Am I a bad friend?

[Rantingqueen]

Hi,

Am feeling soo stressed out at the moment!
I have 2 DD's aged nearly 4 and nearly 3. I am also 33 weeks pg with my next one. I have spinal problems, so find being pg is quite tough.

My problem is with a friend of mine. She has a 2 year old DS. Her husband works full time and she also works. DS is usually in nursery or with her mum. (I'm dont have a problem with that, it's her choice).

The problem is that she keeps asking me to look after her DS who is a handful at the best of times. And she wont take no for an answer. The other week she asked me to have him today, to which I said that I was sorry but wouldn't be able to do it. Well, today she just turned up and pushed her DS thro the door saying he's come to play. Fortunatly, I was doing some serious nesting and had stuff everywhere so I repeated that I could not have him. And she had to take him home again (she was intending to just leave him).

I feel like a cow but I just cant handle an extra child at the moment. My time is so precious with the girls and I am soo tired as it is (DH works away so am coping on my own).

The thing is she keeps heavily hinting that she wants me to have him reguarly. I know everyone is different but I personally would not ask someone in my position to look after my v.naughty child. And it is really stressing me out that she keeps asking me. I hate to let people down and have often been taken advantage of because i'm too soft.

I suppose this is just a general rant. But would really appreciate some feedback.

TIA

You aren't a cow and you have just taken the first major step in being assertive - successfully, well done . So it can only get easier.

I like the idea of reciprocating childcare to give you a rest, but I think she sounds too thick-skinned for it to work. I would be more inclined to put some distance betwen you and her. She sounds so totally insensitive and self-centred that it might not work and might make it harder to extricate yourself from her attentions.
I think I would go for cooling off the friendship for a while.

That's not the actions of a good friend Tia.She should be supporting you not relying on you..how bloody ridiculous.

You should be (as you say) having quality time with your daughters not making HER life easier! You aren't being a cow by any stretch of the imagination hun, you are an incredibly strong lady doing a wonderful job.

Just expain it is out of the question simple as that.I have to work and HATE leaving my 3 year old daughter.Any time not spent at work is devoted to her and thats how it should be..not dumping them off at any available opportunity.

It makes me SO bloody annoyed.You have a restful time now and stuff her!