Anyone else got a child who doesn't need much sleep?

[LurcioLovesFrankie]

And how do you cope?

DS (4.5) only needs 9 hours sleep. He's consistently gone with about 2 hours less than the books say he should, right from the early months. Behaviourly he seems fine on this - concentration, behaviour and mood seem fine on this amount of sleep. The trouble is I need about 8 hours, so by the time he's in bed (usual.y 9.00 till 6.00 - can't put him to bed any earlier as the thought of being woken before 6 is more than I can handle), there isn't a lot of time to do dishes/laundry/housework etc, and next to no unwinding time for me (and also no grown-up telly, no time to practise musical instruments, no time to catch up with reading from work). I switch between going to bed really early (9.30 ish) and getting enough sleep, or going to bed later (not enough sleep, but I need periods of me-time for my own sanity). Single mum, so no-one to share chores with.

DS is lovely - great fun and v. interesting. But if anyone has some handy hints for how to deal with the inevitable point where he starts needing less sleep than me, please let me know (or even how to generate a bit more time for me).

I taught mine to read so they could be in bed and relaxed with a book and a clear understanding that they had to stay there!
Also we used to swim often to tire them out, we'd go about 5pm.

My ds is the same! He is 9 now so much easier as can get up and entertain himself. That time will come for you.
He wakes up about 5.30 which is far too early for me. When he was younger I used to get up with him and wander round in a daze for a few hours, now easier though.
Also, I used to get him involved in whatever I needed to do, cleaning, washing etc so that once he was sleeping all work was done.

It does get easier as they get older! I am hoping that when my ds is a teenager ( and sleeping lots!) I will remember being stressed at him not sleeping, when I am trying to get him up for school!

Would he play quietly in his room from 8pm or so? I know my 4.5yr old wouldn't.

In the same boat with 18 month old DS. He goes 8.30/9-6ish most nights. I know I'm lucky as most nights he doesn't wake between those times (although he sqwarks a lot in his sleep which wakes me up as I'm next to him) but I'm the same as you I need a lot of sleep - generally go to bed at 10 as I want a little time to unwind/with DH but I am a wreck until 7.30/8 ish in the morning and DS doesn't do playing quietly - I just get a long list of shouted/whinged demands from the minute he wakes up - generally milk, drink, banana, raisins, cereal, slide (off the bed) and then play and will shriek and whinge until both DH and I get up with him.

It's different for us though because it's clear he's still tired when he wakes up, he alternates between being hyper and cranky until his nap which is generally about 11am for about an hour. I'm hoping as he gets older he'll be able to play on his own for a bit, especially as DC2 is due in October and I won't be able to be so flexible. I'm also hoping he'll just get better at sleeping as he gets older, it's almost like he's allergic to it right now.. It takes an age to get him to sleep even though he's a nightmare without it, he's always been like this.

So you're not alone, I don't know what to suggest but I do feel for you!

Thanks for the replies - good to know I'm not alone. Yes, I'm hoping he'll learn to read before he genuinely needs less sleep than me (he starts school next month, so supporting him with reading is something I intend to do lots of :) ). I can also relate to those of you saying your children don't play much on their own - I get "play with me" from the moment he wakes to the moment I get him into bed (have spent the last hour helping batman rescue the dolls-house dollies from various perils). I also try to tire him out (failed spectacularly last weekend though - 20 mile bike ride with him on the trailgator - he didn't pedal much so all I managed to do was to tire me out, and he came and bounced on me first thing the next morning with his usual "play with me").

Also, whoever said get him to help with chores is spot on - he helped with hanging the washing up earlier, and does help with other stuff, but I need to get better at building it into the daily routine and making it into a game (part of the problem is I hate housework, so it's difficult for me to find ways of pretending it's fun).

DD (2 tomorrow) is one who nevers seems to need a lot of sleep at night, her ideal pattern if she got her own way would be 10pm - 8am with an hour nap at about 1pm. Dropping the nap makes no difference to her night sleep just makes her miserable all afternoon/evening.

With a lot of work we've been managing to get her down by 8 but she will then somethings wake up at 5am!

Will take some of the hints on this thread on board especially as DS is due in December!

Another thing that helped us was having a special, very desirable toy that was only available for that hour in the mornings when I wanted DS to play quietly on his own. We had some playmobil knights that he loved, these and the orange juice carton and chocolate spread sandwich got us to 7am most days.
He HAD to be quiet and stay in his room or the knights didn't appear the next morning

Will he watch TV? TBH I'd let him have an hour of Cbeebies/DVD 6am-7am on the mornings you really need a lie in.

I'd also tell him that 8pm-9pm is the time that you need to do the dishes/laundry etc and he has the choice of playing quietly by himself or going to bed. Hopefully as he learns to read you can get him upstairs to read at 8pm.

I was like that as a child, I still am. The only time I needed sleep was in my teens. One of my cousins is the same.

Don't worry about the sleep, but make sure he has quiet time. If he can read then he can read a book, or get some audio books.

Get him in his bedroom for a certain time, with a 1/2 hour or 1 hr of 'quiet play' so reading or audio book and not much else.

Get him a clock with a 'getting up time' sticker and make him stay in his room until that time.

I like the idea of a special toy, keep it in your bedroom and only get it out when you are ready to get up.

My cousin work up while her baby sister was being born in the next room, the midwife and parents heard her drag a chair over to reach the light switch, turn on her light and then nothing - she knew it wasn't getting up time.

NiceCupOfTea, there is a very common (and hideous) sleep regression around 18 months, so it might improve when you get past the developmental leap which causes it. You can read more here.

My 2.7 y.o. is like this. I really struggle as I am sloooooow to do everything so either I can keep on top of household things or do 'activities' / social stuff - but not both. He still naps (which is lovely) but I need to nap too, so most of the time I don't get an evening. Thankfully he does play on his own quite a bit (as long as he's in the mood).

I know people who have a set bedtime which is before the child's natural sleeping time, and the child plays in their room till they feel tired enough to sleep. I plan to do this once DS gets past the separation anxiety phase of panicking if I'm in a different room from him for more than 2 minutes (probably in about 5 years' time ).

I think the way to introduce this is to start just a few minutes before their normal bedtime to get them used to the idea for very, very short periods, and then to make 'bedtime' gradually earlier so they are staying in their room for longer.

An alternative is to have this 'play quietly in your room' time in the middle of the day - start with 1 minute and build it up so you get a break then.

Other friends I know have an arrangement with another friend whereby once a week they take it in turns to have all the children for a morning, or for tea. That means the mothers get a child-free break every couple of weeks, even if not in the evenings.

AngelDog keep us posted! My DS since 18 months has been a 9pm til 6am (was just thankful that he started sleeping through)..

As others have said, the ability to read makes a huge difference to your sanity. With my DD1 (now 7) we had a horrible couple of years from approx 4-6 when she was a nightmare in the evenings. Made worse by the fact she was sharing a room with her younger sister who needed to go straight to sleep at 7pm and so as being kept up and over tired etc. We swapped the rooms around so DD2 and DS shared and DD1 had her own room, then we were very strict about her being quietly in her own room from 7.30pm. She was allowed to look at picture books, listen to story CDs etc. It was still difficult though as she was constantly up and downstairs wanting attention. Once she was 6 though and happy with proper independent reading everything changed - she is now a total book worm and the difficulty is getting her light reliably switched off at an acceptable time (obviously she switches back on the minute she hears my feet retreating downstairs). So hang in there and focus on his reading skills! I would start being a bit strict about him having a bit of quiet time on his own in the evenings though so that he begins to get used to the idea (story CDs? You can get them out at the library)