Tell me to stop worrying about lack of speech (21mo)

[TittyBojangles]

DS is 21mo and isn't talking much. The only word he says now is 'yeah' for yes. He shakes his head for no. He used to say mamamamama and dadadada and 'cl' for clock but hasn't for months. He makes no animal noises or any other sounds I can recognise as attempts at words.

He does make noise though, babbling and dldldldldl (not sure how to spell it) sounds. We read plenty of books together, sing songs (he does actions) etc. He goes to nursery 2 days a week and is with my DM 2 days.

I have been trying desperately not to worry about this and know all babies develop at their own rate etc etc, but it seems to have been going on for so long. It's so very disheartening when ALL his 'friends', some who are months younger and talking.

I have decided to see the HV this week to maybe ask about a hearing test, although there is nothing other than this lack of speech to make me think there is a problem with his hearing, and see if there is anything else they can suggest.

So, should I be worried, or am I just being impatient?

4boyzmum

I quite understand that your post was intended to be reassuring and quite rightly too - I am sure there is nothing serious for the op to worry about.

But I have to say I would treat what your hv says with huge caution in future as she sounds stupid. Not bothering about a speech delay until at least three and a half is IMO ridiculous. If a child has problems then the sooner they get help the better. Almost every possible problem is helped by early intervention. If referral is delayed until 3 1/2 then a child might not be seen until 4 which is stupidly late for a problem flagged at 2.

I would be really wary of her advice if she is so wafty about speech delay - a potential red flag for lots of problems.

It is normal for them to learn & forget a small number of words, don't fret about that.
Gestures count as words in my mind.
3 DC have had delayed speech, like only 10 clear words a few months after their 2nd birthdays. They have all come good in the end, but do chat with HV so that you feel like you're doing what you can.

Any regression or loss of skills can be an indicator of asd and should be investigated further. Also speech delay in toddlers. Both red flags for autism, although obviously all children develop at their own pace but speech delay in my son was a sign he had autism

I do appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. It's my fault for googling and worrying myself, so noone else's fault. Much better that I flag it with the hv and see what they say, get a hearing test and ask for SLT referral early. I'm sure everything will turn out fine, but if not I will be kicking myself a bit for not seeking help earlier. Anyway, can't do anything about that now. Thanks again everyone.

I agree that getting it checked is the best thing but be aware that as noted above health visitors have no specific training in child developments issues and so may be too complacent - also a referral onwards to Child Development Centre and SLT will not lead immediately to any specific action or specific assessment. What I am trying to say is don't go to the HV expecting it to be 'cameras lights action'. The approach is likely to be laid back and re assuring regardless of how your child presents. Having said all that, it's most likely that your child will pick up the pace naturally, but if not, you need to be the one to look deeper and push for what help there is.

In our area there is a SALT advice line, which was really helpful when I called about ds (he had been referrred but I had heard nothing back, after talking to the speech therapist on the advice line, someone came out the next afternoon!)
If you google speech and language and your area, you might find something similar.

In our area a child can't be considered for speech therapy until they're at least 2 and a half. When DD3 had her developmental check at just over 2 the HV agreed with me that she'd phone me the week after DD3 turned 2.6, and get her on the waiting list.

DD3 is now fine - she's just turned 5 and has entirely age appropriate speech. But a year ago she was classified as having a severe speech delay. So things can and often do work themselves out. But getting onto lists is important. As Pagwatch says, getting it checked out is never a bad idea.

I think not referring for speech therapy until 2.6 or older may make sense if it is established or hoped that the child has issues with speech only, and that all other areas of development are typical - this is not about OP child just a general observation. But many of these developmental concerns get mixed up together and the traditional 'wait and see' advice which is fine when there's nothing wrong anyway can prevent children with serious issues from getting help.

Well, to be fair to HV she did give me info to go to the walk in speech therapy centre in my town if i was starting to get overly worried. So she wasn't being too complacent really. But sort of added on that in her opinion don't start getting too worried til DS was well past 3. Plus i think that as he was due to start nursery too then she was of the opinion that his speech would come on in leaps and bounds then...which it definitely did do. I think personally that was my yardstick so to speak for determining whether i would push for more intervention. If DS had still not been talking once he'd been at nursery an established amount of time then regardless of what was said to me then i'd have definitely insisted on some action being taken. She's not HV anymore now anyway..has moved on to pastures new so i've learnt!

