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Original poster

Question for light sleepers: will I be able to sleep with baby in my room?

39 replies

minipie · 19/07/2012 12:20

I'm due with DC1 in December and looking at cots. I was all set to get a bedside crib (like the babynest) for semi-cosleeping.

However, a friend has mentioned that she had to move her DS out of her room as she couldn't sleep through the sound of him breathing/snuffling etc.

I am unfortunately a very light sleeper and get woken by the slightest noise (eg if DH rolls onto his back and starts breathing through his mouth - not snoring just breathing! - it wakes me up).

What are the chances of me sleeping through a baby snuffling? I don't want to shell out for a babynest only to find I have to move the baby further away anyway in order to get some sleep...

Any experiences most welcome !

thanks

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Iheartpasties · 19/07/2012 12:28

Some babies seem to make loads of noise at night and if you are a light sleeper it might keep you awake. I was always so knackered I would just collapse and felt like I was falling into a deep sleep, but there were some hours where I felt like I just couldn't fall asleep. I like my new born near me though so I could hear she was breathing :)

It might be something you wont know until the baby arrives. Sorry I think I'm being unhelpful.

ZuleikaD · 19/07/2012 12:29

Umm. I wouldn't count on getting too much sleep in the first few months anyway but on the upside you may well find that when you are asleep you're sleeping much more heavily (the body is very good at making the best of the time available!). Newborns and small babies are often feeding every two hours around the clock and to counter the SIDS risk it is much, much safer to have them in with you (bear in mind it's NOT so you can hear them - so a monitor is no use - it's so they can hear you).

Mcnorton · 19/07/2012 12:30

Snuffling sounds cute. FWIW my son made animals that sounded like a (loud) farmyard when he was in a cot in our bedroom but I was so anxious as a first-time Mum I'd have been awake anyway. He went into his own room next to ours at 4.5 months and I can still hear him through the wall, though now he is nearly four it's not farmyard noises but snoring and sleep talking. It's tricky for us light sleepers. Can you borrow a moses basket and have him next to you in that to start with, and see what it's like before uou spend more?

Ephiny · 19/07/2012 12:38

If you have a spare room, you and DH could take turns sleeping in the room with the baby while the other gets some sleep on their own?

Or foam earplugs - might block the snuffly noises but still allow you to hear and wake up if baby actually cries?

Original poster
minipie · 19/07/2012 13:02

Thanks everyone

Yes, I could borrow a Moses basket and see how it goes - good point. Think I might be getting a bit obsessed with making all decisions/buying all kit before the baby gets here!

Also good point about being anxious and wanting to hear them breathe - if DC is in a different room I can imagine myself getting up every 5 minutes to check on them which of course will wake me up far more than just hearing them beside me.

Of course I realise I won't be getting much sleep for a while anyway Smile but then I guess that means it is that much more important that I do sleep in the short periods when they are asleep!

Will borrow the Moses basket and play it by ear I think. Thank you

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Lala29 · 19/07/2012 13:08

We moved DD out into her own room after a couple of nights and it worked perfectly for us. It meant we could at least get a few hours of sleep each while the other was up with the baby. That, to us, was invaluable. I am normally a pretty heavy sleeper, but even now (dd is 9 months), her tiniest noises wake me up (from a different room). I guess my body is just too tuned in to her!

It worked for us, but it's a very personal decision. I would borrow a Moses basket an see how you get on.

forevergreek · 19/07/2012 13:37

The reason the recommendation that they stay with you for 6 months to sleep is not so you can hear them, but do they can hear you.

The noises from you and dh breathing/ getting in and out bed/ moving etc will help stop baby going into such a deep sleep that he/ she forgots to breathe, and so reduce SIDS. Hearing your movements will allow baby to keep to a certain level asleep as the movements/ breathing with rouse them ever so slightly

Original poster
minipie · 19/07/2012 13:46

forever oh I know - and I'd prefer to have them in with me for that reason.

But I have to balance that benefit against the risk to the baby of having a mother who's had no sleep!

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ZuleikaD · 19/07/2012 13:55

All babies have sleep-deprived mothers. It keeps you on the sofa all day where they want you. Grin

Niceupthedance · 19/07/2012 14:24

You will be able to sleep in the day as well when they are really small don't forget.

Original poster
minipie · 19/07/2012 14:45

too true Zuleika

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Beanbagz · 19/07/2012 14:49

Believe me, you'll be so exhausted that when your baby is asleep you will be too!

Seriously i'm a very light sleeper but had no problems in the early months. Once my DCs got a bit better at sleeping, they seemed to be quieter too.

Lala29 · 19/07/2012 17:30

I disagree. Not ALL mothers are sleep deprived. After the first 8 weeks or so, I wasn't. And neither were a few of my friends.

