What time do you put your little ones to bed?

[howah]

I've always put DS who is 18 months old down at 7pm. This is because he will sleep through to 7.30am no matter what time we put him down, so want to give him as many hours as poss. Plus he sleeps through if he isn't over tired. But most importantly so that I can have some semblance of an evening!

SIL thinks this is too early and moans loudly about it to DP and MIL because it prevents us going out for meals and nights out with the kids. We do let him go later for holidays/special nights out/parties but certainly not every week as SIL would like. We aren't slaves to the routine, just like to eat and be home with Ds tucked up at a reasonable time.

Her children don't have a set bedtime and fall asleep in the car, peoples sofa's, pushchair etc most nights. They woke up from their naps today at 6pm. Our approaches are so different and she cannot see our side at all.

DP agrees with me and we have suggested sunday lunch of around 2pm instead of a late sunday dinner at 8 if she really wants us all to eat together (but no! too early for her!) Sigh!

It did make me wonder what time other people put their kids down. Is 7pm really early? Any input would be helpful :)

DS is 4.5 and is still in bed by 7:00pm most nights. Occasionally he stays up late but I am a firm believer of having a set bedtime and children getting enough sleep no matter what anyone thinks

FWIW I would stick to your guns, do what is right for you and DS and try to shrug off the comments and remarks.

My youngest is 2 and generally goes down between 630pm and 7pm and wakes up at 7am - he needs a lot of sleep so we oblige. We will bend the rules occasionally for a family party etc and will just give him a nap in the afternoon but generally we try to stick to the routine. I don't think yabu - everyone is different and you are entitled to have a routine that works for your own child.

DD is 4.4 and is in bed by 6.30 - 7pm

DS (6.10) is in asleep by 8.15 or so but has been in his room since 7.30 ish reading/playing quietly.

Ha. She'd go mental at our routine. My DS who is 18 months is in bed and asleep by 6-6:30. If he hasn't had much of a nap he has been known to go to bed at 5pm. It sucks because it means I don't get to see much of him after work but he's miserable if you try and keep him up. If we're at my parents though he sleeps longer during the day and then stays up a bit later.

I don't really think it's her business. You're doing what works for you and your family. My SIL also has little routine and puts her DS to bed whenever but she would never pass comment on what we do.
My DD is 19 months. We used to put her to bed at 7 but in last couple of months have moved to about 7.45. This gives us more time with her particularly during the week when we're working. Also, she's not as tired at 7 as she used to be. She sleeps through til about 6.30/7am.

DD (22mo) goes to bed at 8, it's what suits her.

It's a bit later than you but we still don't go out for meals in the evening as she needs to be winding down from around 6.30. There have been a couple of family things that we've had to miss as we're the only ones with a young child and people seem to forget. Ignore and do what is best for your DS, the one time we gave in and took DD to a meal at 7:30 it literally took us a week to get back into her routine.

I think she's a bit mean complaining about your routine and tbh (disclaimer:I don't know the full story) she seems to do what she does just to make sure she can do what she wants

dd1 is 11
school night its upstairs 8pm, lights out by 9

dd2 and 3 (7 and 5)
school night into bed at 7, can read a book or three, lights out 7.30

weekends are a bit lot less organised

When DS was 18 months we also put him to bed at 7/7.15 or so every night, but things have changed a bit in the last few months (he's now 22 months) and now he goes to bed at more like 8.30 or later. We far preferred the earlier bedtime as it gave us a chance to have a proper evening, but he just won't go to sleep before about 8 at the earliest any more. I read somewhere on here that at this stage you have to choose between naptimes and evenings, and it's so true. I imagine when he drops his nap he will start going to bed much earlier again. By trial and error we have just figured out that if we let him nap, but wake him after 45 minutes, he will go to sleep OK at night (if we left him he would nap for two hours or more).

On the plus side we can now keep him up later for parties/special occasions which is actually quite useful. On holiday a couple of weeks ago we got him into a routine of going to bed at 10.30pm, sleeping till 8.30am, then sleeping from about 2-4pm - bliss on holiday but not right for us back home!

So the gist of what I'm saying is YANBU to put him to bed rigidly at 7, but be prepared for things to change over the next few months as his need for sleep decreases.

I don't think its her business either but she is very outspoken and her way is always right. Even though her kids are quite a handful really and it's because they are so tired all the time! Not their fault at all and it's a shame.

Also, I'm thinking when he gets older I have more lee-way with making bedtime later by starting early. If he asks to stay up later and he's already going to bed at 10pm, there's no where to go is there! [pats future self on back]

Of course it isn't "too early" what a silly thing to say! It clearly suits you extremely well.

Where are you all meant to be eating? Some people would consider putting him down at eg SIL's house at 7 and then trying to drive him home asleep. Some people can't be arsed with that sort of thing.

