HV rant - my toddler is 'overweight'

[sleepcrisis]

Well clearly he's not, he looks totally normal to me and any sane person. My HV on the other hand is massive.

DS was born on 25th centile for both weight and height. His height has remained steady on the 25th but as soon as he started putting on weight it crept up to bang in the middle of 50-75 centiles at 6 months and has stayed there ever since.

HV at his 2 year check this week told me that such a discrepancy must be monitored and that I should cut down his sugar intake.

The boy has a massive head (99 centile) and always has. Surely that weighs a fair bit?

I have found myself doubting his diet! He does eat a huge amount of fruit, fresh and dried. HV commented on sugar content of fruit. HE also has a Ellas kitchen cereal bar every day or so. She was scathing. Other than that he loads of veg and a balanced diet with portion sizes roughly 1/4-1/3 and adult size ( I have in the past wondered if he eats enough but never forced him to eat more)

When I have a cake or an ice cream (probably every other day) he shares it with me but rarely has his own. Although he likes to think it is his own - I just make sure I eat 3/4 of it! SHould I cut this out? He clearly does have a sweet tooth but he very rarely has biscuits (toddler group only), never juice, never sweets. The HV was banging on about sugar and sweeties and biscuits etc - he never has them!

Am I in denial about DS's diet and should I be more concerned than I am?

Oh and the other thing she critisized was that he eats little and often - for example he has a barely there breakfast but then 2 morning snacks at 930 and 11. (a banana and then later a box raisins or more fruit). She told me to cut out all snacks and just give him 3 meals a day.

Disclaimer: I was on here about a month ago listing his food intake and questioning whether he eats enough. Clearly I was wrong about that.

have you tried starting with the smaller snack first thing, and then the main breakfast later? (thats how i eat naturally)
re milk etc, children up to age 5 should have full fat, especially milk, because semi skimmed is so much lower in all the nutrients (my children drink alot of milky drinks, i do them half milk half hot water tho)
Also, children just do have their own size and shape. I have 2 that get fed the same, ones whippet skinny the other one is much more 'solid' looking (although the second one is much more likely to go on a sugar hunt... and get it from her nana!)
your son's diet sounds very healthy, and you said he's been on the same centiles since 6m? I think you need to calm down and not start a battle with him HV may have just been a bit of a jobs worth.

If he isn't fat why are you restricting his eating? Feed him when he's hungry, don't make him sit still, he'll be fine.

I don't think of ds as having 3 meals and 2 snacks, he has 5 meals, so always has savoury and protein first. So breakfast was cereal, milk and fruit, brunch will be breadsticks and hummous followed by fruit, lunch will be hm soup, tea will be hm fruit cake or cheese with crackers, supper is fish and potatoes and a final proton of fruit. I will have my ice cream during his nap. For anyone thinking that's a lot of fruit: he gets terrible constipation if he doesn't have that much.

Add for things to add to porridge, you can add frozen currants

I don't see what's wrong with grazing? I'd carry on as you are, he sounds happy and healthy.

The snacks thing I'm sure is more to do with fruit sugar hits regarding his teeth. Sugar wise, I think he is perhaps having too much in the form of dried fruit and fructose but per than that, all sounds great!

They have targets and levels at which to intervene....just don't see her again....you don't have to see your HV.

The problem with grazing is no matter how healthy the meal the food all adds up meaning it is easy to end up over eating, particularly if they have 3 main meals and then carry on grazing

Snacking is NOT normal in most of the world. Only in the UK and US... Where it's presented by marketeers as normal. And coincidentally is where the highest rates of obesity are.

For comparison's sake, DD3 (3y11m, weighs 13.5kg) will eat:
Breakfast: enough cereal to cover the bottom of the bowl, one slice of toast, sometimes egg and soldiers instead of toast. Small glass of juice (often apple) that rarely is drunk.

She'll have a drink mid-morning.

Lunch:
Pasta, protein in the shape of meat or fish or cheese, carrots or half an avocado or raw pepper, fruit- about enough to loosely cover a tea plate.

Maybe some grapes mid-afternoon but often nothing.

Supper might be meat, potato and vegetables. Rarely pudding but if it is it's fruit and/or yoghurt. If it's got too late she often doesn't finish supper (which is why I try to feed her a balanced mainish meal at lunchtime).

Almost never has biscuits, sweets or dried fruit. Hardly ever a snack. She is on the go all the time from the moment she gets up till bedtime, so never short of energy! But all children are different and DS was certainly a lot more hungry than the 3 DDs have been. All very active though.

I wouldn't really worry at this stage but would try and monitor his weight myself over the next few months (not too frequently though). When ds was little we'd always find he'd get a bit of a podgy tummy and then have a growth spurt and look a bit skinny again.

In terms of diet don't change his milk. Full fat milk is 4% fat and ss is 2%, so there's not really that much difference but the ful fat has so many more useful fat-soluble vitamins and essential fatty acids (good for brain development especially if organic). The things to worry about are dried raisins are they are just sugar with very little other benefit - dried apricots are better because although they are full of sugar, they are also rich in iron. Also modern apples can be quite high in sugars so look for a more traditional apple - there's a table online somewhere that shows sugar content for different apples. I also try and stick to a rule of having proper sugar in food so I check the ingredients and if it contains fructose or glucose syrups then I don't buy them.

