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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Tell me to stop worrying about lack of speech (21mo)

45 replies

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 21:25

DS is 21mo and isn't talking much. The only word he says now is 'yeah' for yes. He shakes his head for no. He used to say mamamamama and dadadada and 'cl' for clock but hasn't for months. He makes no animal noises or any other sounds I can recognise as attempts at words.

He does make noise though, babbling and dldldldldl (not sure how to spell it) sounds. We read plenty of books together, sing songs (he does actions) etc. He goes to nursery 2 days a week and is with my DM 2 days.

I have been trying desperately not to worry about this and know all babies develop at their own rate etc etc, but it seems to have been going on for so long. It's so very disheartening when ALL his 'friends', some who are months younger and talking.

I have decided to see the HV this week to maybe ask about a hearing test, although there is nothing other than this lack of speech to make me think there is a problem with his hearing, and see if there is anything else they can suggest.

So, should I be worried, or am I just being impatient?

OP posts:

EclecticShock · 06/08/2012 21:28

Get a hearing test. Understanding yes and no is a great sign, as is babbling. Does he request things? Does he get the opportunity to request things? Best way to start. Signing can also be very useful. Does he point or pull you around to show what he wants?

EclecticShock · 06/08/2012 21:29

You probably won't get to see a speech therapist until 2 but put your name down anyway... If you don't need it when it comes through, they will tell you.

tittytittyhanghang · 06/08/2012 21:30

dont worry, im sure he'll start talking in his own time. my ds is 20 months and has about 4 words and none of them are mum . Doesn't make animal sounds or any other distinguishable noises but makes plenty noise iykwim. Im not overly bothered yet.

EclecticShock · 06/08/2012 21:30

Actions are great too, but hearing test is always worth doing.

mummytime · 06/08/2012 21:32

Get a hearing test! It might be nothing but unfortunately it does sound as if it is something you should worry about. A proper hearing test, and I would go to the GP if you can't see the HV quickly.

I really hope it is nothing, but don't wait to get the tests done.

allagory · 06/08/2012 21:36

Worth asking your doctor for a hearing test. We had concerns about our son. We had him tested and he did have problems with glue ear ( quite common, I believe). We then retested and it seems to have cleared at 30 months he has renamed himself Chatty..

mumofthemonsters808 · 06/08/2012 21:37

You will find an amazing difference when he reaches 24months, for some strange reason these couple of months bring about real changes and you will recognise many of his words.The most important thing is he is making lots of sounds and keep talking to him constantly.

Even though he'll probably not need it just to let you know the waiting list for speech therapy here in Manchester is 6-12months !!!

Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 21:42

So 50/50 as to whether I should be worried or not then. mummytime what is it particularly that makes you think I should be really worried? Your post sounds like I should be, do you have some experience with this?

He has plenty of understanding electricshock, he will pull me to things, can point to animals/numbers in books, follow requests e.g. put it in the bin etc. If I give him a choice such as milk or water, he can indicate which he wants, usually by saying 'yea'.

I will be seeing the HV on Wed, now I'm thinking maybe I should have done something sooner?? But I have been trying so hard not to be a 'paranoid parent'.

OP posts:

Thelobsterswife · 06/08/2012 21:43

Try not to worry. I spent the best part of a year worrying about dd1 not speaking. She understood everything and could make all the sounds, but just wouldn't speak. Now I 'know' her better, I suspect it was a combination of being stubborn and shyness. She started yabbering at 2 and now at just gone 3, I had to hide in the garden for a couple of minutes the other day to get away from the constant stream of chatter! I wish I hadn't wasted time worrying. By all means book some tests, but I doubt very much there is a problem! Good luck!

Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 21:45

x-posts. allagory did your DS have any treatment for his glue ear? I'm a bit clueless with ear problems. Or did it just go on its own?

mumofthemonsters I hope you are right. I will also ask the HV about SLT referral and if they think it is worth making now, can always cancel if his speech comes on lots in the intervening months.

OP posts:

DoIgetastickerforthat · 06/08/2012 21:47

Get it flagged with GP and health visitor, actually I woul go as far as to ask for a referral to a SALT. Most places have really long waiting lists and he probably wouldn't get seen before he's three so get the ball rolling now. If he needs it, (which he probably won't), then you've got him in the system nice and early. If he's fine, you can just cancel any appointments and tell HV that you have no concerns.

dietstartstmoz · 06/08/2012 21:57

OP-i agree with others, see your HV and may maybe your GP as well (if you have one who specialises in paeds) and explain your concerns and please tell them that he has previously said more words but doesnt at the moment. I'm sure your ds will be fine but if he does need any extra help with anything it can be a frustrating wait for things like speech therapy. If you have any further concerns about his development mention this also. I have a son with SN so have some understanding of the areas for concern and losing skills should be investigated. Hope all is ok at your appointment.

tweedlezee · 06/08/2012 22:11

My son is 2 and 3 months. He really has only JUST started talking. He has always made nonsense sounds (and sais Dada from 2) but he has only just start communicating. I did worry a bit when other peoples 18month olds were pointing at and naming all the animals in the book but my son just threw the book at me and ate playdough. But all of a sudden, in the last 2 weeks at most he is really getting it and now really tries. The leap from 2 years to 2years 3 months has been MASSIVE! Hope all is ok, he's probably just saving it all up and it will all spurt out in onw go.

