Dp thinks 2 yo has a 'syndrome', I think he's just a 2 yo - opinions please

[bluesmile10]

My ds is just coming up for 2.5. He is absolutely gorgeous, funny and bright as well as very strong willed, determined and quite often (at the moment) stroppy!!!

For some time now he has been a real mummy's boy - won't let daddy do anything if I'm around. It's not a problem if I'm not with them! I have recently gone back to work full time and he is doing more time at nursery and obviously more time away from me and his dad. He gets very tired at the end of the day and everything seems to become "mummy do it", even reaching for his drink which genus closest to. My refusal will often end in a meltdown until I distract him or he realises that I'm not going to do it!
He is becoming more and more "independent" about doing certain things - things which I have no problem including him in to help eg getting breakfast cereal ready etc, but them if for some reason he can't do those things he has been doing he has a paddy!

My dp is now convinced he has a "syndrome" - when pushed on what syndrome, he has no reply. His theory based on the above behaviours and others including ds absolute love of hoovers!!!! Will spot one anywhere and want to use it! A fear of smoke alarms - one went off in the summer whilst we were in holiday and about 8 weeks ago at home due to burnt toast - he says at least twice a day "no like smoke alarms!!". He also "obsesses " as dp says about things like certain bits of food. Recently dropped piece of sausage in the floor and had paddy because we wouldn't let him eat it and was adamant he didn't want any other piece!!!!

I'm sorry this is so long winded, but I'm so cross with dp who now keeps saying this in front of family and friends, whereas i just think he's a 2 yo who is trying to push boundaries, control things (and is in process of learning that he can't always!). Yes, he does moan and winge quite a lot in the evening but he is tired, from being a terrible sleeper and having long days at nursery!

What do you think! Is dp over reacting (which is what I think) or am I missing something?

He sounds very similar to my eldest son. He is now a very bright, sociable, thriving 8 year old.

Sounds completely normal to me.

sounds infuriatingly normal to me
i have something similar at home myself

I have a 2.2 year old. He is totally unreasonable, doesn't sleep through, has to stop and examine every stone he sees and put the right ones in his pocket, tantrums about all manner of ridiculous things (wrong colour plate/too much juice/daddy out a hat on). All very normal if you ask me!

sounds just like my 3 year old daughter who has been like this since about 2

Normal 2 year old.

Sounds like my ds1 when he was 2, especially the mummy's boy bit.

He's preparing you for the 3's

You might want to warn your dh

DD (2.3) has suddenly turned really clingy with me and only her brother will do if I can't deal with her (thank goodness or i wouldn't be able to shower!)

i think it is a phase that they go through at this age. they are starting to become more independent but that is quite scary so they crave the security of their primary carer

Boysboysboysandme - dp is so going to love that!!! he has no patience with ds now!!!

Thank you all - I was fairly sure but dp going on about it so much - i thought I'd get some valuable opinions that I can thrust under his nose!!!!

Classic case of Toddler Syndrome. Most children outgrow it.

Also, Toddler Taming by Dr Green is brilliant.

Has loads of tips, information etc about what's normal, what to expect, how to handle toddlers, when to worry, when not to etc.

Really good book.

dp has a case Unrealistic Dad syndrome
he was expecting a fictional child who sweetly smiled and giggled and obeyed his every command
he needs to spend more time with 2 year olds
have at least 3 more babies, that should cure him

your ds sounds completely normal
I suggest he gets that from his mum

My son (2.2) only talks about getting the train and Peppa Pig. He has no interest in anything else. It is quite hard work - we read Peppa books (about nine or ten a day), he can spot a Peppa Magazine in any shop, he will always choose his Peppa pyjamas to wear for an outfit. He shuffles his Peppa Pig DVDs and hugs them each night, looking lovingly and stroking each one in turn. Obsessed doesn't come close.

If he drops anything from his spoon, he shouts "wipes" at me in a commanding voice and can't continue eating until he has thoroughly scrubbed it off.

In short, he's bonkers. He also seems pretty normal judging by my toddler experience.

Normal 2 year old! My dh has a habit of over analysing our kids as well . I wish he would just chill out. :)

Dh did this too. DD was a completely normal 2and 3 year old. Had a couple of tantrums, and pushed boundaries all over the place (we were always bumping into them!).

Anyway, due to my job, I knew the name and place of work of a renowned paediatrician who saw people privately. I gave dh the information and told him to organise something;I told him I wouldn't do anything aboutmaking an appointment as I completely disagreed with him, and would far too embarrassed to waste the time of a highly skilled professional

Left to himself, he didn't manage to pick the phone up, so dd carried on being normal and dh learnt that in comparison with some other children the same age, we were getting off lightly.

Very normal!

Sounds normal. When my oldest was 2 his obsession was car washes (his car is bloody filthy now). Think your DH needs a quick reality check slap.

Jux - I love that!! It's exactly what my DH is like and the outcome would've been the same. I might employ that technique with all issues!
OP - your DS sounds normal.

My 2 yo DS is also OBSESSED with hoovers. He calls them Wah-wahs and they are venerated above all other objects. He says goodbye to his Hoover when we leave the house and tells it he's back when we return. He spills things on purpose so that we can get the Wah-wah out. I got a firm telling off when i once dared to rest by foot on said wah-wah. There is a novel on a high shelf in our spare room with a picture of a woman hoovering on it and it is the only thing he wants to play with when we go in that room. Bonkers, adorable and (god, I hope, normal).

Could be an almost word for word description of DD (2.4). But you make no mention of irrational changing of mind or insistence on "do things myself" when it's something tricky (eg pouring a drink) but "mummy do it" when it's easy (eg putting on wellies).... Grrrrrrrr!

I agree with all the common sense on here, your DS sounds lile the majority of NT toddlers and you sound like a woman with her head screwed on right.
I have a teenager with a syndrome.
You might want to point out to your DP that if he's right and your DS is on the spectrum, the way of dealing with it is endless patience and consistency, along with proactive parenting when they are small, not getting stroppy, yelling or blaming you for any problems.
It will work as a parenting strategy for an NT 2 year old as well.

Totally normal. DH thinks there's something wrong with DS aged 2.10 because he doesn't do as he is told He's definitely never been around any toddlers!

Rubyroo and BR44 love both your posts :o
My DS is only 21 months but all he talks about is cars/fire engines (nee-naws) and the dogs (woo-woos). Although he is partial to a good Hoover too.

They call it the Terrible Twos after all.

For a laugh, you might like The Honest Toddler

Sounds normal. Ds was a real mummys boy at 2, would not let daddy do anything. Now at 4 is perfectly happy for daddy to bath him etc. My 2yo sounds similar to yours, has right paddies over seemingly insignificant things, wrong cup, wrong socks, too many peas, not enough cereal. It's endless Haha. I don't think you have anything to worry about op.