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[Scheherezade]

10mo DS just wants me to hold him and walk round constantly. Every day is a battle. I can't cook because he just pulls at my legs and SCREAMS. I've tried toys, stuff from the kitchen to play with. He doesn't even want me to sit down and cuddle or read a book, I have to walk round.

At my wits end, just shouted at him.

Iggly, theres a difference to not giving a baby a cuddle, and days where he literally just wants to be held 24 hours solid- I.e. he's crying because he's hungry, but I can't feed him, because he won't let me put him in highchair. Or, I need to make a bottle, which involves handling boiling water, but I can't, because he won't be put down. At all. It's physically impossible to cuddle 24 hours a day, I need to make food/bottles, get dressed, go to the toilet, dress him, feed him, change his nappy. Are you seriously suggesting I leave him cold, hungry and tired?!

No- because its not about a baby that wants an occasional cuddle, its about a baby that wants me to pick him up and walk around (as he screams blue murder if I dare sit down or stop whilst holding him) all day long.

Yes, he's much better out the house, will try be out as much as possible. Too young to understand commands, not walking yet. Won't play with pots/kitchen paraphenalia, have tried :( but he's not always like it, probably is worse with teething, will keep up the calpol/ nurofen.

Migrating- I did consider finding my iPod!

It's ok mrsmorgy you're talking sense :) just nice to know someone is hearing me and understanding how hard it is!

Read my post - I said indulge your baby, give cuddles and put baby down where you need to.

I have two, one is coming up to 9 months and does this already. I don't spend all day cuddling her, not possible with a toddler in tow. But I do cuddle her when she grumbles, even for a second then tell her I've got to do x/y/z as opposed to adopting an approach that somehow I'm being manipulated and must not give in and give her a cuddle for fear she'll be asking for one for the rest of her life.

Oh and if anything, she's worse than her older brother - I suspect it's because I can't pick her up all the time so she "shouts" at me if I ignore her more polite requests

With ds I was responsive more quickly and he was more chilled. Now as a toddler, he knows that screaming gets nothing so it hasn't backfired.

I'm not going to be made to feel guilty for the approach which I took- it worked. And FYI, I give DS plenty of cuddles, I love him to death, why wouldn't I?!
I guess the moral to this story (like I said at the beginning!) is that all children are different and respond in different ways.
Over and out x

Have you tried sitting him on the kitchen counter when you are doing stuff in the kitchen? Obviously don't leave him there unattended....

Wallace, he just lunges at me! He does get cuddles, the whole point of this post, if you read the OP, was that I do nothing but cuddle and hold him, 24/7, its quite upsetting for someone to say just hold him.

Earlier you suggested going out. Well we are booked into a baby signing class this morning and need to leave the house at 9.30, but I doubt we'll make it, as if I follow the "don't ignore him, cuddle him" guilt fest, I won't be able to get dressed, make breakfast, pack a lunch or prepare a bottle. I'm writing this holding him as he wouldn't let me put him down to get dressed.

scheherezade you know what you need to do. Bollocks to those who play the guilt card. It is not practical to carry a baby around 24/7 for fear of them screaming if you put them down.
Put him in his cot, where you know he can come to no harm, and leave him to it whilst you do what you need to do. It is horrible to listen to but there comes a point where you've got no bloody choice! You have my full sympathy

He's at it again. Options are either ignore him, power through, do days planned activities; baby signing, library, park and first dentist apmt. Or, don't ignore him, give up and stay inside all day. Option 2 has been done before, led to severe PND, and I was detained in a mother and baby psychiatric ward for 5 months.

Nowhere did I say pick him up constantly

Pick him up, cuddle, tell him you've got to do x/y/z and reassure him with your voice. "it's alright DD, mummy's coming" is a constant phrase in my house, so much so that DS repeats it as soon as DD grumbles.

I was responding to those who were saying to just leave them and they'll get the message that if they grumble, they don't get cuddles.

Also to throw a curve ball - could he be tired? Has he had a morning nap? Dd is terrible when tired.

Sorry, perhaps you misread the OP. I wasn't asking for advice on how often to cuddle him, I'm happy to hold/cuddle/have naps together 23 hours a day. But I do need to eat, dress, toilet (we both do). You originally said not to ignore (that 1 sum hour of the day that I can't hold him) and he's "only been around a mere 10 months..he needs his mum more".