It's always good when it turns out there was no problem after all and this is what the 'wait and see' approach relies on, but I still think that we need to have a system that adequately addresses the needs of a minority of children who have more serious issues which are quite wrongly bundled up with the 'at the end of the day everyone catches up' view which sadly is just not true - not OP related as nothing is known about that situation so not trying to add to her worry. Lack of speech at 21 months could be a concern but would have to seen along with a range of other issues to raise serious concerns but there seems to be a real difficulty in admitting this - if a child had a fever and red spots (which usuallly turns out to be trivial) we would not say 'oh my granny says in her day loads of children had red spots and raging fevers but they are all fine' - most people would advise at least a basic medical check. We need to get to the same stage of acceptance with possible symptoms of developmental delay.

Ds was 1 when he was referred and about 14 months when he was first seen, but he has other issues as well so I guess that might make a difference. But dd2 was seen before she was 3, because she had a stammer.

I suppose the thing is that no harm can come from seeing someone, and if there are issues then the earlier intervention the better.

Yy Willowcat.

The other factor is how long it takes to exclude all possible problems and actually start getting support. So a referral at 2 and a half is not always going to be help at 2 and a half.

In my case I saw five (as it turned out) completely irrelevant specialists including hearing check, community paediatrician, etc etc before finally - after 6 months of begging I got to see someone who could help and give us some answers. Ds1 didn't actually get any salt until another 6 months later.

So over a year from first concern to actual help.

Starting the process helps.

I just wanted to add that you should really push for the hearing test - all 3 of mine have had glue ear and speech delay only ds3 has needed SALT. The difference now he can hear is profound (he had grommets at 2.5yrs, thick glue and maybe only 1 ear infection ever) - its worth doing even just to rule it out.

ds3 is now 3yrs and is being monitored by SALT and whilst he doesn't get therapy he goes to a talkers group and we get advice the reasoning being the waiting list for therapy is 6 months so if they feel he needs it at 4 they'll refer him at 3.5yrs if that makes sense - its worth understanding what the service/PCT is like near you, and if what your GP or HV says doesn't feel right get a second opinion when you get to School it gets harder to get referals and access funding (although you have a bit of time before that )

The only other thing is to remember 'speech' and 'language' are very different - is he communicating? understanding when you ask him to do something? gesturing for things and making himself understood? I know other posters have flagged up ASD as a consideration so it would be good to note if he is withdrawing from his surroundings which could cause concern for regression or engaging with them but having unclear/reluctant speech - also bear in mind if you can't hear you do with draw from your surroundings as you aren't as aware - your right its a tricky business but if you are concerned keep asking until you are happy and reassured every child is different but no one knows yours better than you do (and in the meantime try not to compare with peer group - the range is huge at this age!)

I don't suppose anyone knows where I can get hold of a copy of the 'it takes two to talk' book for a bit cheaper? It seems to be at least £40 everywhere I have found it.

Very good book.

The Hanen book is very good, but have a look at www.talkingpoint.org.uk. It has lots of info on children's development and free resources/ideas on how parents can help. I'm a SLT and the vast majority of our later talkers have NO other difficulties, so try not to worry. He still has plenty of time, but check out the situation in your area - ring the local SLT department and find out what their policies are on referral, most departments allow parents to refer themselves or will give advice. I wouldn't be worrying till he is two, but would definitely not leave it till he is 3, as children can become quite frustrated by then

How did you get on with your HV OP?

Well annoyingly it was a diff hv who didn't even ask me anything, just said she would get my hv to ring me next week. Will update again when I hear anything. And ill speak to the gp if needs be.

If you are concerned raise it and start the process. I kept listening to well meaning friends and thinking it was nothing when, in fact, DD was delayed. Her speech therapist is great and she has come on leaps and bounds but I dearly wish I had started it earlier (around 2 instead of 5).