As a child, were you one of three? If you were, can you tell me what it was like?

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I've got 3 DC, they're 8, 7 and 3.8. I've noticed that in any combination of 2 they get on like a house on fire but in a 3 there is fighting, bickering and 'muuuuuum, he/she (insert crime here)...'

Is it because three is always a crowd? I'm aware that this phase may pass but it's been going on a while and I'm starting to wonder whether it won't!

I'm the oldest of three. In my experience, two children are two children, three is the start of a herd. My DB is 18 months younger and our Dsis is nearly three years younger than that. I definitely feel that as the oldest I had to "be in charge" and was held responsible for things my younger siblings did wrong as well as for the things I actually did wrong. That's typical of all oldest siblings I suppose, although probably worse when you're a larger group as there's more potential for misbehaviour from someone from the group IYSWIM. Also I was held to stricter standards of behaviour than my younger siblings, e.g. my sister being allowed to do certain things as a teenager at younger ages than I'd been allowed to do them once our mother had seen they wouldn't actually result in certain death/teen pregnancy/heroin addiction etc. Can you tell I'm still bitter? Overall it's hard to say what it would have been like to have been an only or one of two or whatever, but certainly there's less attention per child. Older children end up with less attention as their needs may be less immediate (are expected to fend for themselves). Younger children get overshadowed and spend their childhoods longing to catch up. Finally having to share a room with a sister four years younger till I was ten got very fraught. It meant that as I was becoming more of a tween than a child, she was still very much a child and would do endless things which I found annoying/embarrassing like reading my diary and telling people. I'd certainly factor in siblings having to share past say 5 or 6 years old plus age gap between sharing siblings before deciding to have more than 2 kids.

I'm of 3, I'm the oldest and my brothers are 12 years younger (twins). I hate them and the feeling is mutual. Their arrival got me dumped in boarding school, wrecked my relationship with my mother, they're her favourites and that will never change. They will never be trusted with my dc, I flatly refuse to allow either of my children to address them as 'uncle'...they don't deserve the respect!

Middle of 3, at any given time 2 of us hated each other. My older brother was (is) spoilt and deferred to, younger sister and him used to also gang up on me, she would maintain that she was largely ignored and left out.
We mainly get on well now though.

I only have one (choice)... go figure

I'm the youngest of 3, huge age gaps , 11yrs between me & eldest, 7 yrs between me & middle.( mum wanted 5 but had medical issues & lost 2 pregnancies). The 2 against 1 thing did happen from time to time, but by the time I was a teenager we all got on great & still do.

I have 3 aged 3, 5 and 7. They do bicker, but not as much as my brother and I did! (There were just the two of us.)

I'm the middle of three (only girl) and have classic middle child syndrome I will definitely not be planning three myself...

One always left out (did vary who though) and SO much fighting/bickering that I now feel sorry for our parents. A big part of that though was fighting for our mum's attention and point scoring to get it. She was a teacher and had had enough of kids by the time she got home.

We get on a lot better as adults, though sadly don't live that close. And my big brother still knows how to press my buttons! and enjoys doing it the sod

I was the younges of 3. Have an older sister and an older brother. I LOVED IT!

I still do. I love that even though we're not all in each other's pockets and incredibly close yet we still are there for each other. I love having them in my life and I know that no matter what we are there for each other when needed.

My brother and sis are only 18 months apart yet didn't really get on or play as children. I was 4 years younger than sister and 3 years younger than brother yet got on well with them both. My happiest childhood memories are of playing with my sister on holiday or messing around with my brother in the garden.

I loved having them but sometimes didn't like being the youngest because it seemed to me that they were allowed to do a lot more than me. Maybe that was my perception. I'd certainly never ever be without them. I adore them both and had a happy childhood.

I'm the youngest of 3, my brother and sister are 10 and 8 years older than me.

I felt very much that it was them and me rather than a unit but it's not like that now we are grown up and I assume it was more to do with the big age gap.

That said, I have 2 kids and have always said if we had one more wed have to have 2 more iyswim.

