Got an 18mo (or thereabouts) and want to swap war stories

[smellsofsick]

What an interesting age! DD is either really sunny, eating like a horse being hilarious or refusing food and clinging like a limpit. I can see why there are so many toddler taming books out there now.

Today, I think we're back in the teething phase and I can't put her down to make a cup of tea. Not complaining mind, just be reassuring to hear any similar stories and any top tips. I'd hit the gin but I'm also 11wks pregnant with DC2. Why, I ask myself, why?

DS2 is 17 months and is still 99% a delight, but I did find him 'cleaning' the floor with the toilet brush this morning...

Doesn't speak except Papa, tatoe (potato) and Uzz Ighyeeeah (Buzz Lightyear-thanks DS1)

And don't even talk to me about sleep-if I'm not in the bed he won't do it.

Wow, what have we done? I have ds10m.o, am now v. Concerned about what comes next and also wanted to ask, as so many of you are pg, when is the 'best' time to have dc2? If there ever is a best time?

when is the 'best' time to have dc2

Ah, now that is a question (amongst many others) that MN will never be able to agree on- think it depends a lot on your personal circumstances, financial situation, work, what your DC1 is like, what your personal experiences of siblings are etc.

eg DH and I both come from "small gap" families- me and my sis are 15mo apart. DH has a sister 15mo older and a brother 18mo younger. Therefore smallish gaps are "the norm" to us, and we've both had good experiences of having those gaps (bar sibling squabbling). DC1 is reasonably easy (has his moments but sleeps thru in own bed, not very clingy etc)

Also, I am 37 now and we definitely wanted two, so didn't want to leave DC2 much longer (22mo gap is fine) and also I kind of want them to grow up in parallel so we get to a stage reasonably quickly where both are a bit more independent and we can get out and about without nappies/naps etc being an issue and also so they can share more experiences together.

However, I have friends who wanted to wait till DC1 was in school to have DC2, so that they'd be able to enjoy the pre-school bit in full with DC2, so that works for some people.

Yeah age (mine) is part of why we've gone for it. We'll have a two year age gap but also we just figure we're knackered from running around after her anyway so we may as well get it over and done with and get the toddler years out of the way while we've still got our youth (and sanity!).

Hi KatMN, it is going well thanks, so much better than last time I tried! No soggy carpet yet.... Stickers as bribery, and as long as I remind her often enough, we are ok.
Plus I am so much more chilled out, am not recording failures at all. Just carrying round a suitcase of spare clothes!

24 months between our two DDs and it has been good for us (DD2 is now 19 months). For us it means they are close enough to do things together without too much of a problem.

@SmileItsSunny

Hi KatMN, it is going well thanks, so much better than last time I tried! No soggy carpet yet.... Stickers as bribery, and as long as I remind her often enough, we are ok. Plus I am so much more chilled out, am not recording failures at all. Just carrying round a suitcase of spare clothes!

Glad it's going well for you, and totally agree that bribery seems to be the only way to get them sustain interest! Hope you have some in the fridge for the end of the day, I sure do..

So glad my dd isnt the only little terror.

Dd is 20 months - she is evil a real handful. Bullies her brother, throws things, tries to kick the dog, does the jelly legs thing, has full on lying on the floor kicking and screaming tantrums, makes herself sick at will etc etc.

BUT

She is also very funny and cute and incredible and cuddles her brother and waves and says 'ello to the dog about a million times a day.

She is a MUCH better eater and sleeper than her brother was at this age but she is so much more stubborn and determined and bloody minded. Its hard work.

Re the age gap - we have a 3 1/2 yr age gap and its been perfect. We probably would have had a smaller gap if i hadnt had hyperemesis quite severely but actually they adore each other and when ds started school dd was just starting to walk and i feel like ive had quality time with both of them as toddlers.

I think how close you have them is a very personal thing. We intended to wait 2 years before ttc no 2 but had a pg 'scare' when DD was 5 mths and thought actually why not do it now and get the nappies/sterilising bit over and done with quicker. So there's not quite 16 mths between them and the youngest is 16 mths now. They alternate between driving me crazy fighting and filling me with delight playing together and hugging. However I have a friend who is about to have DC2 and her DD is just 3 and I can see some advantages to the first one being a bit older when you're trying to deal with a newborn. I ended up stopping breast feeding DS at 6 wks mainly because I couldn't give it the time needed because DD wasn't independent enough.

