is this a 'normal' level of development in a nearly three year old?

[fullofregrets]

DS is 2.10. I felt he was doing ok (not a genius but about average) until seeing on babycentre people complaining that their children have regressed from being able to count to 100 and will only now write a few letters and can only do 35 piece jigsaw! My DS has never done any of those things let alone repressed from being able to do them!

He can:
Count to 20 by rote.
Touch count to 8
Do some simple addition and subtraction using pictures or objects to 8.
Recognises numbers to 20
Recognises some letters, mostly out of his name.
Spells name aloud by rote.
Knows colours, 2d shapes some 3d shapes etc.
Good vocabulary and I think very good imaginary play.
Recalls stories by heart.
Knows a few words by sight.
Beginning to know opposites.
Very good at identifying emotions and feelings of others.

But he does not:
Do jigsaws. At all. Won't even try.
Do bigger and smaller on a number line (wtf?!)
Draw anything recognizable apart from the occasional face or cat. No interest. None.
Hold pencil properly.
Write any letters or his name.
Know many letter sounds. Only their names.

He just has no interest in writing or drawing. He will paint but that is it.

Think this still falls under normal? I don't want him to be behind when he starts nursery but I can't force him to draw or write. It would probably put him off even more!

DS starts school in September & -can't do any of half that stuff.
He's my 4th so I know what "normal" looks like by now, and he's it.

Nothing wrong with using an iPad.

Shows the skills are there, enjoy him an d accept he likes technology!

Ds can poo in a potty and a toilet.

He likes to watch us do jigsaws.

He can count to 10, but quite often ignores no.7. I think the Numtums have put him off.

He knows the cbeebies schedule between 6 and 8am.

He can hold a pen/pencil correctly - which is more than I've ever managed.

He can swear in context ( but we're working on that )

Wouldn't dream of trying adding/subtracting trying to get him to read yet. Besides, I think the Number taker from Numberjacks is going to give him a complex about taking away.

He's 2.7

threading
digging
filling and emptying containers
buliding with bricks/blocks
throwing
playdough
cooking
anything where he has to manipulate things into position using grasping and pincing movements

I sometimes think he won't do things if he thinks he can't. He's always been like it. Even when he was learning to speak I'd hear him whispering the words before saying them aloud. Sometimes I find encouraging him makes him dig his heels in even more. I do worry about school...

When I visited one of the nurseries I'm considering they said 'we do French on Mondays, phonics on Tuesdays, music on Wednesdays...' etc.
I feel a bit sad, as though the part of his childhood where it was just enough that he could walk and talk was coming to an end.
By the end of reception, in two years time, he will be expected to do a whole range of stuff. I must admit part of me doesn't want him to start school until he is five. I sometimes think formal education with small children, particulat boys, is actually a disadvantage. Especially those born later in the school year who have to start after just turning four as opposed to those who are nearly five.

Come to think of it your DS's development sounds completely normal for a nearly 3 year old. In fact, he sounds quite advanced. What is an abnormal development that has happened in recent years, is adults attempting to teach toddlers things that they would normally learn in school. You don't have to send your DS to that nursery. And, they are really not going to learn French if they only do it on Mondays!

cecily I think you are right. There seems to be so much pressure on how quickly they do things I just get caught up in it sometimes. First it is when they'll crawl, then walk, then talk and as they get older it fete worse.

I have two other nurseries to look at. I'm not sure about the first one also because when we went and looked at it the children were being made to sit in silence for three minutes because they'd been noisy (about to do cooking and overexited.) I thought three minutes was quite a long time.

I still wish DS would draw though. And do jigsaws. I can't help it! Will try and focus on all the stuff he can do instead.

insancerre thank you for those ideas.

Op - my dd is 8 and cannot do all of the things your ds can do.
You are worrying over nothing :) (but Im late to the thread and see that people have already told you that!)

You've got nothing to worry about imo. He sounds lovely.

DS didn't like to draw when he was 3. He's 10 now and is actually pretty good at it. He couldn't be bothered with a jigsaw, but now has enough patience to build complicated Lego starships and to read long novels for hours.

Not every child is into drawing and jigsaws, they may grow to enjoy it, they may not, but, honestly, it's not a marker of intelligence, or achievement.

dd1 is 5, and in all the MN-approved proverbial top sets in reception, and cannot do jigsaws at all
TBH unless she has a burning ambition to go on the Krypton Factor I can't imagine it will hold her back

Oh, I see that he can do complicated jigsaws etc on the iPad, so it's just the motor skills that you're worrying about? I would encourage him to paint, play with play dough, help you with cutting soft fruit and veg, cutting cookie shapes, threading etc etc. I know some kids take longer to start writing and drawing, but tbh wait til he's at school and take it from there. My own DS handwriting was horrible and it's just in the last year or so that it became good. Didn't stop him from getting good marks, so

Do not worry.

My DS1 could barely write his name when he started school at the age of 4 years 11 months. He is Year3 now and in all the top sets.

TBH I concentrated on his social skills and pre leraning skills through play at the age of 2,3 and 4. The rest comes later.

If only my average 4yo could do the things on your list I would be completely happy.

Thank you, it is very reassuring to hear from other people. I must resist the urge to hot house!

He is lovely (tiny bit biased) and quite thoughtful. He has been ill this week and I sat up with him. Randomly he said to me 'thank you for looking after me mommy, go sleep now or you'll be tired.'
Socially he is extremely outgoing (don't know where he has had that from) and is happy to share and take turns. He is a fairly kind little boy.

Still won't do bloody jigsaws though.

That's an amazing empathy for a 3yo! How very sweet.

Yes I remind myself of his sweet moments when he is being a pest!
He is quite good at empathising, he often gets upset when characters in books or on tv are upset. Occasionally I've left him watching something on tv and he's appeared inconsolable about something he's seen (last time it was because something had happened to tinkerbell!)
He will also describe music as happy or sad.

The nursery you went to see sounds awful, whatever those dried up old prunes at OFSTED might say. My daughter is in a small, beautiful non-academic feeling nursery where they are encouraged to be happy adjusted children and be outside as much as possible. I always knew that was the type of environment I wanted. Please keep looking :-) Btw as an ex secondary teacher the problem is if they cant read and write when they leave primary school, not when they start!

OP, your DS sounds perfectly normal to me.

Those babycentre people are nuts. What the effing eff have they done to their kids to make them count to 100? And more to the point, why?

I agree I don't like the sound of that first nursery. Keep looking :) there are some lovely ones.

Have to say while we're on the subject of what we could do X years ago, that I was a freakishly early reader (self-propelled, my mother just taught me what I wanted to know), and started school in year 1 at 5 years 9 months but I could not write. At all. I had been reading for 3 years but couldn't write. I went to Oxbridge, so not being able to write till I was nearly 6 didn't exactly hold me back, and my skill levels did not match in any way.

I wouldn't worry as children like doing different things in the same way that adults do. My friend's dd has brilliant writing and loves drawing and jigsaws, but can't climb on a climbing frame and isn't confident in a playground where my DD is.

Writing and doing jigsaws don't show anything other than thats what the child likes to do.

brettgirl that is what I want for DS. I am seeing one later this week that a friend has recommended to me. Apparently they spend a lot of time outside which would suit DS as he is very physical.
The other nursery is rated as ofsted outstanding, but i know that doesn't mean all that much!

I hope your friends daughter is writing her name in cursive writing!!

Yep and also in Latin and mandarin.