Is she depressed? Or just very tired?

[MissM]

DD (almost 6) is such hard work at the moment, mainly because everything seems to make her burst into tears. Mornings are horrendous - she spent over 10 minutes putting just her cardigan on today when we were already running late - and evenings are a nightmare. Everything you say to her - whether it's kind, firm, angry, gentle - makes her start crying. She won't do as she's asked to the point that I've asked her so many times that I start to get cross, then shout, which makes her cry again. She argues with me, answers back, shouts at everyone, and yet at the same time she looks so distressed by it all that I desperately want to help her.

I feel like I've exhausted all the strategies. I've tried to ask her what's upsetting her but she says she doesn't know (through tears). I've spoken to her teacher today to see if she's ok at school - teacher says she's very happy but is working incredibly hard. Yesterday I seriously wondered if DD was depressed, as all her behaviour seems to show symptoms. But perhaps she's just very tired and nothing more.

What can I do - I'm so exhausted by the constant battle!

I did speak to her teacher the other morning when she was being unbearable and her teacher was very surprised. Apparently she's working very hard at school, has a good group of friends, is helpful etc. etc. I wonder if it's more the pressure of it all.

Or maybe she thinks she has done something wrong, and is trying to be "very good".

Sometimes kids who are doing well socially at school find it exhausting to keep this up - my dd seemingly cruised through her social life at school but actually when we took a week's holiday in term time she was very worried about how her class would cope without her "peace-making" activities to smooth everything over!!! Needless to say, they managed just fine

I think she realised afterwards that she didn't actually need to frantically try to help heal the myriad temporary social rifts...and felt under less pressure as a result. i would have had no idea about this had it not come out before the holiday!

Nothing to add on the daytime but could I suggest trying some audiobooks for bedtime?

When goign through my exams etc when I was younger I found them brilliant at stopping my brain from just running away with itself. Something I could concentrate on, while in bed, that wouldn't keep me awake but worked brilliantly at keeping my mind off bigger issues.

MissM.I have had another thought.And this may seem a bit way out, but bear with me.One of my DDs used to cry over nothing every so often, and was angry,for about 3 days.She started this at about 9 years old.After a while, we realised it happened once a month.And it has happened once a month ever since.I didnt know this sort of thing happened. In other words, she did not have bleeding but did have the equivalent of mini PMT.
Just another thought, but dont want to distract you if it is indeed something else.

Have been away, hence the silence. Some interesting thoughts. MadameChinLegs - she used to listen to CD stories at bedtime but now she can read herself she's keener to read a little. We do fall back on the CDs from time to time though.

Amillionyears - she's only 5, so I'm assuming it isn't that! Is there any research on young girls having PMT-type experiences when they're too young for periods? Blimey, if it's this bad now god help us when she does start!

MissM.I dont know about whether there is research or not.I didnt bother to look it up, because once my DD did it regularly most months, month in , month out,I didnt see the need.
I agree, 5, almost 6 is very young.Does she act like she is doing for example for 3 days at a time.How is she now as you posted originally on wednesday?

Well she's fine now, lovely in fact. We're at my mum's and she's been an absolute delight. Last week feels like a bad dream - it's hard to imagine that she could have been that way at all!

What's changed? She had a day off school for a training day on Friday so has had three days off, almost exclusively with me, her brother and my mum (DH arrived today). She's had full night's sleeps (although woken very early) and no TV at all. All pressure is off I guess.

You've really got me thinking about the monthly thing though - I shall have to see if there's a pattern.

My DD is like that. At the other times she is a delight.
If it is the monthly thing, you wont have too long to wait to find out.
You will have to see how things pan out. Good luck.