I'm sooooo pleased to have found this thread.... We were going to have such a lovely bank holiday week, and I'm on leave too!
But DD (16mths) has had other ideas - refusing all food, or spitting it out, or worst is lulling mummy into false sense of security by eating it then coughing/vomiting it back up a few minutes later. And she used to eat absolutely everything and with such gusto too
And I think she is teething, and trying to change from two sleep strategy to one sleep. Unfortunately I hate change and like routine so this is a steep learning curve for me too.
I think my only advice can be to go with the flow, although I wish it were pimms that was flowing, but a) we're trying to conceive again (why oh why?), and b) it's not sunny or BBQ weather so it will have to be hot chocolate instead

Marking my spot- have 21mo DD, am pg with Dc2 due in 8 weeks, giving us a 23 mo age gap. No idea if that's good or not. Guess we'll find out!

Would kill for most days!! Bath time esp hair washing is hell, still takes ages to settle at night, picky with food, contrary to point of ridiculousness, worlds slowest dawdler, the list goes on!!

Am too knackered to read any of the toddler booksive bought, so any tips very gratefully received!!!

*books I've bought

I flicked through "Toddler Taming" that my MIL thoughtfully gave me for Christmas . The overriding message seems to be "Pick your battles. It will pass."

Joining the thread with my 19 month old DS who has decided to start waking in the middle of the night after sleeping through from 8 weeks. Fussy eater as well. Tantrums galore, particularly if he can't have anything he is not meant to have - my phone, DH's phone, vacuum, iPad, laptop....etc etc etc. It' exhausting.

So - those who have toddlers before? When does it get easier?? I am struggling bit time! And we are not even going to contemplate a second until this gets easier and he starts sleeping again.....

I'll join in too with my 17month old who is usually really easy going but i think he may have hayfever and its turning him into a huge grumpy pants and really affecting my his sleep! The last few nights he has been up at least 7/8 times in the night and im truely knackered. At least mil is taken him for a week in a fortnight, and Im just tooooo excited about closing my eyes at bedtime and not waking up till the alarm goes off!

He has also just discovered the art of spitting. Well, its not really spitting as such, more deliberate slivering, just letting drool escape from his mouth and onto whatever. Everywhere and all the time.

Unfortunately it seems to go in phases and cycles. As DD (32 mths) gets through one phase and we breathe a sigh of relief, within a few weeks she's driving us crazy with something else. And can now identify that 16mth DS is going through the same pattern as she did. If you wait for an angel 24/7 before you have number 2 you will wait a very long time Its more a case of take a deep breath and throw yourself in the deep-end!

Oh gosh, shouldnt have read this!! Just found out im pg with DC2. DD is 11 months and will be 18 months when new baby is born (and ill be in the middle of my third year at uni).

Wish me luck........

This thread is so heartwarming, it's made me laugh so much. You've just gotta love 'em, little tykes!

emmylou we had exactly the same with DS suddenly not sleeping through at 18 months after being perfect from 8 weeks. Two months later now 20 mths old he's back to sleeping through - never found the reason and we tried all kinds of techniques - just hold on it will pass!

"This too will pass" should be the motto for this thread!

Ok, so since I posted last time DS (15 months) has turned into a clingy little monkey. He just can't be by himself for longer than a few minutes (if that). This morning I left him by the stairgate whilst I nipped upstairs for a mo and he spent the WHOLE time shouting 'maamaaaaa' and wailing despite the fact DH was downstairs with him. He'll come and climb on me and refuse to play unless I'm playing with him. He hates him car seat and wants to be climbing over my head on my lap even in the car. It's actually sweet, if I weren't so damn knackered from the pregnancy (first trimester) and dread how he's going to be when DC2 comes long. I know it might be a phase, but please God, let it pass quick. Mega draining...

:(

Oh fab thread!

Dd is 18 months, pg with dc2 due in 8 weeks so will be just under a 20 month age gap. Prepared for a year of he'll then hopefully things will calm down!

Just checking in. Feel a bit mean. It looks like my non eating, non sleeping, temperamental toddler was sickening for something! Now I feel like naughty mummy! But it's so hard to tell

Thanks jujumum! Last night he slept through last night but it seems to change from day to day. For the life of us we can't figure out why and we also don't know what to do. People keep telling us to let him cry but he gets hysterical. So we resort to giving him a bottle and on Friday night he fell asleep in our bed which is the first time ever. So we are pretty much doing everything they say you aren't meant to do...

Laulu - but it must become easier at some point surely???

Emmyloo I certainly hope so too!! At least we can take comfort from the fact that this thread shows our crazy, irrational, adorable, hilarious toddlers are actually apparently perfectly normal! And as for you doing all the things 'they' say you shouldn't; I'm a firm believer that if it works for you and gives you more sleep/less stress/a better grip on your marbles then go with it for now!

ishop I'm going to have a 23m age gap. Also battening down the hatches for a year of hell....trying to appreciate the time we have now, even if DS can push all my buttons in a big way! The unknown of how DS will react to DC2 makes me anxious, and I feel bad that neither child will get the same level of attention that DS got for the first nearly 2yrs of his life (which, I suppose, he won't remember!). So many wonderful things to make yourself feel bad about aren't there