What time do you put your little ones to bed?

[howah]

I've always put DS who is 18 months old down at 7pm. This is because he will sleep through to 7.30am no matter what time we put him down, so want to give him as many hours as poss. Plus he sleeps through if he isn't over tired. But most importantly so that I can have some semblance of an evening!

SIL thinks this is too early and moans loudly about it to DP and MIL because it prevents us going out for meals and nights out with the kids. We do let him go later for holidays/special nights out/parties but certainly not every week as SIL would like. We aren't slaves to the routine, just like to eat and be home with Ds tucked up at a reasonable time.

Her children don't have a set bedtime and fall asleep in the car, peoples sofa's, pushchair etc most nights. They woke up from their naps today at 6pm. Our approaches are so different and she cannot see our side at all.

DP agrees with me and we have suggested sunday lunch of around 2pm instead of a late sunday dinner at 8 if she really wants us all to eat together (but no! too early for her!) Sigh!

It did make me wonder what time other people put their kids down. Is 7pm really early? Any input would be helpful :)

Mine are a nightmare DS was put to bed at 7.30 and he is still awake now.

Dd fell out of bed and woke up - that means hours of winging (from me) because if she wakes, after even a 5 minute nap - she won't sleep.

Aparently I was the same.

sobs with jealousy at people who have children who SLEEP

Gnocchi, that would be considered unspeakable rudeness as if my mum was free, they would grill me as to why she hadn't come along too! But a good suggestion :)

8pm
DD2 might have happily gone down earlier, but DD1 bounced up and down and was impossible. We quickly learnt that at 8pm she was tired and would sleep. any earlier and she would mess about until she was over tired and couldn't sleep.

at 18 months old some kind of routine is essential. I must confess I get really pissed off with friends who claim 9 year olds are impossible if they do the odd 9-9.30pm. sorry but tiredness as an excuse for being horrid doesn't wash after DCs are out of reception.

7.30-8pm (DS1 2.5, DS2 7mo)

This thread is great, as I have the same issues as you OP re: family, so it's fab to see so many people saying that what we do is fine.

I've got three DN's. Two are brothers and have no bed time. It's not unusual if we are at granny's at the weekend for them to still be up at midnight-1am (they are 4 and 9), eventually falling asleep on the sofa until someone bothers to put them to bed. Their behaviour can get pretty dire. I wonder why that is .

I'm pretty unmovable on my DS's bedtime. This means, like you, we always try and arrange meals for lunchtime or very early evening. Or we don't take them (not really doable now as we have DS2 who will only settle with me ). DH's brothers and my MIL think that we are ridiculous, but we don't care. We have tried to explain to them many times that if we take DS1 to a restaurant in the evening for a meal that's likely to last two hours or so, we will just spend all that time chasing an overtired hyperactive toddler around so it's just not worth it. They still don't get it though!

OP, I feel your pain, but stick to your guns!

6.30pm/7pm for my 2.4 yr old DD and 12 week old twin boys. Wouldn't have it any other way. I get evenings, they get a mummy who is rested and nice during the day and they, in their turn, are much happier.

If I go out for a family meal, it'd be brunch or Sunday lunch. If I want a grown up/adult meal I go out after the kids are in bed and hire a babysitter. I think your SIL is mental

YANBU

Well dd is still awake and screaming - argh - argh - argh.

My three go up about 7.15, asleep by 7.45 for 2 yr old, by 8 for 5 yr old and 8.15 for 7 yr old. Will make it earlier if they're particularly tired. We don't take them out in the evenings except for special occasions.

Had some friends round on weekend with just one child, despite our having put youngest to bed and made several comments about what a late night it was for the other two they didn't leave until 9pm, our older two were practically dead on their feet by then. Apparently their DD does to bed when they do (she's 6 )

I don't think yabu at all.

mine went at 7/7.30 up until about age 7/8 and it gradually lengthened out a bit - mainly due to evening activities and now at almost 11 and 12 I still like to have then in bed by 9.30 and lights out by 10 - obviously they can stay up a bit later on the weekends but they generally get up at 7ish in the morning regardless of when they go to bed so I don't like them up too late or they are just a pain if they haven't had enough sleep.

your routine is fine and as you say, you are happy to break it for special occasions - I'd be a bit concerned if you weren't though.

mine is 2 and a half and always has had a 7pm bedtime and I wouldnt change that for anyone or anything! he sleeps 7-8 like a dream and has done for about 16months or more, doesn't nap during the day though. I've only kept him up till 8pm twice and that was for family do's like Xmas where other people wanted him up/wanted us all somewhere for a meal. I'd rather have a babysitter or being having a meal in someone's house where my DS is upstairs in bed than have chaotic bedtimes. Mine runs up the stairs at 6.55 shouting "my bed! my bed! night night" gleefully as he's always tired by this point as he doesnt catnap and has been very active usually. I think its weird/rude of your SIL to even have an opinion as everyone does different things that work for their family unit! in my family if people want to see my DS as well then it has to be a daytime event and if they want me and DH up late with them having a glass of wine then I need a sitter, I won't drag my little 'un out of a routine thats very good for him :) tell her to put up and shut up, nuff said!

Ds1 is 3 and goes to bed between 7.30 & 8pm. We let him tell us when he's ready and we take him up. This works for us because he's always been asleep before 8 plus it lets us have a little one in one time with him. He sleeps 12/13 hours regardless of what time he goes to bed.