Youngest of 3 by six years and the only girl. Yes, we did fight but all siblings do. I also think that personality affects whether it becomes two against one as my eldest brother was a bit more of a loner and middle bro and I enjoyed hanging around together. Now as adults I love them equally and look back on our childhood really fondly.

Youngest of 3, big age gap between me and the others, really more of an only child. Was spoilt rotten in some ways but sometimes that was just that my parents were too knackered and broke to do anything but give in... but would also definitely relate to the elder two having fought all my battles for me (not always a good thing). I would say that resources were running a bit thin in my family by the time I came along. We're fond of each other as adults but can't say we are massively close, though the What Do We Do About Dad issue does bond us to some extent.

I sometimes think having 3 is the start of the large family benefit that you never feel too bad if you are not particularly close to one person in the family at any stage, as you know there are others around for them. I definitely feel that.

Thanks for your interesting comments everyone.

MrsG - like you I've loved having a brother and a sister. I think 3 can work really well, though personally we stopped at 2 - also a good number I think

I think it's worth noting that, you are only a child for 18 years. You will have your siblings for the rest of your life (hopefully). As adults, we've become so much closer since we've not had to live together . But seriously, as we've had to deal with bereavement and illness and having our own families, and all the things that life throws at you, I've been very glad to have my siblings.

I was one of three, and now have 3 dc. In both cases evenly spaced with 3 years between each.

I would say the same as the others and for both me (I'm middle) and my dc it tends to be two get on great, with one left out.

When I was growing up it went in phases, I got on more with the younger one until secondary age, then better with the older one.

My dc it varies. They do play nicely all together, but that's usually more organised games (eg board games) or something I've set up.
They do cook together well because they all like doing different bits and they accept the leadership of dd1 in there-other times the younger ones can be jostling for control.
But as a general rule, one is left out simply because of the activity.

The way I deal with it, is that they are not allowed to leave one out if they want to do the activity. But the one left out cannot go and say that they don't want to play that and everyone has to do what they want.

They all play nicely on their own too, which helps.

I was the eldest of three, and to be honest my childhood memories are full of bickering. I felt quite hard done to - as the eldest had to be more responsible, blamed if there was arguing, parents much stricter with me etc. The middle sibling has terrible middle child syndrome which is still in evidence today and the youngest got away with murder which still annoys me!

I get on with both my siblings fine now, but there are niggling issues (especially related to the middle child thing).

I was the eldest of three, usually the one left out, although it did vary. I have four now, one is a baby so it's like having three at the moment. If the younger two play with the eldest it tends to be OK, but they fight each other (similar sizes despite being 2.5 years between, they seem to act more like twins) I think the eldest prefers to be left out because of it and would rather look after her brother instead.

I was the youngest of three until I was 6yo, then my younger sister was born . I remember fighting a fair bit with my older brother, but not much with my sister (the eldest) at all. She was only three years older but took on the 'referee' role, and was given quite a bit of responsibility in looking after us younger ones as we grew up. I was a bit of a loner though and preferred playing by myself even with three siblings, so I don't think we fit the stereotype of most 3/4 child families. I used to just sit quietly in my room and do lots of drawing/craft activities - so much for having siblings to ensure a playmate for the other dc!

I'm the youngest of 3. I don't think we ever played as a threesome, unless there were other friends in the mix. It could be any combination of 2. As adults - we don't do anything as a threesome either. I'll meet one or the other of them. The rare times we have been all together, two invariably gang up on the other one. My dh is also one of three and I'd say the same with him - he's fine with either one of his siblings, but if all three are together, there's usually a disagreement.

Middle of three with two brothers like Itsaburrdiee, Hmmmm and HRMumness. HR's experience is the mirror of mine. I think age gaps really matter. I was 18 months from my older brother and 9 years from my younger. Very close to my older brother (as were thick as thieves as kids before no 3 was born) but there is a bit of a generation gap with the younger. I was a tom-boy so playing 'boys games' was easy. Always played in twos whether with older or younger. Had to try a lot harder with younger brother as what games were 'cool' was very different - there also wasn't the shared history.