Grazing in itself is not good, obviously

Better to be hungry between meals, so you get into the habbit of eating when hungry, and NOT eating when not hungry ( mindless snacking must be a key factor in obesity).

Also, grazing is bad for your teeth

I'm amazed by this thread!

op if your child has an unhealthy diet then so does mine. since when do homecooked food, fruit, yoghurt and healthy snacks constitute a cause for obesity? raisins aren't 'pure sugar'!! they contain iron, fibre and other vitamins and minerals. fruit is HEALTHY ffs! growing children need energy!

I don't understand this. it's things like this that remind me why I avoid health visitors like the plague. I've never had a sensible suggestion from any of mine.

look at your child, op. you say he's reasonably skinny? meeting milestones? happy and healthy? his head is on 99th centile - it may be that the rest of his is catching up as it's unusual to have such a large discrepancy between head/height/weight.

seriously, op, stop second guessing yourself. in my opinion you're doing brilliantly and your dc sounds healthy and like he takes after you and your dp!

In think your child's diet is really good! You should be congratulating yourself not feeling guilty. Carry on as you are is my advice.

I agree that you should give a snack first thing in the morning and a breakfast later. Sounds like your DS isn't ready to eat breakfast first thing.

We have DS's 2 year check in a couple of weeks. He's 27mo. I think his height is 50th centile and his weight between 75th and 91st so we will probably get the same coments.

Anyone who picks DS up is amazed at how heavy he is, because he's heavier than he looks. DS doesn't eat as good a diet as yours though. He won't eat any veg other than carrots. Mine subsists mainly on fruit, meat and cheese. He'll eat bread/pasta but not regularly and he won't touch potatoes, rice or cous cous.

We switched to green milk when DS was 2 as it was easier/cheaper for us to just buy one kind of milk.

My DS is very active. Choosing to walk or ride his balance bike rather than go in the buggy. He has been known to walk for miles. I reckon my one is mostly muscle.

Jolly it would be interesting to hear what your hv says. Come back and let me know!

What stuck me most from the things you have written, sleepcrisis, was your HV saying your child doesn't look overweight, but she can't ignore the figures. . Does she not know that all children are individuals, who are not automatically going to fit the neat, statistical bands?

As a case in point, there are sportsmen who, when weighed and measured, have a BMI that defines them as obese - but they most certainly are not overweight - the BMI calculation doesn't take into account the fact that muscle is heavier than fat, so a muscly sportsman may have a high BMI but not an ounce of excess fat, and is very fit and healthy.

Cutting the dried fruit out of your son's diet is a good idea, but more because they are very tooth-unfriendly (dried fruit sticks to the teeth and can cause decay). Apart from that, it looks like he has a pretty good diet -yes there is a lot of sugar in fruit, but there is also lots of fibre and vitamins which are so good for him. Plus it is far better, surely, to have a child who loves, demands and eats lots of fruit than one who craves crisps or chocolate.

I threw my HV out of my house when she told me I didn't have my own son's best interests at heart when I wanted to carry on trying to make breast feeding work rather than putting him onto formula. They are usually a great support for parents of young children, but they do sometimes get things wrong.

I honestly can't see what's wrong with grazing, I've always done it, I just feel dreadful if I don't eat at least every 2 hours in the morning. Dd is the same. Neither of us are obese.

Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full.

JiltedJohnsJulie - I am sure I read somewhere that it is actually healthier to eat 6 smaller meals a day than three ordinary size ones - I suppose because it keeps your blood sugar levels more even.

My DD got sent to a paediatrician at 7 months because of 'excessive growth'... Otherwise known as being a total chubber. The Paed, bless her, told me not to worry, that you can't say bsbies/toddler's self regulate then put them on diets, and that as long as I was feeding her a normal healthy diet (and I quote "and that includes her bodyweight in biscuits at baby groups") that it would all even out by the time she went to school.

Sure enough, she weighed 15kg at 12 months... And 15.1kg at 24 months. With no change in diet, just offering her a range of food, including treats, and letting her eat what she liked.

15kg at 12 months Isn't that the weight of an average 4 year old?

and I quote "and that includes her bodyweight in biscuits at baby groups") good to know I've been doing things right

I'm not so sure, jiltedJohns - I always thought it was me that should be eating my child's body weight in biscuits at toddler groups.

Would have liked to see you wrestle DDs biscuits from her at toddler group. One of you would have come off worse and my money wouldn't have been on you

maja, certainly more than my nearly 4 yo weighs.

To illustrate the difference between children, DD3 actually almost never eats more than 1 biscuit. I think she must have a stomach the size of pea (with a bladder to match, alas )

Well, after 2 days of cut down dried fruit and fresh fruit, and 2sncks a day (eg nut butter, hummus) DS has woken with constipation at 6am , 1hr 15 mins earlier than normal.
Business as usual around here from now on (although I am still on raisin alert)

Yes toddler group and biscuits - they literally swarm around the plate like bees! How on earth is anyone meant to restrict that!? And also people who don't have many snacks, I'm genuinely interested in how you handle a day out eg at the beach. We live near the coast and I do think his grazing has got worse since we've had good weather - 6hr stretches on the beach does not lend itself to 3 full meals - all that running, swimming, sun, sea air - I don't think we'd manage it without endless Tupperwares of fruit and the odd lick of an ice cream ...