HV rant - my toddler is 'overweight'

[sleepcrisis]

Well clearly he's not, he looks totally normal to me and any sane person. My HV on the other hand is massive.

DS was born on 25th centile for both weight and height. His height has remained steady on the 25th but as soon as he started putting on weight it crept up to bang in the middle of 50-75 centiles at 6 months and has stayed there ever since.

HV at his 2 year check this week told me that such a discrepancy must be monitored and that I should cut down his sugar intake.

The boy has a massive head (99 centile) and always has. Surely that weighs a fair bit?

I have found myself doubting his diet! He does eat a huge amount of fruit, fresh and dried. HV commented on sugar content of fruit. HE also has a Ellas kitchen cereal bar every day or so. She was scathing. Other than that he loads of veg and a balanced diet with portion sizes roughly 1/4-1/3 and adult size ( I have in the past wondered if he eats enough but never forced him to eat more)

When I have a cake or an ice cream (probably every other day) he shares it with me but rarely has his own. Although he likes to think it is his own - I just make sure I eat 3/4 of it! SHould I cut this out? He clearly does have a sweet tooth but he very rarely has biscuits (toddler group only), never juice, never sweets. The HV was banging on about sugar and sweeties and biscuits etc - he never has them!

Am I in denial about DS's diet and should I be more concerned than I am?

Oh and the other thing she critisized was that he eats little and often - for example he has a barely there breakfast but then 2 morning snacks at 930 and 11. (a banana and then later a box raisins or more fruit). She told me to cut out all snacks and just give him 3 meals a day.

Disclaimer: I was on here about a month ago listing his food intake and questioning whether he eats enough. Clearly I was wrong about that.

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

dd2 is a chubby/fat/whatever toddler. so was her sister - she slimmed down at about 4 or 5, and was well within normal height/weight ratios by the time she was screened in reception.

I was the same - fat until 5, and whilst I have the odd spell of carrying a bit of baby/holiday weight, I've had normal BMI throughout my adult life.

so we infer from this that our genes tend towards producing chubby/fat babies, who eventually slim down to being averaged sized children and adult.

I think if you believe your toddler or child is overweight, the first course of action should be watch and wait. Do nothing with their diet. Weigh them monthly. Check their height similarly. Doing this over a period of 6months will give you lots more information about how they're growing, whether their growth in height is outstripping their growth in weight, or whether any further weight gain appears disproportionate. I would not rush to make dietary changes off the back of a single snapshot measurement.

That being said, there is no loss whatsoever from increasing his physical activity levels, so I might think about trying make sure you're getting properly active every day.

[brettgirl2]

I've heard of people being given odd height measurements at that age as its hard to measure a 2 year old accurately and the centiles are close. Therefore there is prob a centile difference. My 4 year old has a good centile difference the other way, no one suggests she is too thin.

If you think he looks fine just relax and make sure he eats a healthy diet.

[brettgirl2]

rnj by 4 there is a bmi calculator which compares against height, google it.

[sleepcrisis]

Thanks for so many more replies, hard to read them all now and on my phone but I get the idea I need to chill out. I am feeling much better about it now, he is the picture of perfect health, I can see his ribs, he runs the equivalent of a toddler marathon each day, I am cutting back on dried fruit, introducing more protein, looking at the child not the charts - all great advice so thank you.

For what it's worth, I just checked his bmi online with weight and height and he is 17.5, perfectly healthy apparantly.

That's good enough for me!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

is not on height chart as so tall is apparently obese when my Dd had her height and weight done in reception one Mum received a letter saying her daughter was too tall. The mothers reply was "so what would you like me to do? Chop her off at the knees?"

It seems that many HCP can't cope with children who don't meet the average on the charts.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

at sleep.

[sleepcrisis]

Ok so last night I was all chilled out, now not so much. Just made DS eggy bread with banana, strawberries and a bit of honey. He was up at 6 and been asking for breakfast all morning. He ate the fruit and then fought his way out of his chair. So those of you who advised little or no snacking, what do I do whn he is having an enormous melt down at 10am because he is starving? I can't force him to eat a good protein rich breakfast can I? I will try to offer him his leftovers but I doubt that will cut it in the heat of the moment.
I am trying to turn a blind eye to him not eating breakfast but he is already behaving hyped and hungry. It drives me insane because he eats so well at lunch and dinner :(

[sleepcrisis]

Admittedly this was a bit of an effort to get egg ito him as he never eats egg, so he probably genuinely didn't like it. Maybe I should do breakfast again in Hal an hour and do something like toast and marmite that I know he likes. Or porridge. What can input on porridge that is not too sugary? He does love his honey... I have some st dalfour jam, might try that.

[sleepcrisis]

Oh and when I said he are the fruit, I'm talking 2 strawberries and about 3 slices of banana :(

[WetGrass]

Not read the whole thread - but (after 4 slim DC) - I can confidently say that 3 meals a day is totally inappropriate for a toddler. 5 meals a day always here. Breakfast. Fruit at 10.30. Savoury Lunch. 'Tea' at 3.00 featuring any cakes/home baking etc that might be on the cards that day. Savoury dinner 5.00. Milk just before bed.

Any less frequent - and the moods are just awful.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Just keep an eye on it.

If you don't like her advice don't go, basically, she is just doing her job.

And of course she can know about healthy eating while being obese herself.

I know its great to go to the gym loads..but I don't.

That just sounds bitchy and defensive.

He sounds.like he has a healthy diet. Quite a lot of food. But then my DD constantly eats ans is skinny, its a.mystery to me.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Im pretty sure the people she really worries about are those who feed their kids.loads of crap and never get them to exercise.

