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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

5 Year Old DS UnCordinated

29 replies

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 07:52

I was would like some perspective on my DS5 please.

He was born by induction for being a few days over due and my Hyperemesis, normal delivery. He was a very bad sleeper, awake every hour through the night and at 18 months was referred to our local hospital for this and for behavioural problems, i.e, anger, not eating well, needing constant supervision as he would do dangerous thing, (like other toddlers I know, but put with the other things....), very clingy, etc. At the time they did various tests and gave us some medication to try to get him to sleep in longer patterns - which didn't work. At the time they also expressed concern for his behavior but decided to see how he developed.

Fast forward to now.... He wakes at 6.30 after going to sleep at 10pm. we put him to bed at 7pm, but he messes around, comes up and down to us, talking to us asking questions, asking for food and drink, etc.

He constantly asks questions, i.e, we drove back from Bristol Balloon Festival on Saturday and half way home he asks what's amnesia mum? He has been put on the gifted & talented register at school, if this is relevant?

He still a rubbish eater and is under the school nurse for his weight.

The holidays have been a nightmare and have brought things to a head I suppose, he will not stop whinging, he must say "It's not fair" at least 100 times a day, everyone in the family are so worn down with him, he acts like a 2 year old most of the time, loudly demanding things, stamping his feet and throwing things if he doesn't get his way - but then holds a conversation with you that you would expect an adult to have with you, like is there life on Mars, and how he would build his own rocket?

I'm really asking if anyone thinks I need to get him seen by the Dr's again or if he is pretty normal? I have many family members asking me to take him, giving me their opinion, but I don't want him labeled for life if he is just by nature a "difficult" child, which he certainly has been up to know.

P.S I have 4 DC, DD16, High achiever, DD12 - High achiever, DS10 - mr arty as we call him, very sensitive and DS5.

OP posts:

TanteRose · 14/08/2012 07:56

how is he uncoordinated?

he sounds like a normal, very curious, and probably fairly intelligent 5 year old who gets bored easily

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 07:57

I didn't add the uncoordinated bit

He literally walks into doors, trips over fresh air, I was asked by the school a couple of weeks ago about the bruises on his legs, to which I was mortified.

He just laughs it off but my mum called my yesterday expressing concern and saying I should think about making him an appointment for the Dr's with regards to this as well, it doesn't help that he's so skinny every time he falls over he gets a bruise as he's just banging the bones really there's no cushion on him

Its a bit long sorry x

OP posts:

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 07:58

TanteRose - Sorry I got carried away with the other things I have now posted about his cordination.

OP posts:

FannyFifer · 14/08/2012 08:01

Maybe google Dyspraxia and see if it sounds similar.

TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:01

again, falling over air, and legs covered in bruises is not really out of the ordinary. My DS was the same - black and blue from the knee down

I think you are over thinking this, but if you are really worried, you should see your GP

TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:05

does he do any sports?

it helped my DS when he started doing sports, made him focus his body a bit more

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:11

That's what I'm thinking TanteRose, but I'm getting worn down with him to be honest and I can see how others would be worried, no one will look after him for us as he's such hard work, I can't do the simplest of things or the quickest without him doing something he shouldn't do or helping himself to rubbish food out of the fridge despite me telling him over and over again not to.

I have to get one of my DD to watch him if I go to the loo FGS.

The festival was a nightmare to be honest he ruined it for everyone, he constantly played up and moaned and whinged the whole time, "why are we just sitting here" - "this is ridiculous and boring" - "when can we go home"

He seems to want to do these things but as soon as we get there he behaves terrible and he just wants to go home.

Thanks FannyFifer - I've had a quick look at wiki, but it doesn't seem to apply to him in the whole, hes good at writing and remembering things, it just the constant need to be entertained, pandered to, the coordination problems, the eating problems, 5 years of it and its beginning to wear us down.

Every milestone and we all, wider family as well would say oh he'll be ok now, he can, sit up, then crawl, then walk, then talk, but nope it doesn't ever seem to get easier.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:13

He does do sport, but he's not brilliant at it to be honest I've paid for 3 cycles of swimming lessons, hes on week 5 of his 3rd cycle and he still can't swim, I'm thinking of not paying again and giving up.

BUT he's just learn to ride his bike without the stabilizers and tie his shoe laces as well.

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TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:18

you sound exhausted

it IS exhausting, of course (my DS sounds a bit like yours - he is now 13 and started to get easier at about age 10...sorry, seems like ages away for you, I'm sure)

how about you DO take him home every time he starts whinging etc.?

How is he at school? or does he start this Sept?

Also, you need to get a lock for the fridge

again, is there a sports club he can attend?

TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:20

sorry, cross posted

its early days with the swimming to be honest...

if he isn't so interested in sport, how about a science based club? something that will hold his interest?

