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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

what does a toddler need to be able to do to start pre-school?

38 replies

brightonbleach · 25/05/2012 08:37

hi all :) my question is just that really, my one and only DS will be starting pre-school in sept when he will be 2 and 3/4, for those of you who have done pre-school I'm wondering in your experience what do they need to be able to do etc when they go? what will the school expect? and, yes, I have a parents meeting with them before he starts, I'm just wanting other parents real opinions and tips as a heads-up, this will give me time if theres anything I need to get working on...! thanks loads...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BertieBotts · 25/05/2012 08:43

Potty training is the big one, really. Everything else they kind of pick up as they go along.

Chundle · 25/05/2012 08:59

In fact they don't even need to be potty trained. No pre school is allowed to turn your child away if they are still nappies.

Mobly · 25/05/2012 13:55

They prefer them to be potty trained though- for obvious reasons!

My ds's pre-school doesn't take children until after their 3rd bday though so slightly more reasonable.

I don't think they really need to be able to anything, they learn it all there. They learn lys of self care skills like putting on their coat & shoes, brushing their teeth etc. Social skills such as sharing, taking turns.

Original poster

brightonbleach · 25/05/2012 17:14

thanks guys, that sounds great - you know when you wonder if you're teaching them any practical life skills when you're running round the garden chasing bubbles or making up stoopid songs or flopping in the sand pit...?? I suddenly thought, gawd, what if I havent really prepared him for 'school'. don't we worry an awful lot these days.

he isnt potty or toilet trained yet, but at 2 and a half I'm only just starting to consider that the time might be coming up soon to do that... :) we're going to aim for before september then! our pre-school did say that they prefer if they are toilet trained, but as they take them from 2 and a half I assume they can't enforce that?!?! plus its only 3hr sessions anyway.

thanks y'all :)

OP posts:

IcantSleep · 25/05/2012 19:29

My DD starts in September as well, and she will be 2 and 3/4 when she starts. The one thing I have been told from my friend is that it is helpful if they can recognise their own name when it is written down (for their coat peg etc?) but I don't think it's essential.
We haven't started potty training either yet, am hoping to start next month but as you thought, it is a preference that they are dry rather than a necessity. (at least at our pre school anyway)

CravingSleep · 25/05/2012 19:37

Mine learnt to recognise her name because it was on her coat peg, they pick a name card up as they go in etc. Potty training - we'd tried a few times before pre-school but with little success. Pre-school were fine about it as I think they wait until the child is 3 before they suggest trying to the parent - after a few weeks at pre-school and hearing the others asking to go to the toilet - she came home and told me she was going to use pants now thankyou very much. Sometimes peer-pressure can be good!

So I would say very little pre pre-school!

Iggly · 25/05/2012 19:40

Our local pre school want DS to be potty trained before starting.

I've seen a few people say that kids can't be turned down if in nappies, but this place effectively is - how can they do that? Where does it say it isn't allowed?

sparkles281 · 25/05/2012 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

discobeads · 25/05/2012 19:53

I ditto what sparkles says - our preschool has up to 40 children in it each day. Imagine if a lot of those were in nappies? The staff would have very little time to do anything except change nappies. We would also hope that as well as being out of nappies, the children could communicate in some way that they needed to go to the toilet - eg when we are outside playing.

finding their own coats/bags and feeding themselves (if there for meals) also important, though I would hope that most 3 year olds could do these things, even with SEN.

bootus · 25/05/2012 19:56

My ds started at 2.5 and wasn't potty trained (it took a looooong time), his pre school were not in the slightest bit bothered and actually actively encouraged me not to stress him out with it and felt he would show signs when he was properly ready. All fine now and no stress at all.

cate16 · 25/05/2012 20:05

I would far rather a child coming to my pre-school was still in nappies if they weren't ready for potty training, than being forced into knickers/pants before they are fully ready!
Easier and quicker to change a nappy than deal with multiple 'accidents'.........
We never pressure our parents/carers, and usually once the children start and see others using the toilet they soon want to too. We then work with the parents.

