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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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46 replies

Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 16:42

10mo DS just wants me to hold him and walk round constantly. Every day is a battle. I can't cook because he just pulls at my legs and SCREAMS. I've tried toys, stuff from the kitchen to play with. He doesn't even want me to sit down and cuddle or read a book, I have to walk round.

At my wits end, just shouted at him.

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puds11 · 21/08/2012 16:47

Stop doing it. You will have to put up with screams of protest, but it wont last long (couple of days)

mrsmorgy · 21/08/2012 16:54

Completely agree with puds, you're making a rod for your own back by giving in to him!
Good luck!!

Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 16:55

I don't, every day I cook/wash up/make bottles/go to the toilet to a soundtrack of hysterics. He got better for a bit when he could crawl but now he just stands up holding onto my legs and screams. He's doing it now, he's happy as soon as he's picked up, but making himself hoarse because I'm trying to chop carrots.

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Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 16:58

Sorry, just needed to write it down so I have something to concentrate on/ somewhere to rant.

Why does it have to be so bloody hard.

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Piggyleroux · 21/08/2012 17:16

I had this with ds. Get a sling, put him in it and you'll have your hands free. Your not making a rod for your own back, 10 months is really little still x

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 21/08/2012 17:29

Are you sure he's not going through a development leap? Check the wonder weeks website just in case. DS is still like this at times but nowhere near as much as he was at 10 months. I think the thing to do is build up the time you spend 'doing stuff' so they get used to it a bit at a time. Someone described it to me once as 'teaching an imagination' - you can't expect a baby to be able to entertain themselves without being taught IYSWIM.

It WILL get better, I say that as the mum of a high needs toddler who still has days where he has to be ON me or sitting in the exact spot I'm in/being held or screams/breaks down or whinges constantly (we also now have doing 'naughty' things manically because he knows it'll get attention) but the times that he can play by himself are increasing slowly.

Best of luck :)

mrsmorgy · 21/08/2012 17:32

It will get easier! I sound like a right hard-faced cow by saying you're making a rod for your own back but that's my opinion. I guess I was lucky with DS. Had 3-4 days of protest but then he got the message. Some kids need more reassurance than others.
Best of luck x

Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 18:45

Thanks for the advice. I will try.

He's wayyyy too big for a sling, he's huge!

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NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 21/08/2012 19:28

If you do want to try a sling I still carry DS in an ergo on my back (at 32 weeks pregnant) - he's 98th centile for height and over 2 stone and it's no trouble for 30 mins or so at a time

Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 22:39

I'll look into that :) a normal front sling, I'd have to drape his legs over my shoulders! I did look at a hip seat, but that doesn't free up your hands, so seems a little pointless

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Scheherezade · 21/08/2012 22:41

I have a baby Bjorn, is he too big for that?

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bigkidsdidit · 21/08/2012 22:43

Mine was like this at 10-12 months, it was killer. He stopped it though when he could walk - does yours?

I carry him still in a babyhawk, he is 95h centile at 19mo so it is perfectly possible :)

You have me sympathies. Of all the phases newborn to now I find this hanging onto legs whining quite the hardest to deal woth

bigkidsdidit · 21/08/2012 22:43

Sorry for typos, wine has been had Grin

k2togm1 · 21/08/2012 23:17

Ignoring him is not what he needs, so definetly get a structured carrier (ergo or similar) and get him on your back. I have a 17mo old who was incredibly clingy at that age and still is at times, an always always the solution is to carry him in the sling. Mine is a toddler patapum, just brilliant!

Scheherezade · 22/08/2012 19:11

Trouble is, how is a back carrier or sling going to work when its a morning and I'm getting dressed, or going to the toilet? He can't be in one 24/7, he needs to be moving around, crawling and continuing learning to walk.

I think its mostly my attitude/patience that needs work, I need to learn to cope better. I've already mastered putting skinny jeans on one handed....

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bigkidsdidit · 22/08/2012 19:41

I did a bit of all. Sling when he was really sad, a but I getting on the floor playing, a bit of holding him while doing up jeans with one hand, a bit of leaving him to cry (while I pooed or similar Grin )

It is a short period and it will pass, just do anything you can!

spanky2 · 22/08/2012 19:47

I know you are meant to ignore, rod for back etc... I couldn't stand the noise. Both dss were the same. Yes I did stick them in the travel cot when hoovering, for safety. I got a bouncy thing that hangs from the door, like a standing hammock that bounces up and down. As George Michael would sy Freedom! It will pass and you will be like me and think oh yeah I remember that, but not fun when you are still in that phase.

Iggly · 22/08/2012 19:50

You're not meant to ignore. Rod for your own back is right bollocks. A baby that's been around for a mere 10 months needs his mum a bit more?

Give your baby reassurance, get down to their level, indulge them a bit. Yes there will be times you need to put them down but you can make up for it immediately afterwards. Also take baby out a lot during this phase!

bigkidsdidit · 22/08/2012 19:59

Completely agree Iggly

DS is clingy at home but not at the park!

newmum001 · 22/08/2012 20:02

This might sound completely ridiculous but does he have enough understanding to 'help' you. Eg please can you get mummys hairbrush while i put my jeans on, please can you hold mummy socks while i put my top on, please can you hold onto this carrot until mummy needs it etc with loads of praise (you're a very clever boy, what an important job you're doing) I have to do this with dd sometimes if she's clingy but shes nearly 2 and has a good understanding of what im saying. I really feel for you. Dd was similar when she was younger and still has her moments. It is so hard.

butterfingerz · 22/08/2012 20:25

My 15 month old DS is like this, it's getting better slowly. It helps that I've got a nearly 4 yr old DD so she often distracts him. Distraction is my main technique really, if I'm trying to cook, I open the pots + pans cupboard and he pulls them all out and bashes them with a wooden spoon. Or put him in his highchair with some snacks, he can still see what you're doing , food is always a good distraction. It'll get better when he's more mobile. I would have liked a new carrier but just don't have the money for it only to be used for such a small while.

k2togm1 · 22/08/2012 20:55

Oh gosh of course it's absolutely impossible to carry them 24/7. But what I found is that a little carrying here and there takes away some clinginess and they are more likely to enjoy floor time on their own. Ds still get suddenly upset, often related to teething but also if I've been using the pram all the time, then I try to do little trips with the sling and it really makes a huge difference.
Pots and pans are great too as has been said.
It gets soooo much better, ds is now 17mo, and he was such hard work as a baby, I thought 10 months was good, but just wait till 16+, it's lovely.

mrsmorgy · 22/08/2012 20:58

Rod for your own back is not "right bollocks"- 10 months of age is not too young for a baby to understand the concept of 'if I behave in a certain way, I get a certain reaction back' ie 'if I scream the house down, I get picked up'
Sorry but I feel that iggly comment is a direct hit at me as I'm the one who said 'rod for your own back' originally. Everyone has their own way of doing things and OP has asked for opinions/suggestions. All I was doing is expressing mine.
Rant over Angry

MigratingCoconuts · 22/08/2012 21:04

Earplugs.

Iggly · 22/08/2012 22:48

I think it is. It's a phrase I hear all the times and think it's sad to take that approach to giving a baby a cuddle.