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Behaviour/development

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Should I be worried about 19.5mo ds? Not talking + some other issues.

50 replies

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 19:52

Right, so he's not talking yet. He has one clear word, 'Mama', but he doesn't use it consistently and it always seems to be shouted. He does seem very proud when I react (eg 'Are you talking to mummy?') though. Despite getting very frustrated at times with his inability to communicate clearly (biting, scratching, screeching), he doesn't seem to make any 'effort' to say anything. He does babble extensively.

He's completely obsessed with fans, to the point where he sees them everywhere - any circle, even tiny ones and patterns that look like circles, he spots and makes his spinning gesture. His favourite ItNG character is the ball, followed by the Pinky Ponk with its propeller.

He sleeps very poorly and has done since birth, often refusing to sleep until very late at night (up till 10pm fairly regularly), and his waking times are equally unpredictable. I don't handle this very well so the problem here could be me :(

Daytime naps are all over the place. He dropped from two to one earlier than he 'should' have and it seemed to help with bed times for a while. Now it almost seems like having a nap at all makes it difficult to switch off at night. We couldn't drop it however because the times we've attempted to skip the nap he's fallen asleep later in the day - which leads to a ridiculous bedtime etc.

He goes through long phases of multiple night wakings.

On the positive side he makes eye contact readily, he shares attention and is very affectionate. He has good understanding - eg I just showed him how to smell a flower and he got it immediately, making a little sniffing noise and poking his nose out when I held it near his face. He loves to read books together and play football, and he enjoys and frequently initiates back-and-forth games like hide-and-seek. He is adorable, cheeky and very funny and super handsome.

I'm a worrier. When he was late walking I worried terribly but then one day - at 16 months - he just got up and ran. I don't trust my own judgement here - should I be worried?

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choceyes · 17/06/2012 19:59

Sounds ok to me. I have a 22 month old and she says about twenty words and most of them in the last few weeks. Her understanding is great like your ds and her sleep is also not good, although is in bed by 7. My ds now 3.5yrs could talk in sentences at her age. They grow up differently. Wait and see what they say at the two year check.

choceyes · 17/06/2012 20:00

Twenty clear words I mean. She says more but only I can understand!

oreocrumbs · 17/06/2012 20:05

I don't think his development sounds to be slow particuarly. The sleep sounds like a killer for both of you, but I don't really have any advice. The sleep boards on here have loads so do check them out.

My DD is 22 mo, and it is just the last couple of months that she has made real progress with her words. Untill then she had a couple, and constant babbling, now she doesn't really babble much and words are coming thick and fast. (I know what she is saying, she is not speaking clearly yet).

The smelling the flower thing really rang a bell because DD started to 'get' things like that at about your son's age and then the words came.

I don't think you have anything to worry about, he sounds perfectly lovely and at a similar stage to the other DC I know around my DD's age. Talk to your HV if you really are worried but I think he is just taking it all in and just like the walking will probably turn around one day and never stop!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/06/2012 20:06

At the moment I wouldn't worry.
It sounds like you are concerned about autism.
The way you describe you DS would rule out a diagnosis of significant autism at this stage.
If he is understanding you I would just keep an eye on he expressive language but he is within normal ranges ATM.
My dc5 is 2 and has a handful of words and they are newly acquired. Dc4 was the same and is very articulate at 4.

ARiverInEgypt · 17/06/2012 20:10

Honestly, I would talk to your doctor/health visitor, because although he might well just be developing in his own good time, this is a long way behind normal, and together with the propeller thing, may be a symptom of wider problems.
Let's hope it's all fine, but you should see an expert to discuss.

EclecticShock · 17/06/2012 20:12

I would see your gp if you are worried. There are lots of things you can do to help his development if you start now.

EclecticShock · 17/06/2012 20:14

Even if he's fine, there's no harm in gettig it checked out. It doesn't sound like he's following an entirely typical route of development.

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 20:29

Yes, I'm worried about autism, although I guess I'm more worried about some kind of processing or communication disorder.

He really hates more than one person singing at him, or people saying 'yay!' (when he has done something well for example).

Just now we were reading a book which featured a dog and a baby eating. Each time he saw one he pointed it out and smacked his lips, very clearly his way of communicating 'eating'. But he didn't try to say eating.