CravingSleep · 25/05/2012 20:20

I think that those above expecting toilet-training are also expecting the children to be 3+ (ie the year directly before school, a nursery year). Around here pre-schools will take from the year before, so for example we did a couple of mornings a week from 2 yr 9 and will go 4 mornings at 3 1/2. This kind of pre-school with effectively 2 "years" will be taking children under 3 and seem to not expect toilet training until 3.

MegBusset · 25/05/2012 20:29

DS1 was in nappies for the first eight months of preschool and they were absolutely fine with it. I wouldn't go with a preschool that tried to rush it before they were ready. DS1 hardly ever needed a change in the 3 hours he was there, and when he trained (at 3.2) he didn't have a single accident at preschool. DS2 otoh trained at 2.6 just before starting preschool (his choice not mine!) and now (at 3.2) still has the occasional accident so is probably more work for the staff to change than if he was still in nappies!

discobeads · 25/05/2012 22:00

I agree, I should have said, we are in a nursery and so children do not go up to pre-school unles they are at least 3. sorry not to have mentioned that

DanceToTheIslandBeat · 25/05/2012 22:34

My dd is not potty trained and preschool are fine with it - they take from 2 though.

FunnyLovesTheJubilee · 25/05/2012 22:40

DS1 could count to 100, could write his name and read a basic book, he could make his own lunch and eat with a knife and fork, he could name 50 types of flora and fauna and identify 6 planets.

Oh wait a moment, no thats the wonder child in my head. My child couldn't do anything, not even hold a pencil and that was at 3.5. he was potty trained though

Rubirosa · 25/05/2012 22:41

I work with 2-3 year olds. We don't expect them to be toilet trained.

We do expect them to be able to feed themselves with a fork and spoon and be able to drink from an open cup.

We expect them to be willing/able to sit at a table for meals.

It helps if they recognise their photo as we put names and photos on coatpegs/drinking bottles etc.

Nothing else really.

AngelDog · 28/05/2012 15:20

Wow, that's interesting, Rubirosa. My DS is 2.5 and although he can use a fork & spoon, he doesn't (except for yoghurt). He wouldn't be able to sit at a table for meals either, unless on an adult's lap - or having an adult keep putting him back on after he's climbed off (and wiped his hands all over the seat). Is that not normal?

insancerre · 28/05/2012 15:27

Angeldog it is amazing how different children are when they are with other people.
I work with 2 year olds and I expect them to sit at the table and be able to feed themselves and drink from an open cup. Which they can all do, at nursery that is, no idea what they do at home.

Rubirosa · 28/05/2012 15:30

Depends what you mean by "wouldn't be able to sit at the table"? He just doesn't want to, or he hasn't had any practice at doing so?

If he started at my nursery I'm sure we would just have to remind him to stay in his seat the visit couple of days and then he'd get the hang of it. Some children take a little bit of reminding to keep their hands out of their food too but any who aren't used to it get it pretty quickly.

Rubirosa · 28/05/2012 15:31

visit = first

Ineedalife · 28/05/2012 17:41

I dont think they really need to be able to do anything before preschool. I work in one, we take children who are in nappies, drink from sippy cups, have never sat at the table and definitely cant read their names.

We have high staff ratios to allow us time to change nappies and clothes but we are a non profit making org, so perhaps that is the difference.

We like to think it is our job to be flexible and work with parents while the children move through these milestones.

We use gentle encouragement, modelling and billions of stickers to help us along.

I hope your LO has a lovely time at preschool.

Original poster

brightonbleach · 28/05/2012 18:41

thanks everyone, this has been very helpful indeed, and very reassuring to hear from people who actually work in these places too! lovely, thanks again mnetters :)

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 28/05/2012 21:46

finding their own coats/bags and feeding themselves (if there for meals) also important, though I would hope that most 3 year olds could do these things, even with SEN.

Is that really the case? Ds is not quite 2, but has global developmental delay, I hope he is doing those things, by the time he is 3, but I'm not sure he will be. I am already having a nightmare trying to work out which preschool will be best for him.

FanjoForTheMammasaurus · 28/05/2012 21:53

you cannot generalise SN like that, my DD is 5.7 with SN and wouldn'tknow her own coat if it had her name on it in flashing lights

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