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Original poster

3.5 yo stealing food

52 replies

Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 22:49

My dd usually goes to nursery 5 days a wk but since its summer hols and I'm off work, its been reduced to 2 days.
A few days ago we baked biscuits together, and they were cooling on the rack, I let her have one after tea, I went to run her a bath and came downstairs to find she'd eaten them all. She blamed her brother and threw an almighty tantrum. I told her what she'd done wrong and not to do it again etc.
The next day after lunch I gave her a yogurt and went upstairs to chat to ds and she'd been in the fridge and eaten 7 yogurts. Today she ate most of the fruit bowl. And later was caught eating cheerios straight from the box.
She can't be hungry she has plenty of food.
And when I sit her on the naughty step or shout at her she doesn't seem to care then does it again.
Any ideas how to tackle her?

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beeny · 30/07/2012 22:50

She sounds hungry.

ReallyTired · 30/07/2012 22:55

She is three years old and has no concept of "stealing".

Three year olds are implusive creatures and don't think.

I dread to think what your supervision of your three year old must be like if she had the time to eat 7 yoghurts.

I imagine that your three year old is eating because she is bored out of her skull. Prehaps you need to either increase the nursery days or get off your fanny and actually look after her.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:04

Seriously?
I'm a single parents trying to keep 2 dcs entertained over the hols, I can't watch her 24/7 she needs time to learn to play without constant attention. I just don't know why every time I leave the room she starts eating. I just want to nip it in the bud and teach her it isn't acceptable to her herself to what ever she likes, next time it might be a bottle of bleach or whatever she can lay her hands on. At 3.5 I expected her behaviour to start picking up not get worse.

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Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:08

She's always been motivated by food, partly my fault, "if u r a good girl u can have a biscuit" etc. But can't be hungry, she always eats, and would eat all day if I let her, til she was sick and start again. She likes food. But how do I tackle the latest defiance?

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Heartbeep · 30/07/2012 23:16

Have you tried to have a calm conversation with her?

My DD is just over 3 but if things are explained rationally, she does understand. Doesn't mean she always does as she's asked but she certainly has a good understanding. You don't have to shout to get a point across to a 3 year old.

Maybe also put things out of reach & keep a closer eye on her for a while or get some cupboard & fridge locks but she should understand to ask if she wants food.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:22

Yes I've explained that if she had asked I would have given it her and she mustn't just take it herself etc but nothing seems to be getting thro. She just says sorry then does it again the next time!

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Heartbeep · 30/07/2012 23:27

Could it be a phase or maybe attention seeking? If she knows you'll react when you find her?

When you're upstairs does she know you're spending time with your other child? Maybe she's a bit jealous.

You could fit a gate to the kitchen, that could outfox her, then at least you know she's not eating & if other naughtiness ensues, it might not be about food.

I'm not much help sorry!

MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 30/07/2012 23:33

I think you should hide the food away that you don't want her to have, and that you should spend as much time with her as you can. My guess is that she is stealing the food to get attention. I understand that she likes food. My DC did and I found it was a useful incentive on many occasions. You are in charge. You can control what goes on in the house, what outings you all go on, what food she can reach, and what food is shut away in a fridge or cupboard that has a child lock on it. At 3 and a half she is too young to be able to moderate her intake all by herself, if what she wants to do is to eat everything she can find.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:35

I never thought of that, u might be on to something there, might have to find a way to bolt the kitchen door and see what happens next. Tho its pretty routine for daily tv half hr for me to wonder off n busy myself with housework or ds homework etc.

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Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:38

I think u might be right, maybe tackle it by keeping her busy for the next few days at least and taking her with me when I need to go upstairs etc.

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QuintessentialShadows · 30/07/2012 23:40

Hide food and ensure she cant get her hands on bleach, vitamins or medicines, etc. Fridge lock?

MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 30/07/2012 23:41

When she is at nursery is she hungry? Maybe all the easily available food at home is just too tempting. At nursery it will be completely unreachable outside mealtimes.

