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Behaviour/development

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Worried about my son's development, am I paranoid?

33 replies

Wiolla · 08/04/2012 20:52

Hi there, my son is is going to be 1 yo this week.

From the very early days he did not like to be rocked or held in a cuddling position. If you just hold him in a vertical position he is fine. Never liked tummy time and if put on the tummy immediatly flips over on the back. He likes lying on the back simolteniously flapping with his hands and legs. He rolls over quite well and can raise himself on his arms but not on all fours. He does not crawl but I can see sometimes he bottom shuffles. He stands with support and recently started attempts to pull himself up into a standing position with support. We were referred to physio and now do excersises to encourage crawling.

He recognises himself in the mirror, laughs at the familiar songs, can clap his hands, drinks from the beacker and eats fingerfood. He can roll the ball but mainly bashes his other toys with his hands or agains each other. He flips pages of the book and can press buttons on musical toys and books. He does not always respond to his name, but he does look at me when I enter the room and smiles. When he is upset or excited he raisis his arms and does circule gestures. When he plays byhimslef he does not look into my eyes or responds if I call him, but he has good eye contact during feeding and mimics sounds and sometimes faces, expresses joy or anger. He bubbles mama, vava etc and blows raspeberies since he was around 8 m old. He is being raised in the biligual environment.

I am concerned that he may have some delay in his brain development, has anyone had similar experiences with positive outcome?

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Booboostoo · 08/04/2012 21:24

I am sure someone more knowledgeable will pop by soon to reassure you but as far as I know rolling over and crawling are not developmental milestones. Some babies just go straight for walking or do the bum shuffle first without ever crawling and without showing much interest in rolling over.

DD (10 months) is very similar, she will roll if she absolutely has to, but won't do it by herself, doesn't like being on her tummy and shows no interest in crawling.

We are a trilingual household and from what I have read babies raised in more than one languages may take a bit longer to speak but when they do they can say words in both (or all three) languages. So I don't think I would worry about that either.

Wiolla · 08/04/2012 21:53

Thank you for the reassurance. I am just a bit concerned that he does not point at things, does not wave good bye, not sure if he understands commands. maybe the language thing is the key here, hope it is the case, but not that he has mental delays in development. How does your daughter responds to words addressed to her?

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Janoschi · 08/04/2012 22:37

DD is EXACTLY the same. Also bilingual household.

She can't really use a beaker though!

Janoschi · 08/04/2012 22:37

Forgot to add - 11 months old.

daytoday · 09/04/2012 10:36

He does sound absolutely fine.

However, if you are worried then I would thoroughly recommend speaking to a HV or professional - I think it is really important that you are reassured by someone professional. Its a shame to harbour these worries if you don't have too.

I have three children and have noticed a lot less input from professionals with my third child. I think there has been a shift in parenting where, if you are worried you have to seek help. This is a shame, because many of our worries are very minor, but without the reassurance of a professional, they can grow and grow.

He does sound bang on for his age to me. Flapping is so common in babies of this age - as is not waving. The whole pointing thing has become such a worry for parents - but its not about pointing its about wanting to share attention.

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 20:55

thank you all for the reassurance. I will contact my GP asap, but because of the holidays i think they will not see us soon and these worries really make me nervous. sometimes I look at him and he seems fine, but sometimes especially when he is playing with toys it is very difficult to attract his attnetion and I worry if he is ok, for example we took him to a soft play and he was not too keen on the balls and other toys, but was very excited standing opposite the glass door and was laughing and bubbling looking at it for about 30 mins. It made me wonder wether it was ok.

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saintlyjimjams · 09/04/2012 20:59

He still quite young for pointing, but if he isn't pointing to things of interest by 18 months (so another half a lifetime for him) then I would refer.

Not responding to name is the only thing that might concern me - worth getting hearing checked now?

StarlightMcEggsie · 09/04/2012 21:04

Not responding to name and lying on back kicking etc as well as early days of not liking to be cuddled woukd concern me a little as woukd the fact that you are posting about it.

Unfortunately no-one is likely to take your concerns seriously until at least 18 months so I woukd recommend writing down your concerns now and keeping a diary and if you are still worried around 16 months begin to make some noises about referral to a developmental paed.

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 21:21

Yes it does worry me, though there is plenty of interaction during feeding, he likes mimicing sounds and laughs when someone makes faces at him, he playes peek-a-boo,recognases my mum on skype when she says hello and calls his name (does not recognise other people but responds when they call him), smiles and looks when i enter his room. it is my first baby and i do not know what to expect. maybe it is his personality as well. he is turning one tomorrow and i pray he is all right.

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StarlightMcEggsie · 09/04/2012 21:30

The most likely outcome is that there is nothing wrong at all. But given you have some concerns I would keep that diary just in case.

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 21:33

thank you. such a long wait until you know for sure....

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Booboostoo · 09/04/2012 21:35

I am sure your GP will set your mind at rest, best have a chat with him/her.

DD loves mirrors as well, she finds then extremely interesting and even funny. She ocassionally responds to her name, a bit hit and miss I don't think she knows it yet, she doesn't point, but she tries to wave (although not always in response to us waving). I don't think she knows any other words, as in to respond to, but she does get rather excited when I show her a breast!!!

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 21:42

sometimes internet can be a very disturibing tool when you look at symptoms and think your baby have them...thank you for talking to me.