Sleeping in another room from your baby IS an alternative and it worked for us. It meant I was sane, husband could function at work and we both still had a relationship with each other. Also meant we didn't wake the baby up when we went to sleep/ husband snored, etc.

brettgirl2 · 19/07/2012 19:53

I would be interested to see the stats that show it is much much safer Hmm in that case its also much much safer for them to have a dummy. Both are more likely to be slightly safer. Smoking is by far the greatest cause of SIDs.

Parenthood is about assessing risks and making a judgement. If you cant sleep at night and then go to sleep at the wheel then that isnt good for the baby either.

kitbit · 19/07/2012 20:00

I'm a v light sleeper but I sleep differently now, post-ds. Before ds once I was awake that would be it. Now I can wake for 5 mins be fully alert and totally zonked again the next minute.

I can sleep through pneumatic drills but ds' little voice has me wide awake instantly. And I can sort of 'choose' to ignore sounds to get to sleep which is new.

I used to be such a light sleeper I'd have to sleep with my fingers in my ears if anyone stayed over. Your hormones will sort it, you'll be fine with baby in with you :)

Brices · 19/07/2012 20:03

I couldn't sleep with baby in room they have to be in their own rooms

Oblomov · 19/07/2012 20:13

I put ds1 in his room after a few days. We were in hospital for 10 days. When we got home, it quickly dawned on us how loud he was. Snuffly, snoring. Even dh was shocked. On night 2, we had to put him in his own room.
I did the same with ds2.
I b'fd them both. Heard them cry within 1 milli-second and was there. Fed them, burped them and put them down. They were asleep before I was out the room.
I know its frowned apon. I don't really care. But you know what, LOADS of people do it. I never had any ANY concerns. I was not concerned about cot death. I was not concerned about them feeling left alone, neglected etc.
I was totally comfortable with my decision. I hope you are too.

Original poster
minipie · 20/07/2012 16:48

Thanks everyone. I think that this has at least made it clear I shouldn't shell out on an expensive co sleeper cot.

I think I will borrow my friend's moses basket, if I have a very quiet baby or find it easy to sleep through the noises I can always get the co sleeper cot later.

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forevergreek · 20/07/2012 19:00

Yes they might be noisy but as as a maternity nanny I have twice been in the situation where baby sleeping next to parents saved their lives. Once I was looking after younger siblings but it happened to elder daughter a few years before and once I was woken by obviously panicked parents after the dad sensed something wasn't quiet right and baby had stopped breathing
Luckily both fine now but I dread what the outcome could have been had they not been close by
I personally will not do a maternity booking if baby is to be in own room, only if with parents or myself

Im not trying to scaremonger but i really wouldn't want anyone to experience a death of a child that may have been avoided.

Original poster
minipie · 20/07/2012 19:06

forever that happened with my sister as a baby. She wasn't even in the same room but my mum is an exceptionally light sleeper (would wake if a pin was dropped in next postcode) and she somehow sensed/heard something was wrong from across the landing. My sister wasn't breathing and had gone grey. Thankfully she was rushed to hospital and all was ok.

Ok remembering that has made me think that we will need to have DC in our room whether we sleep or not.

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TinyDiamond · 20/07/2012 19:20

By the way a good alternative to a proper co sleeper cot is a £50 ikea cot set to bed height level without one side but reinforced and then attached to your bed. That's the set up we had until dd started crawling.
I would really recommend doing that.

brettgirl2 · 20/07/2012 20:10

Forever greek do you insist on the use of dummies? Research shows they reduce the risk of cot death also. This is very rarely mentioned at all.

Original poster
minipie · 20/07/2012 20:24

tiny that is actually what I had in mind - if I can work out a way to set it to bed height level and attach it to our bed. What do you mean by reinforcing?

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forevergreek · 20/07/2012 20:32

I don't insist on dummies but I do recommend them and give parents information on sids recommendations

Im not sure how much the dummy helps but have covered on my training so if they are happy i will use. the idea is you offer at the beginning of sleep as the sucking can help to regulate a breathing pattern, if it is spat out after a few minutes that pattern is supposedly already ingrained. ith those who would like a dummy offered for this reason i offer but if baby spits out after being offered twice i leave it at that as it isnt something that can be forced

minipie - yes its scary. your right, it happens fairly regularly actually. obviously if you look up deaths from sids the figure will be lower as fortunately many parents/ carers discover baby has stopped breathing very quickly and many recover fully.

a regular cot with mattress high up next to bed or anywhere in room will probably be your best option as can use longest. if you do have space i would recommend getting a cotbed from the start as will last all the way through until 4/6 years depending on size, so saves buying a toddler bed or a single bed for a few years

Original poster
minipie · 20/07/2012 21:27

forever I had understood this is something different from SIDS, it's called ALTE or sometimes infant apnoea? but may be linked I guess.

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