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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

As a child, were you one of three? If you were, can you tell me what it was like?

44 replies

docket · 31/07/2013 16:09

I've got 3 DC, they're 8, 7 and 3.8. I've noticed that in any combination of 2 they get on like a house on fire but in a 3 there is fighting, bickering and 'muuuuuum, he/she (insert crime here)...'

Is it because three is always a crowd? I'm aware that this phase may pass but it's been going on a while and I'm starting to wonder whether it won't!

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Belgianchox · 31/07/2013 16:24

I have three at the same ages more or less, and was also one of three, altho with a bigger age difference between the third sibling and the elder two. I think much depends on the personalities, my three can get along really nicely, and then at times rip shreds off eachother, altho generally only 2 out of 3 arguing at any given time. I do agree that when there's just 2 they get along better, regardless of combo. One is bliss....different people. Will watch with interest how this develops.

fancyanother · 31/07/2013 16:28

I'm thinking about a third. Both mine get on really well most of the time, maybe it lulled me into a false sense of security and I thought all three would get on even better! Tell me some horror stories to knock some sense into me!

chickensaladagain · 31/07/2013 16:35

I'm one of 3

There was always 1 left out although it did vary which one

Trying to find an activity which suited 3 children of different ages was a nightmare for my parents and they often got it wrong

Although chores worked quite well -1 washing, 1 drying, 1 putting away lol

My older sister feels like she was given less attention and is the one who had to negotiate the rules

I'm 2nd girl, middle child and do suffer from middle child syndrome

My brother is youngest and always felt hard done to because he wasn't the first to do anything so the novelty had worn off by the time he got to high school etc

I'd start ttc number 4 if I were you

sweetfluffybunnies · 31/07/2013 16:36

I was the youngest of 3 (still am) and often felt picked on or excluded (still do!) I don't think it ruined my life though! I don't think we argued any more or less than any other siblings - that's just down to personalities. And on the plus side, once we got to be teens I got away with much more than the older ones- I guess my parents were more experienced and laid back with me than with them.

Original poster

docket · 31/07/2013 16:36

I was one of three to but my sisters were a lot older so we didn't really grow up together.

I guess it's not unexpected that 2 may get on better but it doesn't really seem to be personality-based, more just being 2 at a time based...

OP posts:

officelady · 31/07/2013 16:38

I was one of three and remember many a car journey with my dad threatening to stop and throw us out of the car if we didn't stop fighting. I often was made to sit between my brothers in an effort to keep the peace. Me & my older brother got on very well, only 13 months between us, but we used to gang up on our little brother (who was only 2 yrs younger) and made his life quite awful at times - excluding him from our games and blaming him for our misdemeanours! We all get on brilliantly now though and have done since we were teenagers.

DuelingFanjo · 31/07/2013 16:40

I was middle of three.
There was a fairly equal age gap between us all but I was closer to my brother (Younger) as a child and am now closer to my older sister.

Yes, there was bickering. My sister and me were quite vile to each other. On the other hand I had constant companionship. We two younger ones did stuff together and my sister was probably a bit excluded - by choice I am not sure but she didn't want to play our kind of games.

I think it's natural for there to be tension, particularly between the oldest and any younger more annoying kids.

orangeandemons · 31/07/2013 16:41

I'm one of three ( youngest) my brother (the eldest) used to make me gang up on my sister all the time. We thought it was hilarious. I don't think my sister ever got over it...

sweetfluffybunnies · 31/07/2013 16:41

officelady
I hope you feel guilty for picking on the youngest!!

gaggiagirl · 31/07/2013 16:44

Oldest of 3 here.
We would fight to the near death and one of us would be left out of the other two's secret game but it was a different one each time.
now we are all grown up and are the best of friends apart from a few issues but that's normal in any family.

ValiumQueen · 31/07/2013 16:46

I am the youngest of three, the only girl and 4 years younger than the others. One brother was always left out because he was a nob. He still is.

I now have three of my own, two girls and a boy. Too early to tell how things will be as the youngest is only 9 months old, but the girls fight a lot at 7 and 3.

I think every family is different so you cannot compare or guess how things will be.

rallytog1 · 31/07/2013 17:04

I'm one of three - my younger brothers are twins. Growing up I always felt a little bit like the odd one out but if anything that made me independent and gave me a thick skin.

Now we're grown up I have great but very different relationships with both brothers. I love being one of three.