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Wiolla · 09/04/2012 21:46

Breast offer :) I give him a bottle at 11 pm and he is sleeping but as soon as i pick him up opens his mouth:)

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BigRedIndiaRubberBall · 09/04/2012 21:48

Sounds very similar to my 1-year-old DS. He only responds to his name if there's nothing more interesting about, which there often is Smile. Your DS sounds very sociable.

saintlyjimjams · 09/04/2012 21:58

GP's are fairly hopeless with developmental stuff tbh. But you could say to the HV that you are concerned, keeping a diary and will be coming back at 18 months if you are still concerned. Or you could just forget about it until 18 months and assess again (which is what I tried to do with ds3 as I would have been driven mad by worrying between 12 and 18 months iyswim). I did tell the HV that I wanted a referral at 18 months if I wasn't happy (and she agreed that was fair enough).

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 22:17

:) thank you.

Saintlyjimjams, did you get your referral and what was the outcome? If you do not mind telling, why were you concerned?

funny though my in laws came to see their grandson today, they live in Scotland and see him very rarely and said that " he was a very clever chap" and here I am worrying wether he is at least clever:)

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Wiolla · 09/04/2012 22:22

Hmmm i wonder if they really can be so involved into playing with toys at this age? His favourite toy at the moment is a stacker, he does not put it togeter, just bashes the circles agains each other or puts one on the floor and drops the other on on top.

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5318008 · 09/04/2012 22:22

another vote for a hearing check, sensible to consult HV/GP now, and keep a diary

Does DS sit up unaided, Wiolla?

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 22:26

he sits unaided but does not put himself into a sitting position by himself. He holds my fingers and pulls himself up into a sitting position.

I think hearing is not a problem, he looks at sounds and noises around him, loves musical toys.

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saintlyjimjams · 09/04/2012 22:30

DS1 is severely autistic and ds3 had a few signs/red flags (and was obviously very high risk) so I was hawk watching him. But I knew I wouldn't get anyone to take me seriously until 18 months. As it happens by 18 months I was pretty sure he was fine so I didn't bother referring. He's 7 now and totally bonkers but he's NT. I had to put my concerns to the back of my mind as much as possible as it would have driven me mad otherwise.

DS1's main sign of problems was no pointing - but that really isn't a concern until 18 months. Even then the official advice is flag and give an extra month for pointing to develop. A lot of toddlers don't point until quite a bit later than 12 months (ds3 was one of them). Although not liking the tummy can be an issue none of my three liked being on their tummy and it only signalled a problem in one of them. In all these cases it's about a pattern really- a single symptom might be a concern, but it's more like that a pattern of them might be iyswim

Like starlight my main concern in a way would be that you were concerned. If you still have concerns at 18 months then don't be afraid to follow up on them. It's usual for the mother to be way ahead of everyone else. But if you can try to put it to the back of your mind for the next 6 months it might be easier.

The book Babytalk by the late Sally Ward is a great book for ways of encouraging communication and is written for either typical or non-typical development.

Wiolla · 09/04/2012 22:45

thank you. So apart from no pointing all other thing were norm? I will try to pesuade my HV to refer us for check up maybe at Ipan, i think they do it. What do you mean by a pattern?

thank you for recommending the book. I sometimes think he is a bit like that because we were not investing too much time into developing some of these skills. So if we start doing it all the time it should improve.

It is difficult not to worry, especially when all relatives keep asking about his progress and wether he is crawling, walking etc.

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Wiolla · 09/04/2012 22:48

I have two neices one is one months older the other one is one months younger. The youngest is running around, can point parts of the body, speaks a bit and th older one started walking and learnt some words and they all keep asking when we will walk, talk etc...

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saintlyjimjams · 10/04/2012 07:44

You don't need to help develop skills if development is typical tbh - it just comes. Not that it does any harm, but with typical development kids just do stuff. DS1 was my first so I didn't really realise that until ds2 and then (sort of) ds3 just did stuff.

DS1's regressed somewhere around a year old so his early development was fairly typical anyway. In that he played peek a boo, lifted up arms to be be picked up, started with early sort of proto-speech. At 18 months he didn't point (although he did gesture to share interests), couldn't follow a point (a LOOK and point got nothing - I think that was quite a big sign), and lost speech sounds (which have never been regained). So at 12 moths if he saw a duck for example he would say qua- qua- qua- , 12 years later he can't say qua at all. Obviously losing speech sounds is a huge sign - and should always be acted upon. He's always been affectionate and still is. Early physical milestones, reaching, walking, sitting and crawling were met within the late range of normal. (walking at 17 months for example). DS1's regression was mainly in the form of a loss of early speech, but also eating habits changed dramatically.

What I mean by a pattern is that if you see a tick list of developmental red flags any child might have the odd one but it doesn't necessarily mean very much unless it's part of a pattern of other signs. DS2 for example always lined up cars (ds1 never did). That's an ASD sign and I was concerned until I realised he was actually making trains and pretending the line of cars was a train. So the one off tick to 'lines up objects' was meaningless.

But it is also important to bear in mind developmental timings. So not pointing at 12 months isn't really an issue in itself, whereas not pointing at 18 months is.

Wiolla · 10/04/2012 22:38

thank you. I will try to stay calm and wait and see. On his party today, he interacted with the other boy of his age and played with his toys but did not fixate on a particular one. the name thing is still a bit under question, but maybe it is too early for him and when he is involved into the paying with toys he is so absorbed that does not react, so it could be a personality thing. Talked to our physion lady, looks like we have a chance to have an assessment with HV, paedeatrician and physio consultant in one month. Hope it will be ok. ttt

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