I should mention that he hears two languages at home. I'm not convinced that this would explains his issues though.

Thanks for all the thoughts, I will get him checked out.

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moojie · 17/06/2012 20:30

I would not be worried about the talking at all. My ds would say animal noises but no words then at 20 months said one word one day, the next day a few more and about 2 weeks later was making 2 to 3 word sentences.

Have you spoken to your hv about his sleeping. I know at our surgery they have a nursery nurse who will come to your house to help with behavioural problems and sleeping.

I don't really agree that his development is below average. There is a wide range of 'normal' at this age and once they start to pick up things like talking it all comes together.

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 20:30

MrsDV, am I right in thinking you see this kind of thing in your professional life?

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/06/2012 20:31

Apart from the sleeping issue what domyounthink is a long way behind normal ARiver?

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 20:32

I am loathe to discuss his sleeping habits because we have unconventional arrangements (co-sleeping and still bf'ing) [embarrassed].

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debka · 17/06/2012 20:33

I think the 2 languages thing is significant. I have a friend whose son had 2 languages at home, and he didn't really speak until he was 4. He is now a bright and normal 8yo.

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 20:33

Ahem, Blush

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EclecticShock · 17/06/2012 20:35

My ds shows signs of autism at that age and we acknowledged he was having difficulties, learnt how to help his development and he is now back on track. It's never to early to be concerned or to help his development. Please get him checked out, so that you can understand how you can benefit him. I'm not saying he has autism but dev delay can look like autism and at this age, you can help so much.

EclecticShock · 17/06/2012 20:36

Maybe look into signing, it's very useful at bringing on language.

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 20:37

I assume she means the lack of speech :(

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/06/2012 20:37

Yes Julie. I work as part of the specialist children's team/child development team.
I would never dismiss a parent's worries out of hand because there is a lot of 'watching and waiting' when it comes to development.
It's always worth keeping and eye on anything that concerns you and seeking advice.
At your Ds's age he would have to be displaying more symptoms to be dx with ASD.
That doesn't rule out ASD completely but I would say that about many children presenting with delay and sensory issues.
BUT many children have little quirks and dislikes that resolve themselves as they mature.
Does that make sense?

Belmo · 17/06/2012 20:40

Nowt wrong with co-sleeping and bfing Grin

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 17/06/2012 20:41

Agree with signing. Many children love it and if they are on the cusp,of talking it can give them the nudge they need.
Debka is correct about the languages too.
Bilingual children are often have an early delay but once this resolves their language skills are above average (compared to their peers)

CelineMcBean · 17/06/2012 20:44

He may not be able to hear very well. He is still very little and I wouldn't say he was very behind. If he has no words by 21 months I would take him to GP.

A good SALT can also make an assessment. I thought DS had good attention. He didn't because he couldn't hear.

scummymummy · 17/06/2012 20:52

I'm sure I read somewhere that on average bilingual children take longer to acquire language but in the longer term they benefit immensely from their bilingualism and do better than mono-language kids.

19 months is still very, very young and unless developmental problems are stark it can be difficult to spot which children will need some extra help at this age.

Are you getting any help/working on any ways to teach him to sleep? It might all seem less worrying if you were all getting a bit more sleep...

scummymummy · 17/06/2012 20:53

x post with mrsdv re bilingualism

naturalbaby · 17/06/2012 21:09

I've also heard that bilingual children take longer to talk, so wouldn't worry about that.
You can have whatever sleeping arrangements you want, it's nothing to be embarrassed about! The only time it's a problem is if it's a problem for you and your family. The sleep section on MN is great for helping with sleep issues, if it's an issue you want to deal with - we can help you if you want to change his sleep habits.

If you are worried then there's nothing wrong with getting him checked out but it is often a case of watching and waiting at this age.

JulieScrumptious · 17/06/2012 21:10

No, no help :( DS has just gone off.

That does make sense MrsDV, thanks.

I thought the bilingual thing was supposed to have been a red herring? Something about kids being declared 'behind' because they only had X number of words, when in reality they only had X number of words in the language spoken by the assessor. Did I misunderstand that?

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