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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Son age 3.5 not dry at night

33 replies

Eddie123 · 28/05/2012 20:52

Hi, my son is 3.5 and has been toilet trained for about a year. However, he wets his pull up at night time about 50% of the time. He says that he does not know he is doing it. Should I be concerned that he's not dry at night yet? I'm guessing I shouldn't be but advice/reassurance would be much appreciated! Thanks

OP posts:

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CMOTDibbler · 28/05/2012 20:55

Relax - many children aren't dry at night until 5,6,7 or older. My ds is only just dry at night, and he's just turned 6. It just happened without me doing anything

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 28/05/2012 20:57

No,you shouldn't be at all concerned.

Health professionals often won't give it any thought until the child is about 6-8 years old.

magso · 28/05/2012 20:57

3.5 is still very young to be fully dry at night. I forget the statistics but the specialist eneurisis clinics will not take referrals till children are 7.5.

coffeewhitenosugar · 28/05/2012 20:58

Hi, My neice wasn't dry until she was 6 or 7 and apparently that is quite normal - they were told if she wasn't dry at night after that she might need tests but she was soon after, also, listening to parents talking at the school gate it seems lots aren't dry at night before 4. I expect other people will answer with better advice but I just wanted to put your mind at rest.

AngryFeet · 28/05/2012 20:59

Oh god don't worry about that. Dd is 7.5 and only got there this week. I kept her in pullups as the washing did my head in and I really thought she would never get there but she has . Both my kids weren't even dry in the day at 3.5. Forget about it. They wouldn't even refer him till 7 about this so it is not an issue

AKE2012 · 28/05/2012 21:00

My child didnt come out of night nappies til nearly 4 yrs. I knw some people who were still wet at primary school. I say give him another few months mayb a reward chart n if that still doesnt help id try the docs to rule out anything internal. If all comes back fine then i wouldnt worry as he will grow out of it.
He says that he doesnt know but mayb he thinks that he might get into trouble so a reward chart will let u know if he is telling the truth.
Despite what the books say theres not a set age for dry nights.

purpleroses · 28/05/2012 21:01

My DS didn't manage it til around 4.5. He was just a deep sleeper. What worked in the end was to let him sleep with only a PJ top on and a potty in the bedroom - so he could wake and use it in the night. But that wasn't til he was 4.5.

(DD on the other hand did it effortlessly at 2.0 and I didn't do anything different with her, so don't think it's anything you're doing wrong - kids are just different)

losttheflickumdickumagain · 28/05/2012 21:07

My ds2 is 3.5, and we were having the same problem (if you can call it that because it isn't when they're so young), but it was upsetting my ds. He didn't want to wear nappies for bed, but he got upset when he had an accident. A friend of mine that works in a nursery suggested we carry him to the toilet just before we go to bed. So far it's worked a treat, he still stays sleepy (I completely do everything for him so he hasn't got to), and snuggles straight back to sleep.

It's worked for us so far, it's just an idea if you want to try it .

shattereddreams · 28/05/2012 21:07

Dd 5 was sobbing her heart out tonight that nappies are for babies. Broke my heart. She has let me double sheet the bed but I fully expect it to be wet by 3am
There is a site called Eric which is good to read and reassuring

shattereddreams · 28/05/2012 21:07

shattereddreams · 28/05/2012 21:08

Sorry, phone switched from wireless to 3G and posted twice ?!?

EightiesChick · 28/05/2012 21:10

I would not be at all concerned. Some kids still aren't dry during the day reliably at 3.5. It will happen when it happens. I know a 4 yo still wearing pull ups at night time. I wouldn't treat it as a big deal.

EightiesChick · 28/05/2012 21:11

shattereddreams can you get her any nice pull ups that will mollify her? (you've prob tried I know)

culturemulcher · 28/05/2012 21:12

CMOT I'd love a bit of advice. DS has just turned 5 and has never had a dry night. Could I PM you?

AThingInYourLife · 28/05/2012 21:15

DD1 was 4 when she started being dry enough to stop wearing pull ups.

She was dying to not have to wear them any more, so we had a couple of tries.

Most nights if she needed a wee she would wake up and get up and use the potty we left in her room for night time weeing.

But some nights she would just wee in sleep and be so upset about it :(

Convincing her that it didn't matter and that she'd learn when she was ready was a bit of a job.

earlyriser · 28/05/2012 21:17

Don't worry

I'm pretty sure i read somewhere (probably on MN!) that hormones are responsible for night dryness, and until the body starts producing the hormone that reduces the amount of times the bladder needs emptying or is it the amount of urine produced? (hmmm, on slightly shaky ground here trying to remember correctly) anyways, until that hormone is produced the child won't be reliably dry at night. It varies considerably in children the age that this happens.

You can always reduce liquid intake from teatime onward too, which may help.

fivegomadindorset · 28/05/2012 21:17

DS is dry at nearly 4, well night 3 so far so good, DD still in nappies at 6.5, so every child is different.

AThingInYourLife · 28/05/2012 21:18

"Dd 5 was sobbing her heart out tonight that nappies are for babies."

Awww, poor little pet :(

earlyriser · 28/05/2012 21:19

This might actually be a good thing to try and explain to older children who aren't dry at night, that is nothing they are doing 'wrong' just that their body isn't ready to be dry at night just yet.

shattereddreams · 28/05/2012 21:20

We have tried everything.
DH has cousin who wasn't dry till she was 13 so I'm fearful it's gene related.
No to princess pull ups, she cries when she wees on her fave princesses.
And they cost too much, I buy size 6 pull ups as she is skinny

Poor girl

CMOTDibbler · 28/05/2012 21:20

No problem Culture

kri · 28/05/2012 21:20

My son potty trained himself at 2 1/2 and on just got out of nappies at 4 1/2 , I think they do it in there own time. I started to use the technique lifting - ( I believed it was used years ago) My son would wake in the night in pull ups and ask to go to the toilet, so I would lift him onto the loo and then he would go straight back to sleep. I was told off by the childminder that lifting was bad, but what I found was that it helped him get used to gradually go through the night, then after a few months he could last the whole night with out getting up. Every childs experience is different and unique to them I think.

HandMadeTail · 28/05/2012 21:23

None of my DCs were dry before about 6 or 7.

Hurrah for pull ups, I say!

Btw, if you reduce liquid intake, it can make the urine more concentrated, which can irritate the bladder, and actually make them more likely to wee.

Millie1 · 28/05/2012 21:24

My DTs have just turned 4 and aren't dry at night so this thread is a really reassuring read - thanks! DS's on the other hand were out of nappies before they were 3. I guess they're all different!

brawhen · 28/05/2012 21:29

DS2 is 3.5 exactly and is wet 90% of nights (in pull-ups). I don't think it's at all unusual.

DS1 was was almost always dry at night from about 20 months (way before daytime trained)...

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