally. Not great.

DD would have been easier if she didn't use my boob as a dummy to get to sleep.

But they would have both would have been easier if they had come out fully toilet trained. I fucking hate potty training - i hate it that much that it merits swearing.

MillionPramMiles · 12/08/2013 08:42

Dd would have been easier if her parents lived in a quiet, rural area so her sleep wasn't constantly disturbed by planes, sirens, neighbours etc.
I also wish I'd known earlier that bfeeding just wasn't filling her up, despite feeding on demand. Seeing her nap properly for the first time at 5 months after a formula top up was a lightbulb moment.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 12/08/2013 09:13

DS would have been easier if he had been at all interested in milk. At first he would just fall asleep the second he started eating and just stop, so i spent 1:15 feeding him every 1.5h. He was born with a tongue tie but even now that's been sorted he just doesn't doesn't like milk. He'd also have been easier if he would latch onto the breast at all. He just refused the nipple every single feed for 2 days until I gave in and cup fed him.

SummerSevern · 12/08/2013 09:38

Dd (currently 3 wks) would be easier if she came with little indicator valves - hunger, sleepy and gas.
Then at least I'd understand why she's been awake since 4am!

no1childminder · 12/08/2013 21:38

ohfuck gosh yes I know. I've been a nanny for 10yrs and a lot of my experience has been with newborns/little babies. I know every baby is different and not all will just be put down. Sorry for my blondness but I don't know what condescending means??

Noteveryday · 12/08/2013 21:42

When you have one baby you think everything they do (good or bad) is down to something you did or didn't do.

Then the second one comes along and fucks you over.

Jollyb · 12/08/2013 21:46

I hadn't gone through 4 nights of no sleep before she arrived. If I had realised that newborns need feeding more frequently than 3 hourly. If our NCT teacher hadn't terrified us with the story of her daughter's colic.

Ohfuckohfuckofuck · 12/08/2013 22:26

no1childminder I presume you know how to use a dictionary? Also, please don't use blond as a euphemism for 'uninformed' its insulting & disingenuous.

^that is a bit condescending.

Honestly, your previous posts about how you never rock your baby to sleep & that is why they self settle so beautifully come across as very smug. I doubt many people rock their babies as a first port of call. Necessity creates & all. You were lucky.

Ohfuckohfuckofuck · 12/08/2013 22:29

Of course I have a friend who never rocked or fed her ds to sleep. Not even once. I was in awe of her as dd is exactly the same age. Turns out she let him scream himself to sleep, every time. From day 1.

Now at 3 1/2 he is the most insecure child I've ever met, my friend's insatiable desire for him to be independent has fuelled this & backfired.

I look at dd earlier & the thought that went through my mind was not 'gosh, I wish I'd cuddles her less'.

WhatAFunnyPotato · 13/08/2013 04:25

That's awful ohfuck - poor baby

Gas is the bane of my life. Bum gas. My baby girl farts like a grown man, and it wakes us all up overnight. It causes untold crying, straining and thrashing/pulling on the boob. Nothing I've tried has worked. If it wasn't for gas she'd be a dream.

stripeysock · 13/08/2013 08:38

They had colostomy bags

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