I would like lots of people to come on this thread and tell me it's FINE that my 5yo isn't anywhere close to being dry at night

[oinkment]

It is fine isn't it?

I seem to be surrounded by 2 and 3 yr olds who are dry at night.

I don't see what on earth I can do to usher him in the right direction - if we leave the nappy off he wees by 11.00pm and doesn't wake up. If we change him.then he wees again before morning and sleeps so heavily he hasn't a clue.

Totally fine, totally normal

This is just what I needed.

I was starting to wonder if I was being slack, not doing anything about it (don't know quite what that would be).

A bit disheartened by the idea that if not close to dry by 5 then may well not be by 7 or 9!!

Loving the stories about all the 5 yr olds SUDDENLY dry.

My eldest is coming up to 6 years old and is almost never dry in the morning. We've tried not using pull ups but the bed was wet at least once a night. Lifting didn't work for him either. He desperately wants to be dry but he just does not wake up when he needs a wee! It's not a behavioural thing for him, it's physiological. I'll be going back to the GP in the next few weeks with him as it is starting to upset him (even though we are reassuring and encouraging), as his little brother who has just turned 3 is dry at night.

It is perfectly fine.

Ds1 became dry the summer between reception and year 1. He was 5 and a half. He tried to ditch the nappies when his baby brother was born a couple of months after he turned 5 but he really wasn't ready bless him.

Dd is 4 and a half, she will start reception in September and is nowhere near dry.

Both of them like yours, they do/did a big wee really early. We can limit drink with dinner and afterwards, make sure they do last wees before bed but until he was ready ds1 would always have done a big wee by 9.30pm and dd is exactly the same. We have hit the point with dd that we used to be at with ds1 that we have to lift them/change their nappy if we are too late for lifting otherwise they wee so much they leak and I have to change the bloody bed anyway!

Ds3 is almost 7 and dry 6 nights out of 7. A year ago he was wet every night. Fortunately it doesn't upset him. He will be dry in his own good time.

DS1 self toilet trained at night at the age of 3. Seriously. I thought he was a genius child, and that I was at the fire front of a parenting revolution.

Then along came DS2, DS3, DS4, and DD. Nowadays I am not quite so smug!

It's fine that your DS is not there yet :)

DS became finally dry at 5. It just suddenly happened. He decided that he didn't want to wear nappies in bed any more. I would take him for a wee right before bedtime and not give him any drinks. I used a layering system on the sheets with alternate layers of sheets and bedmats.
Before that point he had always been soaked in the mornings.

Take heart, the end is possibly near

My DP wasn't dry until he was 13... he's 18 now and (rarely) still has accidents during the night. Most of the time he wakes me up heading to the toilet during the night but sometimes he doesn't even wake up himself. It's just something he can't control.

My ds was 6 and a bit. We had tried a few tines, but didn't want to make him anxious (he wasn't, didn't seem bothered tbh, even when his 3yo brother got dry at night). I had spent hours trawling mumsnet and thinking it was the hormone thingy. It wasn't - I am quite sure it is in many cases but deffo not for him as I bought some 'rodger' pants and he was dry within 4 nights, that was 8 months ago and almost no trouble since then. I would sooo recommend trying some, just Google then or do a mumsnet search - the people they don't work for seem few and far between. I got them second hand on ebay (£40 to £50 as opposed to £100 new) and then sold them again about 2 months later when i was sure he wasn't going to regress. Worth a think. Though if it doesn't bother you or him then obvs it is not a problem abd I am sure dryness will come in time naturally. My ds kept getting quite bad balinitis and hasn't had it since going dry so I really needed to do something. I am a bit of an embarrassing evangelist for rodger pants though! Sorry!

Fine by me!

Ds is 9 and nearly, nearly dry at night. Dd was dry day & night at about 2.5 years. Nothing to do with my parenting, just the way the hormones worked.

2 of mine were dry at night well before 3 & the other 2 not until age almost 6-7+! I cannot see how I could have made them any different.

One of mine was 9. The other was 13, and was in despair. We had no help from health visitors or GPs, who virtually laughed us out of the surgery. It stopped almost overnight though, and hasn't been a problem since.

My god, the washing I've done over the years. There were many years when I had two complete sets of bedding, including duvets and pillows to wash. Several times I was on the verge of having to buy a second tumble drier to keep up.

We're all so glad that's over.

Yes - we went from every night total cannonball pajama pants to completely dry in a matter of weeks - at rising 7 - was very sudden. DS2 dry at 3 - they are different kids.

DD1 is 5 and we have just started to try. Its not going great, but now reading this thread Im not sure we should have waited a bit longer.

my ds2 is 6/12 still not dry at all but he does have sn :)

Totally totally fine.

Ds1 was 7& a bit. Ds2 was just turned 6. Ds3 was 4 but with sporadic accidents. All 3 went quite suddenly from soaking every morning to pretty reliably dry, it was v quick.

I'd google ERIC, their website is very reassuring.

Stop comparing him to these 2 and 3 yos you are hearing about!

My DD was effortless to potty train at 2.4 and night dry by 3, and I was, tbh pretty smug.

Then at 4.6 she started bedwetting. For a year, 6 nights out of 7, occassionally twice a night. I think it was pre-school anxiety as it gradually tailed off once she was at primary and now at 8 we've had maybe 2 accidents in 18 months.

It sounds like you LO is just a deep sleeper and his body's cues aren't quite strong enough to wake him just yet. A child has to be 7 or 8 before a GP considers it enough of an issue to refer to an eneuresis clinic so it's obviously completely normal.

ds1, and dd dry at night at 3, ds2 still not reliable at 6.

Its a hormonal thing. Its not something you can teach them

DD1 was 7.5 and we were really worried, but she cracked it eventually.

DD2 was 2.5. We did nothing differently with her.

DD 6.8 still in sodden drynites, wets 2/3 times a night. DS 4.6, dry from 2.5 but has been wetting at night for last 6/7 mths. Normal!
I think there are many many more than you might think who are still wet quite 'late' as this thread attests but it's something that people are too embarrassed to discuss. DD wants to be dry now and so we've agreed to go and get some help from the GP if she's still not dry by 7.
ERIC are very helpful.

I have twins-dstwin dry at 2 1/2 shortly after being dry in day. Ddtwin still not dry at 8. However, I wasn't dry until I was 8ish and neither were any of my Mum's 6 brothers-so I think it's genetic. My mum never let me worry about it, despite the fact that I fall asleep anywhere, so would wet in the car and so forth! Hopefully dd isn't worried about it, she slept through the bed wet alarm that a friend loaned us. Will try loading her with drinks, but I think it's just a matter of time.

Sydney - I think it was on the ERIC website I found something about CBT and using 'positive affirmations' with older children.

We used to do deep breaths and repeat phrases such as 'I am the boss of my bladder' 'I will wake up if I need a wee' 'I will have a dry bed in the morning'.

I totally appreciate that it sounds completely and utterly bonkers a bit 'woo' but it worked really well for us, and DD went from wetting almost every night to once or twice a week within a month.

Btw the school nurse told me that in the average infant school class there will be 5 or 6 children who aren't dry at night - which is quite a high % really, isn't it?

Weirdly since I posted a reply up there ^^ DS has had 6 in a row dry pull ups! :)