Ds2 is 20months and is in bed asleep at 7pm. Any later than this and he becomes a nightmare. He sleeps until anywhere between 6 & 9am

Ds is six, he's always gone to bed at 8pm since he was a baby. Main reason for this is that we've only ever needed to be up for 8am! Now he's a bit older I let him play in his room for a bit from 8pm and he's usually asleep by 9pm. He is a nightowl and if I let him stay up, would stay up very late but then always sleep around 11hrs. At the weekends or school hols I let him stay up late so that I lie in! This week he's got up as late as 11am! His sleeping patterns do seem quite strange for a young kid, more akin to a teenager. I'm exactly the same as him though, a nightowl!

DS is 20mo and goes to bed at 7pm. He wakes up between 6 and 6.30. As DH gets up at 6 anyway, I'd rather have a longer evening to myself and get up a bit earlier than I really need to.

He also has a 1.5-2hr lunchtime nap. I guess I could cut that down, but I like having the midday break more than I'd want a longer night IYSWIM

Do what suits you and your DS, not your SIL

Same as Zippey, DD is 12mo, she goes when she shows she is tired and ready to sleep somewhere between 8 and 9 - sleeps (with a wake for feed) until 7-8am.

By 7 she won't have finished dinner generally, seems really early - but I guess it gives you lots of peaceful time without children around?

FFG I guess that like adults, children do just have different body clocks. Some are night owls, some are larks, and some just need more sleep than others.

WhenDS was 3-12 mo I used to struggle to keep him awake past 6pm (I kid you not and you're right it was a bit of a crazy rush getting home from what we were doing and having time for dinner and bath before he totally melted down). Since he was a newborn he has always slept solidly since 7pm - he woke to feed obviously but I never had evening cluster feeding/ dozing. I'd have to wake him up for a 10pm feed.

But yes, DS's body clock suits us quite well as DH and I are morning people so lucky that he inherited it and I do love having that 7-10pm time to myself.

I didn't have any babysitting so my DDs learnt to be pleasant till about 10pm reasonably young, probably before they started school.

The never in bed before 8, DD1 is a natural night owl and would stay up late no trouble.

DD1 is 11 and is lovely till 10.30 exactly then falls a sleep. (unless the world is very exciting).

As I said routine is fine, being a total slave to one can be very rude.

Also DDS who know are used to the odd late night and know it isn't an excuse for silliness are lovely to take on holiday.
(remembers toddler screaming for two hours on transfer bus. Why had they booked that flight if their little darling didn't do late nights?)

I do exactly what you do with the exception of my 20 month DD going to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm. It was even earlier when she was smaller. I also had people calling me weird and that I was a slave to the routine etc. etc. etc. I can proudly say that YES I am a slave to it because it works perfectly for me and most of all for DD. At around 8pm she asks for 'night night?' I put her to bed, she waves at me and goes to sleep. I have had to take quite a lot of criticism from family and friends over this. I find it crazy that people would make comments like that despite the fact that your baby is very happy. So, just do what you do as it clearly works and try to ignore everything else. This is what I have had to do on many occasions.

Now I'm hoping someone here can stop me from going clinically insane here. I put my 8 month old twins to bed at 7.30pm and they wake around 6.30 (one wakes up twice in the night but let's ignore that for now). My MIL tells me I should put them to bed at 6pm and they will still wake up at the same time i.e. 6.30 am. She said they will just sleep longer and you'd think they'd wake earlier but that's not how babies work. AIBU in thinking she's barking mad?

Well, I wouldnt say shes barking mad BUT I wouldnt take what she says as certain.

My sil put her dd to bed at 11pm and she woke at 7am. She wanted to get her to bed earlier so I suggested each week put her to bed 15mns earlier. They are now putting her down at 9pm and she still wakes at 7, so its not totally absurd. However, what would be absurd is for MIL to expect you to folliw her advice when you arebt bothered about putting your dc to bed any earlier. 7.30 seems like a perfectly sensible bedtime.

7 for my 3.8 year old.

Well, usually more like 7.30 by the time we've done teeth, stories etc :) He doesn't nap in the day and we need to be up at 7.30am for nursery so any later and he struggles a bit the next day.

When he was younger he often had a later bedtime due to either naps or getting up later in he morning, but we didn't have to be anywhere so it was okay.

I aim to get my ds, aged 4, to bed at 7.30pm. That is, lights out, say good-night and have left the room for him to settle, by 7:30pm. It doesn't always work out like that (some nights I am running behind) and last night despite him being in bed by 7:30 he was up and down out of bed and couldn't get to sleep until 9:15pm!

He is up at 6:00am every day.

I should add OP, that my ds doen't like to have disturbed sleep, He gets hysterical if woken from his sleep, So wherever he goes to sleep, he stays for the remainder of the night. We have never taken him out at night, let him sleep in the car, or at someones house etc and then taken him home to bed. It would never work for us.

Equally I have always beleived in a regular bedtime for him - it's what he needs. So we don't go to events with him that would make his bedtime very late or cause him a disturbed night.

We have just turned down am invite from in-laws for an event for bil birthday. I'm sure they thing we are being unreasonable because the event is from 6-8pm. But it will take us 2 hours drive each way, so ds will not be in bed before about 11pm. They think thats fine because "he's getting older and it's only on this one occasion". But, for ds, right now, it's not fine. So DH is going by himself and I will stay home with DS :)

GND many thanks!

DD (2) goes down between 6.30pm and 7 and gets up between 6.30-7am. This bedtime has been since she was 3 weeks old and has always worked v well for us and for the most part she has always slept extremely well. Also, and I think of equal importance DH and I get our evenings and some alone time to eat a meal watch a film. I am loathe to deviate from our routine because it just isn't worth it - she gets overtired and grumpy and no-one enjoys it!

2.9 yo DD3 goes to bed at 8:30-9. Wakes up at 6:30- 7. Has done pretty much the same since 3mo. (although she wakes up more now in the night than she did then). All my children have had pretty much the same pattern, barring illness.