I have just walked out of a supermarket, for the first time EVER.

[PavlovtheCat]

DD is 6. DD, while not an angel and can be a right pain in supermarkets, has never pushed me to the point of walking out and leaving my shopping.

DS, aged 3, now has. He fell asleep in the car on route to replacing broken tree lights at B&Q at 5pm. woke and had a meltdown because he was hungry. Kids ate in the cafe, although he did not really eat as it was Not Right.

He was a little sod. I was in sainsburys for them to pick a decoration each for the tree, buy mince pies so we could have them with hot chocolate after putting new lights on the tree and adding our new decorations. I also needed to buy eggs and bread to make sarnies for DSs nursery party tomorrow.

He refused to follow me. He would only come if I squatted down with my arms out, cute the first time, not the 10th. He just stood where he was and would not come, or he would wander off. He won't sit in the trolley, I don't even bother trying that one any more.

He then promised to be good and behaved himself, so they got to pick their decoration. All decorations reduced by half price so I picked a few for my myself (£1 each!) and got the children some little christmas bears and a Santa Stop Here Sign.

Then, DS plonked himself down on the floor bashing his little bells on the floor, and I kept having to drag him/carry him/squat down just to get him moving with me. It was torture.

But, I was not going to be beaten, I just needed eggs, mince pies and bread. Which was right at the other end of the store. Next thing I know DS is running in the opposite direction jingling his little bells and laughing.

Now. I left work early today due to increased back pain. I should not really have attempted a supermarket in my state, but I wanted the tree done as the lights have been broken for days, and I promised DD and DS new decorations each.

So, I couldn't run after him, he ran around and across long aisles, not far from the door and I could not keep up with him. I finally grabbed him, and I was so bloody cross I abandoned the entire shopping, took his bell from his hand and carried him, hobbling out of the shop.

On the journey home I have had both children in floods of tears. DS promised not to run away ever ever again and they both tried to persuade me to drive back. I refused.

I am still very cross. DS is still being a pain, DD is upset as she lost her treat although I promised I would try to go back tomorrow for her. Unlikely there will be anything left though.

And, to top it off my back is now screaming in pain and both the children are demanding 'mama!' 'mama!' 'can I have a drink? can we watch tv? can I watch thomas? please? I want! I want! I want! MAMA!!!'

I am absolutely not going shopping with my DS again for a long time. His behaviour is appalling right now.

Ok, I think it's all out.

oh, and we are not having any mince pies or hot chocolate as I did not buy the mince pies, there is no food for DS party tomorrow, and the lights were plonked on the tree unceremoniously with me in a grump and the children not giving much of a toss anyway.

And because DS slept in the car, I am going to have to put up with this appalling behaviour for god knows how much longer, there is no way he will go to sleep now.

oh god, you have ALL my sympathy - DS (3) decided to be THAT child (also in Sainsburys - maybe it's all the orange?) and flung himself on the ground, SCREAMING 'I WANT CHOCOLATE BUTTONS NOW!' and beating his feet on the ground - so I picked him up to cuddle him and ask what's wrong, and he punched me in the face. So I dropped him, stepped over him, paid for my shopping, then marched him out of the shop, him screaming at me the whole way.

why are 3 year olds so DIFFICULT?!

I have no advice but just wanted to say that I feel for you - my 18 month daughter is starting to be a real painaim shops. I can see I will have to give up shopping in a supermarket and do it online!

Put them to bed and have a !

*pain in, not painaim!

Ah poor you. But your ds was tired and hungry. A recipe for disaster. I'd have given him snacks to keep him quiet until out of there.

kvet I am floored by it to be honest. DD was not like this. She was more difficult at 4, more argumentative tantrums, not this tantrumming and absolute refusal to do what they are told.

Or, you know when a biscuit breaks and you can't fix it, and the other biscuit won't do, only that one that is broken but has to be not broken? that, but with every single little thing.

iggly oh I tried! He was offered lots of things while in the cafe and I took some snacks around with me, he did not want any of it. He simply refused.