Pagwatch · 06/08/2012 22:12

To be honest I think seeing it as 'should I be worried or not' is not especially helpful.

Getting it checked out will cause no problems if it resolves itself naturally.

If it is something that he needs help with, getting it checked out will mean he gets that help sooner.

So to be honest I can't see a downside in referring a reasonable concern for further investigation.

Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 22:12

I have now stupidly googled skill loss and regression and terrified myself! I don't think he shows any other signs of an ASD, but you are right, it should be investigated. diet what other concerns should I be looking out for?

He sleeps well, eats well, is happy to see and interact with people (in fact has just started kissing everyone he meets virtually), can recognise some numbers, and lots of other objects/animals etc.

The only other thing maybe I would mention is that he seems to really dislike noisy things like the hoover/hand dryers/diggers etc. I suppose this could be to do with a hearing problem though maybe? Although he has been like this for as long as I can remember.

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Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 22:16

pagwatch you are right and that is why I am seeing my HV this week. It is so hard to know when to actually be concerned though, I am now hence this post and the HV appt.

MN is good for opening your eyes to other possibilities and maybe alerting me to things i should be mentioning to the HV, although equally good for scareing you silly

Thanks for everyones posts. I will try and remember to update for anyone else in a similar situation.

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Twowillbefine · 06/08/2012 22:30

Pagwatch is totally right. No harm in getting it checked out. DS2 will be 2 tomorrow. He has no words at all but I am not overly concerned. However I can compare him to DS1 who has ASD and was non-verbal til past 4. DS2 is totally different; babbles, points, waves, claps. If he's still got no words by Xmas I'll take him to the talking walk-in but until then I won't worry.

EclecticShock · 06/08/2012 22:32

He sounds fine, try not to stress. Hearing check first though just to make sure and then take it as it comes :)

mummytime · 06/08/2012 22:33

When I was a child, the younger brother of some kids I played with was "quiet". Even I (at 7 ) felt bad when it was realised at five that he had profound hearing loss, and no one had realised.
It is probably glue ear or similar. I wouldn't necessarily be seeking speech therapy as much as ensuring that hearing was there.

EclecticShock · 06/08/2012 22:36

Seriously, don't stress, his development sounds completely typical, maybe just later to speak. Make sure you are constantly repeating yourself. Say the word 3 times works well. milk? Milk... Milk. :)

4boyzmum · 06/08/2012 22:40

I was worried about my DS not talking too. He's 3 and a half now but at 2 years old he was saying nothing coherent at all....just a load of made up noises, like a funny other language. Seemed like all other kids same age and younger were so verbal compared to him! Mentioned it to HV who was very reassuring and said that she wouldnt even think of refering him to speech therapy until he was 3 and even then she'd not see any rush to do so until 3 and a half years old. He started nursery last Sept at 2 and a half years old and was still saying practically nothing. However since then it's all come together. He talks constantly....in fact his speech and the words and way he uses them has overtaken some kids who were talking way before he was. I'd say that although i totally understand your concern cos i felt the same way, I don't think that it should worry you. At the age he is at I don't think its that uncommon TBH and you'll find that within the next year he'll find his voice and you'll never hear the end of it!

DottyDot · 06/08/2012 22:46

Bizarrely I was having a clear out today and came across a diary dp had written for a time when ds2 was 6 months old so ds1 was 2.9 years old and at that time he was saying "mummy" "gaga" (for grandma) and "bye bye see Soo" (bye bye see you soon). And that was about it!

He understood everything perfectly well but just wasn't a talker. He's 10 now and still prefers to be silent - he's introverted, quiet, serious and I'm sure always will be.

We think the only thing that spurred him on to eventually start using more words was when his outrageously verbal little brother started singing and talking from about 1 year onwards. He's 8 now and sadly still the noisiest child in the known universe...

They all do different things at different times. Funnily enough we discovered ds2's hearing wasn't so great and he ended up having his tonsils and adenoids out a couple of years ago.

Fingers crossed everything's ok and he'll get there when he's ready.

Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 23:03

Thanks for the reassurance. Will let you know how it goes. God, parenting is a tricky thing.

OP posts:

Original poster

TittyBojangles · 06/08/2012 23:11

Thanks for the reassurance. Will let you know how it goes.

OP posts:

dietstartstmoz · 07/08/2012 06:46

OP i'm sure your ds will be fine and i hope i havent worried you. My ds2 does have asd and he has not lost any skills but i do know that it should be investigated. Is your HV any good? Mine passed ds2 at all his baby developmental checks but we had concerns and asd was confirmed when he was 3.5. She didnt pass my ds1 at his baby checks though and he does not have asd. as others have said it would not hurt to get a referral as you can always cancel if you dont need it. Asd can be very difficult to dx so i wouldnt want to worry you and tell you to look for x and y as all asd kids are different and no 2 asd kids i know are the same. I hope your ds is fine but please keep posting if you need reassurance or further help

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