is this a 'normal' level of development in a nearly three year old?

[fullofregrets]

DS is 2.10. I felt he was doing ok (not a genius but about average) until seeing on babycentre people complaining that their children have regressed from being able to count to 100 and will only now write a few letters and can only do 35 piece jigsaw! My DS has never done any of those things let alone repressed from being able to do them!

He can:
Count to 20 by rote.
Touch count to 8
Do some simple addition and subtraction using pictures or objects to 8.
Recognises numbers to 20
Recognises some letters, mostly out of his name.
Spells name aloud by rote.
Knows colours, 2d shapes some 3d shapes etc.
Good vocabulary and I think very good imaginary play.
Recalls stories by heart.
Knows a few words by sight.
Beginning to know opposites.
Very good at identifying emotions and feelings of others.

But he does not:
Do jigsaws. At all. Won't even try.
Do bigger and smaller on a number line (wtf?!)
Draw anything recognizable apart from the occasional face or cat. No interest. None.
Hold pencil properly.
Write any letters or his name.
Know many letter sounds. Only their names.

He just has no interest in writing or drawing. He will paint but that is it.

Think this still falls under normal? I don't want him to be behind when he starts nursery but I can't force him to draw or write. It would probably put him off even more!

well now you have insacerre's alternative curriculum you can forget the jigsaws anyway :)

Sounds very like ds who is 3.8 now. He suddenly got into jigsaws but then went off them some months later. I try to get him to do fine motor stuff simply because I want him to dress himself!

Re nursery - near me the one posh nursery made a thing of doing French and yoga, so all the others had to follow suit. Ds's doesn't take them very seriously, its more an attitude of exposing the kids to all sorts of fun stuff. He now knows there is a place called France where they use different words and a few of them, but the important thing is his class find the session great fun. And get coloured spots on their hands which seems to be the highlight!

oh my bloody god. My DS (2.8) can't do anything of the things in your "he can" list. And he, by the way, is a genius so yours must be the king of the geniuses.

Honestly I think it's more than fine.

Fullo I think you are really over worrying here! Half of those things he will not be actually expected to do by the end of reception!

Ds (2.11) does all the things on your lists except drawing. It's very strange, he's just not interested. I guess it's just not his thing, if I suggest drawing, he writes instead. They can't be good at everything!

Olivetti, I have always hated bloody jigsaws. What is the point? (I went to Oxbridge too!)

I don't think the jigsaws thing matters at all. If you're worrying about his spacial/3d awareness, things like building a train set, putting together duplo or megablox or stickle bricks must be the same kind of thing, surely?

I didn't know fine motor control was linked to dressing themselves - interesting.

Yesterday I bribed him with a smartie and he managed to write the letter t. Which is the first letter in his name. So I will keep encouraging him with the writing.

It's great that he can write a 't', but instead of bribes it might work better long term to focus on learning being fun. Instilling a lifelong love of learning will get him a lot further than pushing him to write his name before his third birthday.

I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves as parents and our children is to avoid comparisons and seek out and praise successes where they arise rather than push for milestones.

I agree with Jnice. He's only 2, he doesn't even need to write his name. I've been really surprised by the number of friends of mine asking for writing practise books for toddlers, when I ask what they want for Christmas etc. Primary school exists to teach reading and writing. It's not like toddlers have many forms to fill in

I just felt better that he probably could do some of these things if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to! I won't force the issue though!

At some point he will want to, I promise. You'll just frustrate yourself and him if you try and push him before he wants to, and make him less likely to want to do these things.

I posted yesterday in books looking for suggestions for my 4yo DS who has just suddenly decided that letters are brilliant and spends all day wandering around telling me the starting sounds of words and pointing out letters and asking me what words say. A month ago he would sullenly concede that he knew the letters in his name (all 3 of them!) and nothing else. The one thing I have learnt parenting him is that he is stubborn, bright and obsessive - so I shouldn't worry or push things on him, but then be prepared to go with it wholeheartedly once he decides it's for him. If I push it he gets really sullen and digs his heels in and will not do a thing. Pushing him is so counterproductive and futile, and frustrates us both, so we just follow his lead now. Maybe your DS is like this; if so you just need to accept that and work with that, as he is unlikely to change and you have years of frustration ahead if you carry on pushing before he's ready!

So long as you make a variety of toys and activities available, and encourage him when he shows an interest, then that is all your job is.

fullof, he does not need to know how to write his name at this age!! There is no need to bribe him to do things he has little interest in doing. When the time is right, he will do it.

