what did I do wrong?

[LionsnTigersnBears]

Today DD (22 months) went into a major tantrum at the park. The tantrums are really getting beyond a joke, and I think I'm not handling them well. How can I do better? Here's what happened:

I took DD to play park on her smart trike (no straps to hold her in) which she loves. At the park she got very excited, running around, lots of other kids (she is an only child at the moment. She spotted a very fancy bike belonging to another child parked near hers and tried to get on it. I tried to take her away- pointing to her trike and explaining that the bike she was trying to get on wasn't hers but here is her bike instead. Instantly she's on the ground crying. I try to get her away but she's upset. Finally I have to take her out of the play park into the main park to try to get her to calm down. She stands crying, won't get on her own trike. I don't want to carry her out of the park but everyone is staring and she won't come to me (she's 10 ft away at this point, in clear view but too far away for me). She runs off when I walk towards her. I have chase her in the park and finally catch her and carry her to the exit. She cries angrily all the way home (10 mins on a trike).

What can I do? This happens several times a day whenever she can't have something she wants. How can I be better at this?

I remember the first time I was in the house by myself (someone took the baby outside without me, a real treat!) and thinking: Wow!!! I can HOOVER!.... Oh well. But that was DS1. DS2 ha been TOTALLY different. First children depend on us as companions, don't they?
What's her grudge like, btw?
Oh, and another thing -- I have wondered about DS1 tendency to whine about certain things, and then - to my shock and horror - caught myself doing the same thing!! Surely NOT??? So that was just a polite and gentle hint to check might she get the sulking from anyone in the house (granny, DH...cat, dog? ;) )

I agree with everyone else. You are doing nothing wrong. The worst thing you could have done is to give in (which you didn't). If you give in, your DD will learn that she can make you back down by throwing a tantrum, so she will throw even more- and make them a little more thunderous for good measure.

DS was much worse when tired or hungry, so it might be worth keeping an eye on these things and avoiding potentially difficult situations when she is tired. That said, you still need to stick to your guns even when she is tired....

This phase will pass, and possibly more quickly if you continue to be firm and consistent. Good luck!!

Sounds normal:) my ds never had them but my dd is dreadful. It's taken me a while to realise its when she is tired, hungry, thirsty or all three and I have to keep offering drinks or little snacks. She had one at the shops as she kept running away so I said next time, you have to be strapped in the buggy. She ran, so when I caught her I started to strap her in. Meltdown, and shopkeepers came out all al

Oops! Along the road to see what it was. Still, she hasn't run off since. But people do stare, mainly because they are hoping to get some tips:) I am just kind with her and pick 3 things that are totally no and the rest I can live with for now...

ilovehugs and emmyloo2 I nearly cried when I read your exchange. That's totally how I feel. Everyone else's kids seem so calm
and reasonable compared with my 18m ds. The sandwiches and wotsits really strike chord. As do the tears later on... Oh to have a tranquil wotsit-eater. :)

My kids are older now, but at your stage I found the "Toddler Taming" book by Christopher Green, which my health visitor recommended, really helpful. It is funny, and it doesn't make you feel guilty. Also I have more recently discovered "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk", and that has been really useful with older children, so I wish I could go back in time and try it with my toddlers! Tantrums ARE normal, but it made me calmer to feel I had a strategy.

Mayamama- yes I think it is a first child thing- or at least I'm trying to tell myself that as otherwise it will be an 'only' child thing :-) Her grudges are awesome. I think it is a family trait, but its skipped a generation. I'm lousy with grudges - i get bored or forget that I'm p'd off with someone - but her grandma - oh a different story !!!! The grudges are heartbreaking though, she's trying so hard!

Thanks everyone - its such a reassurance that its not just me !!!!