She is dealing with a big change in her normal routine being at home so much rather than nursery.

ReallyTired · 30/07/2012 23:43

"I'm a single parents trying to keep 2 dcs entertained over the hols, I can't watch her 24/7 she needs time to learn to play without constant attention"

I'm sorry but I feel your expectations just aren't developmentally appriopiate.
I'm sorry but it is necessary to watch a three year old pretty much 24/7, otherwise they get up to mischief.

How much time does it take for a three year old to eat SEVEN yoghurts? How long did you leave her unsupervised for? My three year old takes five to ten minutes to eat one yoghurt. Its sounds like to me that you left your three year old for far too long.

Would it be possible to put a stair gate on the kitchen door. How old is your son? Is there any reason why your two children can't be in the same room?

Meglet · 30/07/2012 23:44

I remember DS went through a mad eating phase at that age. He crept down and raided the fridge one morning and ate a 6 pack of fromage frais and a banana. He had taken a spoon, eaten them in his room and hidden the empty packets down the side of his bed.

Fridge and cupboard locks stopped it. But I did increase his food intake after that.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:46

She ate them with ds in the room! He's tunnel visioned when tv is on!
Oh believe me she'd have eaten all 7 in less than 10 mins easily, I'm only talking about the lil petit flous ones but food doesn't touch the sides with my dd.

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Athrawes · 30/07/2012 23:47

You can't leave a 3.5 year old on their own for half an hour! She could climb out a window, stick a fork in a socket in that time or be half way down the street.
Yes, she has to learn to play on her own but with you in and out of the room all of the time - even the speediest kid can't eat 7 yoghurts in less than ten minutes.
Get locks for fridge and all medicines and chemicals to be out of reach and locked away. Parenting 101.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:49

If they r in the same room they usually squabble. Ds has to take a back seat, she's at a demand age, always wants attention but about once a day I stick cbeebies on and sneak off for half an hr, to hoover, cook, shower or chat to ds.

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MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 30/07/2012 23:51

My guess is that she resents that half hour.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:52

Of course medicines and cleaning stuff is locked out the way, I'm not a complete idiot. May I refer u to my AIBU thread, where most ppl leave their dc's unsupervised at some point in the day also.
Do u suggest she has to come every time I need a wee? Cos believe me, she's that quick at eating!

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Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:53

She probably does resent it. How else can she learn to give ds time too? Any suggestions pls?

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MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 30/07/2012 23:53

How old is DS?

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:54

7

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ReallyTired · 31/07/2012 00:00

"If they r in the same room they usually squabble. Ds has to take a back seat, she's at a demand age, always wants attention but about once a day I stick cbeebies on and sneak off for half an hr, to hoover, cook, shower or chat to ds."

You need to up your game as a parent. It is not OK to leave children unsupervised for half an hour. It sounds like your kids are bored out of their skulls. Hence the squabbling and your daughter having the chance to eat 7 yoghurts.

We have been lucky with the weather recently. Why don't you take your children to the park? Prehaps its worth investigating if you have any activities on at your local children's centre. If its raining you could take your children to a libary where many libraries are doing a reading challenge at the moment. Does your town have any museums?

Many councils have free or heavily subsidised activites to keep children amused during the summer holiday. There is often help for low income families where there are charges.

Do you have any friends that you could meet up with?

MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 31/07/2012 00:03

OK, not too much older than she is.

What I did to get through holiday days at that age was to take the DCs out a lot with big picnics, because I found I coped better out of the house than in it.

So we went to the park, swimming, into town, the library, for a walk with an icecream on the way etc etc. Lots of activities to use up energy and waste time. Even a water fight in the garden, set up a camp in the garden. All that kind of thing.

But don't think of her as "stealing". Just make sure she has enough and hide the rest of the food away. Don't expect her to self-regulate yet.

All of the above is meant kindly, sorry if it sounds know-it-all and bossy.

MrsBranestawmingtovictory · 31/07/2012 00:04

X post with all the stuff Reallytired is saying. Much the same really!