The best solution was not to have done it at all. And I thought it was essential. In actual fact, it was not, I am just going to be bad mummy for DD and for the nursery. But, should have been that mummy without this messing my back up and becoming very cross.

Actually I'd have given ds my phone to watch bad mummy emoticon.

Pav it's weird, some friends with 3 year olds spend any time with me going 'but you're so strict with him' and watching him just flinging himself around the place stropping. He can be well rested, well fed, and still strop because the sky is too grey, or there is a dog across the road and he doesn't want to see it

I am hoping DD is easier - she's 6 months old, and just beams and chuckles the whole time - at the same age, he looked like the red angry bird, just one constant frown of fury.

It does get better, right?!

I don't see what more you could have done, in the circumstances - and I don't blame you for being cross - not one bit. Now - go and take some painkillers for your back, and have a rest.

Kvetnuts - it does get better, I promise. My dses are now 15. 17 and 19, and I can safely leave them at home whilst I swan round the supermarket on my own, smiling comfortingly at fraught parents whose toddlers are kicking off.

iggy I would have done that but battery was dead, I get good signal in sainsbos and put on thomas on youtube for him!

Lesson for next time - make sure phone is always charged

kvet DD is lovely in the supermarket when it is just me and her, I mean yes she was sometimes a pain when younger, but it just seemed so much easier with her. Maybe it was because there was only one child, but she was not really any trouble today, other than the constant 'can I have?' at all the toys everywhere she looks, but I expected that. DS was not even demanding things, he was just not playing ball.

And yes that sounds just like him, if a certain tinsy little thing is not right, it is ALL ruined. He even refused some little cheesey nibble things and he wanted them at first, but because I actually 'offered' them rather than leave them on the table for him to get, it was ruined, he could not have them any more, and they could not go back and start again. I needed to leave the cafe and go through it all again for him to be happy. Yeah Right.

Sounds exactly like my little boy. I had to carry mine fireman's lift style through my local shopping area whilst pushing my pram. He went on a protest in the Bakers cos I got the wrong shaped cake [Hmm].

Have a nice cuppa tea and try cherish the fact you have a healthy little --devil angel /

The good thing about it all, is that he did not want the pasta I bought him, so I ate it don't need to cook for me.

I am in a dilemma for painkillers. DH is working so can't take too much otherwise I would take (my last) diazepam, that would sort it all out lovely and I would get to sleep

Are you tucked up comfortably on the couch, mumsnetting? >

addicted he can be such an angel though, and he knows it. If it weren't for me being so bloody cross I would have considered turning back when he sobbed his little heart out in the car 'i am thoooo thorry mama, thoreee, i didn't mean to, I won't run away again, ever ever, i promith! pleath mama, I just want my thpecial little treat back' he almost got me. [heartless mother emoticon]

On the couch? in the same room as my DS?! oh no! I have told them I need 5 mins to myself, I am lying on my bed while they watch dispicable me for 10 mins appear to be fighting before I attempt getting them into bed. Bedtime routine has thoroughly gone out of the window. Today I have given up.

OP if you haven't seen it before search for the 'cutted up pear' thread in MN Classics and that will cheer you up!

On the bed = even better than on the couch. Hopefully all the stropping and fighting will have tired them out so they fall asleep fast, and you can have custody of the couch and the remote.

I feel quite sad about the sarnies tomorrow. I was going to make special egg mayo ones, for the adults there on request! I have promised them, so I will probably have to get up ultra early and get to the shops so they have them as promised.

DD is tired. She is in bed now, but not asleep. DS, not looking tired at all. I will start the process of bedtime in a moment, but right now he is bouncing over me and trashing the bed.

OK, time for his bed now, he has just deliberately headbutted me in the ribs as I won't move over for him.

DS kicked me in the mouth today when I was getting him dressed - spent some quality time 'reflecting' on his actions in his room so I didn't throttle him.

I really am not cut out to be his mum....