Please stop trying to keep up with other people's misrepresentations of what their child can do. They are lying or deluded. Enjoy your little boy while he's little, talk to him and allow him to develop his imagination.

Kids develop at such different speeds, and they often have little developmental spurts. My DS is 4.5 and could barely scribble a few months ago. Now he draws all the time - snails are his current favourite! He loved jigsaws from very early on and did them all the time, but now he shows no interest in them whatsoever. They get things at different times - stay away from those parents on Babycentre!

No, he couldn't do some of these things if he wanted to. I can remember being unable to do a 30 piece jigsaw (and I don't remember anything before my 3rd birthday, many, many years ago) and being really impressed that others could. Well, 6 months later, I could do them just fine, and have even been known to 1,000 piecers (obviously in the days when we had to make our own entertainment). I also remember being unable to draw - only scribble - and being extremely impressed by my parents' efforts. I later went on to Art College and realised that my parents had no artistic talent whatsoever.

I agree with others, if he doesn't like jigsaws, Duplo or Brio are good for developing the same sort of skills. Perhaps we used to do jigsaws because there was so little else to play with. Further back, what was expected of children before the jig saw was invented?

As a kid I HATED jigsaws! My brothers on the other hand, couldn't get enough of them. I still hate them in fact, quite glad that DS isn't interested any more!

Child is not even slightly 'backward'. Not even a little bit.

If he doesn't like jigsaws then bollocks to jigsaws.

Tracing letters and numbers in sand/iPad is 100% fine - good, even - for his age.

There's some good Thomas (the TE) story/activity apps on the iPad which he might enjoy.

cecily what I meant was he would be able to do some of these things if he practiced, not that he would just be able to do all of them straight away! :-)

DS is very able physically. But alas no schools care about that. They care about reading, writing and maths. I was a teacher before being sahm. In the push for sats what do schools cur down on? In year 2 as well ss year 6. They cut down on creative subjects and pe.

But he's not three yet! Seriously, why would you (I mean parents in general, not you specifically, OP) worry about numberlines? I hadn't even heard of a numberline when my older son was 2, and I speak as a mother who taught her second 3 year old to read. Most 2 year olds don't draw pictures. Most don't know any letters. Simple addition is very advanced for your son's age.

So I'm not sure whether you thought he was advanced in some ways and Babycenter alarmed you, or whether you're genuinely worried about his development.

If the former, ignore what you read on message boards, even (perhaps especially!) this one. If it is the the latter, you need to meet more 2 year olds.

I knew my younger son was academically advanced at 3 and 4, but if I had believed everything I read on here, I would have thought him to be the slow side of average. Fortunately, I listened to his teachers and people who knew him.

(PS DS2 had no interest at all in jigsaws. DS2 wouldn't hold a pen until he started school. He is 10 now and generally considered to be a Very Clever Boy.)

I thought he was about average, better at some things than others and weaker at some things than others. Like most children are really, I guess.
But it just seemed that most parents on the boards were saying their children knew all their letters etc and no one was saying 'wow, that's advanced!' It just seemed to be taken as the norm. And then I stupidly started to worry!

And no, numberlines hadn't crossed my mind until seeing someone say that their daughter had started to refuse to identity bigger and smaller on the numberline when she used to do it easily.
And I was a bit hmmm, should I be expecting more from my DS?! Is this what they should be doing? Obviously the consensus here is no!

You really don't need to be worrying here. He's doing absolutely fine for his age.

When DD was a baby I used to get my knickers in a twist because she didn't roll over. At all. Not even when all the other babies were rolling themselves all over the room. She didn't lift her head up, she didn't crawl and she only walked when she was 18 months while all the others were walking at around 1. I got myself in a real state about it. Now she's doing really well at school and despite being one of the younger ones in her year is as normal as they come.

It's all relative with development. Those parents on Babycentre were either lying to keep up with the Joneses or have genuinely gifted children. Remember that if we lived in Scandanavia he wouldn't even be learning to read until he was 7.

When I say 'normal' I mean she's fine in terms of development, ability etc. etc.

DS is very able physically. But alas no schools care about that. They care about reading, writing and maths. I was a teacher before being sahm. In the push for sats what do schools cur down on? In year 2 as well ss year 6. They cut down on creative subjects and pe.

Of course they care about reading, writing and maths; it is their job to teach those things. If the schools focus on those things to the detriment of the rest, all the more reason for you not to spend too much time on them at home. You really shouldn't be worrying about 'SATS' when your child is not yet 3.