Sounds like she was just mentioning it because she has to but it has got you really stressed.

Please don't..honestly

[WetGrass]

(Btw - I was hounded by the hv for having DC 75th height and 25th or below weight (4 times the same pattern).

Build up a healthy and balanced food culture in your family and the long term will follow.

at sugar-free yogurts for toddlers. Each to their own - but I'd rather send my toddler out to clean the communal stairwell with her tongue than tank her up on nasty artificial sweeteners. Plain yoghurt + fruit = job done.

[Sirzy]

Is he confusing hunger and thirst?

Try offering him water instead when he is saying he is hungry.

That said I don't see an issue with one or two snacks a day, it is the constant snacking - especially if snacks aren't varied - which is a potential problem.

[Parmarella]

People, including some HV's are so stupid about averages.

As if average is something to aim for, something desirable in itself...

Oldest DS was worried about a lot, as in top 5% for height, and bottom 5% for weight. He is a stringbean, as DH used to be before he developed hs rugby player physique.

Other DS, like the OP's child, was born with big head, hands and feet. He was classed as overweight by inane school nurse, when clearly he is just big boned ( literally, his skull and bones are jst much chunkier than DS1) he does not have an inch to pinch anywhere on his body, no fat at all.

It seems as if people do not trust their eye sight and only go by charts and averages, so brainless.

[sleepcrisis]

I'm sure he does confuse thirst and hunger, but if I suspect that I wouldn't give a snack, I usually leave water around and once he has calmed down he drinks.

Re sugar free yoghurts, there are no articdical sweeteners involved, just fruit juice. We often do Greek yogurt and banana or strawberries too.

I am going all militant on snacking today, one mid morning and one mid afternoon. The problem is that he refuses breakfast, so I think I'm in for a tough morning...

[Daisy17]

My DS at 2 is 9th centile for height and 50th for weight. There is no visible spare flesh on him. He's just made of solid stuff! DP is same, quite short, fit and lean, no one ever believes he can weigh as much as he does. Good for you for taking a look at diet and things, but I really wouldn't worry.

[WetGrass]

I found the snacks to be natural punctuation to the day (and this also meant that they weren't too frequent).

So a mid-morning 'break' (most toddler groups do this).

The afternoon snack is immediately after nap to ward off the grumps.

I discourage grazing.

[Sirzy]

If he refuses breakfast why not just wait until mid morning to give it to him unless you have to get out somewhere?

DS has been up since 6 but is only just having his breakfast now as I know he won't eat anything earlier.

[Daisy17]

Oh and my son never eats breakfast. Maybe some grapes. Weetabix and raisins at a push but not before 9am (he's up at 6).

[marriedinwhiteagain]

Mine are 18 and 15 now. DS was 25% height/75% weight for years and a solid little chap. He's 6'2" now, well built but slim. DD was always 90%+ for height and weight - at about 10 they were weighed and measured at school - given a slip of paper that they all shared and told she was fat. She's now 5'3" and a size 8-10.

Bears little correlation at the end of the day in my experience. Go on as you are - don't let your dc be publicly weighed - the centile charts are out of date and statistically incorrect anyway. Also, DD started her periods aged 10 and there is no allowance for early development - when I put in her height weight and age the BMI said obese - when I put in the same measurements with an age of 13 (in line with her development) it said normal. Further at about 11 dd was so upset by this that she stopped eating and dropped one stone - start of anorexia - we turned it round quickly because I have eagle eyes and a good GP and enough money get a private specialist referral within nano seconds.

Feed them well (the only thing I can suggest about your regime is that rather than all the pasta meals I might sometimes give a salmon fillet and veg or half a chicken breast), exercise them well and they will reach the height and weight they are destined for. Quit worrying and let them be - politely ask your hv if she could share her diet with you

[saintlyjimjams]

Ignore the HV - his diet sounds fine. If you're worried about teeth then swap some of the raisins etc or add in some extra teeth cleaning. The govt has a new initiative of shoving fluoride on every child's teeth at check ups (unless you refuse it as I do) anyway.

It's a healthy balanced diet. Children don't always match charts. Measurements aren't always accurate anyway. Ds1 was diagnosed with megacephaly when he was 2 & it took until he was 11 & a neurologist to point out that his head was a normal size (we'd been saying for years it was smaller than his brothers' heads). Until then it ended up on his notes & followed him without anyone actually looking and seeing what was in front of them if that makes sense.

I don't think you should be stressing about the weight of a toddler who doesn't look overweight. Interestingly my 3 children all eat very different amounts & they're all similar sizes.

[sleepcrisis]

He asks for breakfast incessantly from the money we get up, then won't eat it. Obv this drives me mad. Today ( and I know this is grazing and certainly not something I want to encourage) he had a very small cup of milk at 630, the fruit topping of his eggy bread at 730, and now he has sat down on the sofa watching his 20 mins of beebies, and eaten the rest of his whole banana and one soldiers worth of eggy bread. That's it now until snack time at 10am.

I am feeling a bit shit tbh, 3 days ago food was the last thing I would worry about.. I never ever let him eat on the sofa but today I just feel a bit worn down and it's only 830.

Think I'm going to try and forget this whole analysis of his fairly ok diet and just concentrate on no grazing and only two set snack times a day.

[Norfolknway]

I took my DD for her check last month and she's 80th for height and 70th for weight.

Neither me or anyone else could believe it, she looks so petite!! She is in 18-24 month (if not smaller) clothes! All of her T-shirts from her 1st birthday fit her still.

As long as he's happy and healthy, I wouldn't worry