JassyRadlett · 31/07/2013 17:13

I'm another one of three. Yes, often one excluded and my mum once sat down and figured out all the permutations of how we could argue with each other and with our parents and it was boggling. With 2, you can argue with each other and either individually or jointly with your parent(s). With three, you get more individual fighting, plus hanging up.

I am still deciding whether to have a second (barriers mainly financial/logistical) but will never have a third. DH is one of two and always thought having three might be quite nice...

Cordial · 31/07/2013 17:29

I am the Youngest of three. I had a very happy childhood but we mainly got on best in twosomes. Which two depended on age or circumstance! My DH is one of two they hardly ever argued which I think is weird he still doesn't do confrontation well!

We all get on well now! One thing that improved behaviour at our house were joint punishments you don't squabble if you will get everybody in trouble!

Mrsrobertduvall · 31/07/2013 17:38

Was the youngest of three with huge age gaps.....dsis 14 years older than me, db 8 years older .
I have no relationship with sister...can't even remember her living at home.
Hated my brother as a kid, but we are great friends now.

squeaver · 31/07/2013 17:42

Middle of three. Two years between each of us. I fought horrendously with my younger sister - way more than with my older brother. My brother and I had the closest bond (not now, though, I'm much closer to my sis now).

I do remember us all playing together but it was always under sufferance that we involved my sister. But then she really played up being the baby.

Definitely had middle child syndrome. It's real, it exists!

peanutbuttersarnies · 31/07/2013 17:48

I'm one of 3 and one was always left out. For us it was usually the same one. Its put me off having 3. I'd rather have 2 or 4.

painforlife · 31/07/2013 17:50

oldest of 3 & the only girl. 2 younger brothers. age gap was 3 years (1st bro) and 7 years (2nd bro).

we all got on like a house on fire! perhaps it was the age gaps :)

GrimmaTheNome · 31/07/2013 17:53

I'm the youngest of three - two big brothers. They were good big bros, we got on pretty well and they let me join in board games, cards etc from quite young. and I enjoyed them bringing their friends home esp when they were at uni

I don't remember much fighting. But they're quite a bit older (~6 and 9 years) so I guess we did our own things quite a lot.

BackforGood · 31/07/2013 17:56

I was one of 4, but I have 3 dc.
They do generally bicker / fight when all are here, but it's great when one isn't, as the other 2 (whichever combination) seem to then always get on.

Procrastinating · 31/07/2013 17:56

I'm the oldest of three and I have three of my own.
My three (2 boys, 1 girl) get along well and seem to look after each other. I like the way they are a formidable little team when out together.

On the other hand I never got on with my sister and my brother was too young to have anything in common with me. I don't think that is because we were three, just that my sister was an almighty pain in the arse. I wouldn't like to have 4 because I might inflict a sister like that on my poor dd.

HRMumness · 31/07/2013 18:05

I am the middle and only daughter. I have a brother three years older and one six years younger. We all used to fight like cat and dog. My older brother fell into the wrong crowd in his teenage years and has never got on with my Dad since. My Mum is constantly rescuing him even though he is in his mid thirties. My younger brother is the baby, he struggled in the early years of school (he went onto uni and is now a wonderful teacher) and has been pandered to his whole life by my parents. I always did well at school, held a part time job and never got into too much trouble so I always felt like my parents didn't pay me much attention. I moved to the uk in my early 20s. I speak to my parents regularly, especially since my DD was born (first grandchild) but don't speak to my brothers regularly much. I love them both very much but we are different people.

HmmmmNeedToDecide · 31/07/2013 18:13

I am
One of 3, same age gap as you.

I am in the middle and middle child syndrome is real!

Also what pp have said, 2 of us together is great, all 3 is murder always has been, and still
Is in our twenties

Itsaburrdiee · 31/07/2013 18:16

Eldest of three, only girl. I always felt left out as my brothers used to play/fight together. I have also always found it an awkward number. For my family it meant extending the house, bigger car. Holidays could be tricky as designed for families of four not five.

I now have two children and think we'll be sticking at that.

I should add I get on reasonably well with my brothers now but I'm still not as close to them as they are to each other.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 31/07/2013 18:18

I was the eldest of 3 - I have an image of me in the middle of the back seat with my little bro and sis asleep with their heads on my lap (before the days of seat belts ) - all well covered in blankets which DM would throw over us all.

We'd often break off into two's for some reason, different schools, or interests, or just because if you want company sometimes one is enough.
(But am probably biased there as I have 2 !)

We had a lot of fun all 3 together as well though, especially during the summer hols.

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