I like your thinking howah

Both ours have always gone to bed at 7pm. DD is now 8 and goes a little later. But at 18 months - 7pm all the way!! She is BU, not you!

Early bedtimes are a British institution surely!

My (Italian) boyfriend constantly moans that I put the kids to bed too early by his standards. His friends and family think it's fine to let the kids stay up until 11pm until they are knackered and the adults don't notice because they are getting drunker and drunker

My 3 year old is in bed by 7pm if she's been at nursery because she's so tired. On a school night the 10 and 8 year old will be in bed by 9pm.

I would actually consider that surgeon for a party or similar and have attempted it before but had poor results. But if its a very special occasion then its probably ok.

On this occasion we are talking about a packed greek restaurant where the noise level is sky high and everyone is packed in. It takes a long time to eat in this place too because of the many courses.

DD (2.10) has always had a 7.15pm bedtime (if DH doesn't have to work late, his train gets him home at 7, thus allowing him to say goodnight).

However, since DS was born 3m ago, bedtimes have crept later as I have not yet worked out how to get them both fed, bathed and in bed for that time (and I'm looking for tips!). Definitely by 8, though.

DD hasn't napped in the daytime since before she turned 2; she wakes at 7am.

That bedtime seems normal - we sometimes share dinner/bathtime with local friends and my brothers' DDs (same age) and kids' dinner is 5-5.30ish, bath 6ish, storytime then bed. We're not rigid with this routine - e.g. if we're out for the day, a car journey home at 4ish will induce a nap, so we know DD won't go to sleep till 9 or 10 that night- in which case we'd plan in advance to eat together at 7.30ish and make the most of it.

DH and I have 4 siblings between us and all have DC same age as our DD. We've collectively found that extended family meals work best as Sunday brunch or late (3-4pm) lunch - before or after naptime for those who still have naps. We work round the kids rather than the adults...

I assume your SIL's kids don't go to nursery or school yet?!

Yeah, well, 18 month olds don't sleep in packed greek restaurants sadly. Where's that thread about how super the newborn stage is?

Dd is 7 in a few days, goes to bed at 7pm with her brother, but is allowed to stay up until 8pm reading most nights (unless she has been a terror). It's only recently (this last year) that she had been allowed up until 8.

My 4yo will have a 7-7:30 bedtime for as long as I can get away with it! It's the one thing were strict as fuck about right from day 1 - bedtime is 7pm. He's not argued about it yet, doesn't occur to him

My LO is only 7 weeks old...he goes to bed at 7pm, and has a bedtime routine - something I spent a lot of time on at the moment, hopefully so it'll be easier in the future.

I think it's very important for children to have a lot of sleep, and I don't think you're putting yours to bed too early at all.

We dont have set bedtimes, but generally our little one goes to bed about 9pm and wakes up about 7am. Generally between 7-9pm, though sometimes later. She is 12 months old.

My DD is 6mo and goes down between 6 and 6.30. On the odd occassion she has stayed up later, the most recent being when we went for a few days away, she stayed up in the noisy restaurant til 9ish, chewing on bread and having what seemed like a pretty good time. The second night, we went for a pub tea and she slept from 6pm til 9.30 when we went back to the hotel but as we were having a nightcap with SIL and MIL in our bedroom for an hour or two she woke and played for a bit.

Usually she sleeps til 6.30am, has a bottle then goes back down til 8am, but every now and again she rewards us by sleeping til 8am.

My SIL is similar to yours OP, in that she has little to no routine, her DD falls asleep at any time, for any length of time etc and she takes her to bed when they go, around 11pm. DNeice is 8mo.

I am pretty strict on bedtimes as I don't want to jeopardise what we have and DD seems to love going to bed. However we do have people over at the weekend and DD still goes to bed normal time (at 6mo does she even really know whats going on?). If people winge that they want to see her, they need to come round earlier

I was really looking forward to a nice relaxing late lunch too. Now I will be sitting there with narrow eyes watching the clock and thinking you bitch... YOU BITCH instead of enjoying my halloumi kebab.

Her kids don't go to school and I do wonder what will happen then.

When I say 'from day 1' I mean from about 4-5 months old. Any earlier he just slept on me.

Yanbu! My dd is 17 months and her routine is bed at 7, but she will wake at 6 every morning. Over the jubilee weekend we were out late with her a couple if nights, which led to weird nap times and her not being tired at bedtime and kicking off, and then of course I had to go back to work and her to the childminder.... Tbh I'm quite laid back normally but wish I'd have stuck to her routine a bit better! Just do what works for you.

howah do you have anyone who would sit with your DC while you go out for dinner? I've been invited out by SIL for odd mealtimes (6pm...erm....no thanks) and in the end my DMum has done bath bottle bed for DD at my house while DH and I go out. SIL moans that we didnt bring the baby and all I can say is that if it were any earlier we would have brought her.