what does a toddler need to be able to do to start pre-school?

[brightonbleach]

hi all :) my question is just that really, my one and only DS will be starting pre-school in sept when he will be 2 and 3/4, for those of you who have done pre-school I'm wondering in your experience what do they need to be able to do etc when they go? what will the school expect? and, yes, I have a parents meeting with them before he starts, I'm just wanting other parents real opinions and tips as a heads-up, this will give me time if theres anything I need to get working on...! thanks loads...

sorry, not really the thread for me but was surprised by that comment

Thanks for the reassurance, rubirosa and insancerre.

DS doesn't really have opportunity to practice sitting on a chair - at toddler groups where children sit on chairs for singing, he prefers to be on my lap.

For meals, he makes so much mess he needs a highchair, full-length sleeved bib, extra piece of fabric between tray & his waist, and a mess mat. He still gets food and drink all down him. On one of the few occasions he has eaten sitting in a chair, my mum had to keep putting him back on his bottom, and remarked that she'd never seen such a mess in all her life.

He's had cutlery since he was about 8 months old but he really isn't interested in using it, other than spoons for yoghurt, and occasionally picking up bits of veg, putting them onto his fork with his hands and then eating them, which kind of defeats the point. We did BLW though so he's always fed himself - just with his fingers.

He can drink from an open cup fine - although at least 50% of the time he needs a change of clothes. That's because he's careless about knocking it or thinks it funny to spill it though, not incompetence (I think).

He's not going to nursery or preschool so at least I don't need to worry about that aspect of it. :)

To be honest I don't think eating nicely/using cutlery is something many children do spontaneously - it's something you have to teach and encourage. I know it's a personal choice, but don't you want to be able to take him out to restaurants or other people's houses by this point?

rubirosa - ds makes an enormous mess eating, and still sits in a high chair - he still eats at other's houses and restaurants!

Your child isn't 2 and has a developmental delay though hazeyjane, which does make things somewhat different.

There was no requirement for DS to be able to eat nicely or anything at his nursery, because it's just a preschool so they don't stay for any meals. They have a snack of some fruit and milk from a carton with a straw, but when they all started the children varied in ability with some being able to pierce their own carton and others squeezing it and getting milk everywhere.

They also only take children from the term after their 3rd birthday so do expect them to be toilet trained. However, DS was still doing poos in a nappy when he started - he wore pants there and just asked for a nappy for poos when he was at home.

They do ask you to provide a change of clothes so any toilet/food/messy play accidents are able to be coped with.

None of the children could recognise their names when they started but they keep them in a consistent format with a little symbol for each child - DS has a frog - and they have little reminders all the time, e.g. the children all have to find their name on a laminated card in the morning and post it into a box, and then they count them all up and wave "hello" to each child in turn which reaffirms the link with the name and the little card. They have their name plus symbol on their pegs and drawers, too.

The whole place is set up so that children who don't have particular skills or experience in certain situations get chance to practice them and are guided gently into the expected way of behaviour. The whole idea of nursery is that no child will be disadvantaged just because he or she doesn't know something yet :) - even the children who ran off and refused to listen to any instructions seem happy and settled now, and there has never been any harsh discipline or anything to achieve this, just gentle guidance.

My child started pre school on their 3rd bday. I managed to get him toilet trained-- including pulling down pants, wiping and washing hands. To put on his coat and recognise his name for his tray and peg. He can take his clothes off.. But can't put them on yet. Hth

To be able to drink out of a cup - at snack time all children drink water/milk out of a basic plastic cup....and its great if they can do this without drowning themselves which then takes that member of staff away from their snack table to change the child into dry clothes.....
Oh and also take some spare clothes to keep on your childs peg, just incase of accidents/wet play

That's interesting, Rubirosa - what I'd read suggested that children learn to use cutlery by copying adults at the point when they decide they want to use it, rather than needing to be taught.

We rarely go to restaurants (can't afford it) and DS usually won't eat the food anyway. At other people's houses we just take his high chair and mess mat - same as we've done since he was 6 months old.

He can recognise (and spell & type!) his name though. :)

Sorry, Rubirosa - I know that it makes it different, i guess I just wanted to point out what Angeldog does in her last post - that being messy and not being able to use cutlery doesn't necessarily preclude going out!

i dont think they need to be able to do much for pre-school do they? if they are potty trained then hopefully they can pull down and up their own pants/trousers!

with regards to drinking i am sure mine could all drink from a cup at that age and re using cuttlery we never taught ours to do it but they always had it on their highchair, we did blw so lots of eating with fingers, my youngest is 17mths and uses a combination of fingers and a fork/spoon, if its something she can stab with the fork easily like pasta ie penne then she will use hte fork, if its not fingers all the way she isnt too good at using the spoon, scoops it up but tends to tip it off before it gets to her mouth! very common i think.

sitting at the table, well she is in a highchair for meals but at a toddler group i go to they have snack time and all the little ones sit round a table with breadsticks, and a drink etc she does it as all the others do, doesnt always stay up at the table mind but she will sit in a chair at the table.

re mess, well depending on the meal she can make a whole heap of mess, we had spaghetti bolognaise the other night i sat her in her highchair in just her nappy! she was covered the long spaghetti is harder for her to eat obviously despite me chopping it up and she ate mainly wiht her hands, but she loved it, i just cleaned her up with a flannel afterwards. some meals she makes hardly any mess at all, so its very variable.

my ds4 is at pre-school he now recognises his name, def learnt that from pre-school and he knows which coat and bag etc are his and lunch box/ drinks bottle, when he gets to pre-school he goes in, takes his lunch box to the lady stood by the kitchen door and then puts his drinks bottle on the little table they have for them, this again is something he has learnt whilst there, but they all do it so they pick it up quickly ie a parent or helper shows them a few times and its amazing what they learn in a short space of time :) ditto at the end of the day when i collect him, he will be sat on the mat and when i go in he knows to go and get his lunch box, drinks bottle and bag etc plus any pictures etc that he has made that day to bring home.

my ds4 started just after his 3rd bday and he wasnt potty trained, it wasnt an issue, he only did half days at first, then once he was potty trained, 3yrs 4mthsish? he started full days, only 2 days a week, i tihnk that is plenty for that age (it was for my children anyway)

its also helpful if they can get their shoes, hats etc on and off, and coats tho thats tricky for many at that age, there is NO pressure to do any of this tho, gentle encouragement and help and lots of praise etc, but def no making an issue of it if they cant do anything, they just get offered help. i guess it all varies according to the pre-school, when my ds2 was little i purposefully didnt use one pre-school as they seemed VERY strict and insistent on the children being very independent to the point that it seemed very regimented etc and the staff seemed harsh ( i spent a morning there with my ds2) anyway i didnt warm to the place so he didnt go! never known another one be like that tho :)

My dgs started preschool aged 2.7. He was potty trained and verbally articulate. He could eat with spoon and fork and drink from a cup. Many DC were not potty trained and it wasn't an issue at all. The staff had a little changing area and were very discreet. Dgs is 3 now and still goes 2 mornings to preschool and 3 mornings to nursery class of primary school. He can write his name and read a few words. He can hold a pencil and draw recognisable pictures however apart from the potty training and eating he has acquired the other skills at school.

angeldog have you tried a booster seat for your LO? They're so great, a cushion with straps so they are securely on the chair and they can't get up and wander off but its more 'big boy' than a highchair. it means they can eat round the table 'like a grown up' and you can take it anywhere as they usually tie to any seat. Mine is wipe-down so I can clean it up easily when pasta sauce gets on it!! :)