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:24

I am tired, but I think I'm his champion if that sounds right, every one else concentrates on the negatives,

"oh isn't he hard work", "does he ever stop talking", "why won't he go off and play"

Because he won't he'd rather talk to you that why!! Argh sorry but people are starting to annoy me and I think I'll be upsetting some family members very soon

He started school last September he's going into year 1 this September. I think I'll accept a place for him on every after school club offered - I think that's part of the problem - trying to keep him entertained, he has the whole of Toys-r-us in his bedroom, 4 bookshelves of books, a draw full of arty stuff, nothing holds his interest for more than 5 minutes, and then he's looking for trouble.

I often joke he has the attention span of a knat

Thanks for talking with with TanteRose, I think he's just a very intelligent boy, who is old for his age, and I have to just go with the flow, but its hard when your the only person looking after him all the time.

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TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:28

most 5 year olds have the attention span of a knat

hate to be the devil's advocate, but have you got a computer he can use? some fun, educational computer games may be just what he (and you) need

worth a try! (my DS loved the computer and still does)

IndigoBell · 14/08/2012 08:32

It songs like dyspraxia to me.

Go to your GP and ask for a referral to a paed.

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:32

We do have a computer he plays on the disney channel site and cartoon network, I never thought of using for educational games tbh.

Thanks for that I'll have a quick look now, we did download some onto the ipad a few months ago, but they were to babyish for him, i'll have another look now though.

We are going on holiday next week, I'm dreading it, its supposed to be relaxing, my DS doesn't do relaxing.

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Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:34

IndigoBell - why do you say that?

I've had a quick look at the wiki site and the symptoms don't seem similar, he can hold small objects, write very well for his age, ride a bike, tie his shoelaces, etc as detailed above. Is there a better site to go onto to have a look that you could recommend?

Thanks x

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IndigoBell · 14/08/2012 08:41

All the uncoordinated and falling over stuff sounds like dyspraxia.

So does everything else you mention.

It is possible to have no fine motor skills problems and to have dyspraxia.

He certainly might not have it. he might have something related - or nothing. But you won't know unless he's seen by a paed.

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:42

Ok thanks, I've made an appointment for the Dr this morning at 10am so we'll see what he says, I'll probably be laughed out the place.

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 14/08/2012 08:43

dyspraxia symptoms

TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:44

you sound like you need this holiday!

is his dad around to help?

one more thing, read Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph

some people don't like him (he is very anti group child care) but the stuff he write about hormones and role models etc. is interesting.

another good book is How to Talk so Kids will listen and Listen so Kids will Talk

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 08:52

Thanks IndigoBell - I'll post when I get back from the Dr's x

TanteRose - I do! Yes his dad is here, but works quite long hours, but he does take over a bit on the evenings, but DS still comes to me for everything and talks endlessly to me anyway.

I have the book by Steve Biddulph, its a good read thanks though for the recommendation.

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TanteRose · 14/08/2012 08:57

great! his dad can take over on holiday too - make sure that you BOTH get some time to relax

good luck today at the doctors - they won't laugh and may have some good resources

lljkk · 14/08/2012 09:05

He doesn't sound uncoordinated at all.
He sounds demanding & whingy in a normal way (sorry). I'm sure he's sweet much of the time, too.

FWIW, one of my most vivid memories is watching DD walk straight into a wall that she was looking straight at. She was 4yo & daydreaming, I guess. She screamed huysterically thru swim lessons at age 5. She turned out to be very sporty, nonetheless (almost 7 yrs later), and has swum like a fish since she was 8 or so.

And she brags about walking into lampposts, which has happened recently. Still a daydreamer!

lljkk · 14/08/2012 09:06

huysterically? I think we should get marks on MN for creative typos.

Original poster

Hedwig06 · 14/08/2012 09:12

No I agree Lijkk, I don't think I've done anything differently with him than any of my other DC, but he's turned out so different and was so different from the day he was born.

He is very whiny and clingy and argumentative and stroppy and demanding, the list could go on tbh

but it will give me peace of mind and quieten a few family members if I do go and have him checked out.

I think they all think its my fault I'm making him difficult deliberately

I agree also about the typos' oh the ones I've done [cringe]

OP posts:

lljkk · 14/08/2012 09:21

I know those feelings. One of my 4 is very different from the others, there is something hard-wired difficult about him. I think he's got ADHD, but it's an aside, knowing that in myself doesn't change anything except give me some moral fortitude in dealing with him.

But then my parents thought I was difficult because I wasn't as extroverted as them or my brothers. They thought I was seriously messed up socially, although I would have fit into DH's family perfectly.

If you do travel down the road of assessments & investigations I hope that you get helpful answers.

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