He can't get more of me, he has me, holding, cuddling, lying down with him, carrying him one handed with pram and bags in the other, 99% of the time. I've taken to lying in bed with him for his naps if we're at home. I literally can't get anything done. Layering on the guilt that I can't ignore him, I should give everything else.up and condemn us to a life of pacing round the house, makes me feel much worse.

It's like when people condemn cc, sometimes I HAVE to leave him to cry. Because he has a dirty nappy, or I need to make a bottle, get him/me dressed. I avoid CC threads now, because people who are "anti" it don't understand what its like to have a baby who needs to be held with no breaks at all

Anyway, I ignored his screaming this morning so I could dress us both, make breakfast, prepare a lunch and bottle for out. He ended up having a great time! Bus is better for us as he only screams in the car seat to be held.

He was like this at 5mo, only I cracked and couldn't take it anymore. So now when he's bad it brings all bad memories and feelings rushing back. Even ward staff said they had never worked with a baby as challenging as him- some have been there 20 years!

I'm sure my mum friends are fed up of hearing it, so just need a place to rant.

He goes to sleep at 7.30, wakes 6.30, generally sleeps through. Complaining this morning started instantly. Not tiredness.

Maybe I am not understanding correctly, but if he likes to be walked around isn't he trying to get walking / mobile ? I was wondering if a push walker like the plastic vtech ones would be good for him or if you could create a path for him to hold and cruise around with sofa/chairs etc.

It's just what struck me after reading.

You sound like you're having a tough time, and you're right, you can't possibly hold him anymore than you do! I would have thought carrying him in a sling may stop him crying but not really 'solve' the problem. Perhaps ignore his cries a little at a time so he can build his own confidence??? Good luck, don't be disheartened xx

I remember only too well what it's like to have a baby who demands to be attached to you 24/7 and that baby is now 15!

I can also remember people giving me advice like she'd be ok as long as she could see me so put her in her bouncy chair next to me while I hung out the washing. Nobody seemed to get that it didn't matter whether she could still see me, hear me or even touch me - she screamed if I wasn't holding her. Anything I needed two hands for had to be done as quickly as possible with a screaming accompaniment.

However I was lucky. She didn't mind me sitting down.

You are clearly giving him everything you can and some that you can't sustain. Try not to feel guilty about putting him down when you really have to. He has the right to cuddles and comfort but you still need to do essential jobs and attend to your own basic needs. That includes sitting down now and then. Nobody should make you feel guilty about that.

There will come a time when he stops screaming when you sit down and another one when he stops screaming when you put him down. In the meantime decide what you have to do and do it. You won't leave him crying for any longer than necessary and as he gets older he will eventually learn that screaming doesn't make you pick him up any sooner.

Just hang on to the fact that this won't last forever.

Have you ever tried one of those baby swings on a frame? It may be that the regular movement of a swing could mimic the sensation he gets from your walking enough to pacify him for a while.

I was more responding to people thinking that it was a battle of wills and you shouldn't "give in" to baby for making "demands" as such. That's what I didn't agree with - the idea that a little baby was somehow trying to manipulate the situation and want too many cuddles.

I was trying to say you can acknowledge they want a cuddle but put them down - more for you so you know you've cuddled and done what you can and you will be back.

I know it's a nightmare. I remember ds doing this (and dd was at it again today), so I do my best to reassure then get on with it. I ended up turning DS's pushchair to be facing outwards as when he saw me, he'd grumble

I'm going to leave the thread now - I'm not one for being very clear sometimes as I don't type down everything in my head so the message doesn't get through.

Good luck OP - getting out of the house saved my sanity when I had borderline PND with both.

Yes, a baby swing frame in the room you're in sounds like a good idea. It's worth a go?

DS was like this until he could walk and now happily toddles around as I cook. I found a pot on the floor and a wooden spoon to be a good distraction. And I meal planned lazy dinners that required very little in the way of prep. I also found that if he was really clingy it was often the precursor to him getting a cold or virus or maybe cutting a tooth. Again, i put him in the ring sling (and he is 98th centile) and pootled around with him. It does pass but you have my sympathies.

Thank you Timandra you're right, the best hope for me is that it won't last forever, and also that I do love my cuddly little baby now stage right now, so to make the most of it whilst I can. If that makes sense.

He's too big for baby seats/swings, he's almost walking now - he's 91st centile, about the size of an average 1yo! I couldn't afford to buy a swing in case I couldn't use it. It's just time and patience and lots of moaning on MN I think.

It's interesting you say that apollo - he has a temp now and teething....