Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Too old for Thomas ???

51 replies

Quinnsma · 11/03/2012 17:12

My DS has loved Thomas the Tank Engine for most of his 4 1/2yrs. He has many trains (not all from Thomas) and loves cars, planes etc but Thomas is his old friend !
He was prem and his speech did not come until well past 3 1/2yrs so the colourful characters in the series and in the books were great learning tools etc. His balance is not the best and for which he is commencing physio. Now he is at school some of his schoolmates are calling him a baby because he's a bit wobbly and his speech is a little slower than other kids but he has always been popular and is always laughing and is so kind to other children who are having a problem.
This 'teasing' has gotten to the 'bullying' stage where he is is being pushed off of his scooter, and his bike as they are too 'babyish' (still 3 wheels and with stabilisers etc) we have spoken to his teachers who were horrified and promised to investigate. He now has a bruised mouth where an 7/8 yr old chased him to the back of the shed and punched him in the face !! I am so angry I can't tell you!!!
We are meeting with the school first thing but the question I have for you all is my partner wants us to 'de-Thomas' him, make him fit in with the Nerf/Ben 10 brigade and I feel that my son will view this as a punishment. That it's his problem and his fault that he's not following their lead. The only blessing is that although he knows that they are being mean he doesn't recognise it as bullying yet.

Please help me try to do the right thing it's breaking my heart

OP posts:

ragged · 11/03/2012 17:45

He is not too old, the bullies are the ones at fault. They will pick on him no matter what cool thing he chases, he's always allowed to like what he likes.

I have a 12yo who still quite likes a bit of TtTE, truth be told, no SN or developmental delay, either. It's popular retro with his set to like little kid things like TtTE, Bob the Builder, Blue the Dog, etc.

Firawla · 11/03/2012 17:54

your poor ds! that is horrible. no i wouldn't de-thomas him, if he likes it then let him enjoy it. he's still only 4 1/2 im sure he cant be the only one who still enjoys it? my ds is coming up to 4 & mad about thomas, my 5 yr old nephew still liked it recently, not sure if he still does though
this shouldnt be solved by just trying to make him same as everyone else the school just needs to deal with the bullying properly. otherwise they may just pick on something else?

LadyInPink · 11/03/2012 17:56

Your poor little boy, what a horrid time he's had and how cruel this 7/8 yr old was. I am shocked and horrified at this. My DD is 7 and still loves Cbeebies and Milkshake and watches peppa pig each morning before school, she is not the only one in yr 3 doing this so a 4 yr old watching Thomas is completely normal imo. She only learnt to ride a bike last summer age 6 and again was not the only one - there are still a couple who use stabilisers in Yr 3 with no shame.

You have a lovely normal little boy, please don't doubt that but i am so sorry you have had to go through this. Really hope the school can stamp down on this disgraceful behaviour quickly.

feedthegoat · 11/03/2012 17:57

School needs to come down of them like a ton of bricks.

I don't think your ds is too old. My ds is 6 and still plays with his thomas trains along with Nerf guns, Star Wars and Sylvanian families!

tralalala · 11/03/2012 18:03

That is so upsetting I have a four and a half year old who was playing thomas track this am with his 6 yr old bro.

I hate the way kids are pressured to grow up so fast. ben10 is a pile of shite.

cece · 11/03/2012 18:08

Let him play with his trains. Get the school to sort out the bullies pronto.

schoolchauffeur · 11/03/2012 20:05

Definitely let him keep playing with Thomas! My DS loved his Thomas Trains, station , track etc and even when he was 8 or 9 he would sometimes still get the track out with all the Lego and build a whole load of stuff like houses etc and even his cousin who comes to stay each year for a week and was a year older used to ask for the train set up to age 10- bit of a nostalgia thing for both of them! Now DS ( 14) has it stored and wrapped in the attic "for my kids one day".
And your DS does not need toughening up-he is only 4! Sorry he is having such a hard time- those bullies really need taking in hand.

Tgger · 11/03/2012 20:41

No! My 5 year old has a Thomas lunchbox and there is nothing wrong with liking Thomas at any age. Grrrrr! Horrible bullies. Let him have what he's into. My son wears his Winnie the Pooh t-shirt to parties and children his age don't comment. If older children are bullying they are the ones who need to change. Grrrrrrr, hope the school sort them out pronto.

YouSonOfABitch · 11/03/2012 20:42

My son is 5.3 and still loves thomas! We took him to thomas land for his 5th birthday and his face lit up! He has been teased by older kids about it but doesnt pay any attention. The school need to really sort this out! Thats awful that it happened to your poor son.Also my son still has 3 wheel scooter and stabilisers(thomas ones by the way!)

gaelicsheep · 11/03/2012 20:47

I don't think 4.5 is too old for Thomas. DS is 5.75 and swings from still liking Thomas sometimes, through Cars, Toy Story and, his current obsession, Doctor Who. None of those fit in with the apparent Smurf/Power Rangers obsessions of his friends. Every child is different. And there is nothing wrong with Thomas!

tutu100 · 11/03/2012 20:54

My ds1 is 6 (nearly 7) and is still Thomas mad. Has been since he was 2. He is one of the youngest in his year (year2). A couple of boys said his lunch box was babyish (so I did let him pick a Sponge Bob one as it was on offer at Sainsbury's and he has had the same lunch box for 3 years), but he will still try and take trains to school so it can't really bother him that much.

My ds1 also has terrible balance (no reason for it though) and still can not ride a 2 wheeled scooter. We got him the Maxi-Micro scooter (which was mega expensive but worth every penny) and he loves it. Lots of parents and children have commented on it and a couple of other kids have also now got one.

Don't try and toughen your son up kids grow up so quickly. I look at some of ds1's friends and I'm so pleased my ds1 is happy playing with his lego, trains etc. So many of his friends just seem to be interested in computer games, and already seem to have lost the ability to "play".

thegreylady · 11/03/2012 20:54

My 5 year old dgs still watches Thomas and plays with his Thomas wooden trains.He also loves Star Wars,lego,Cars,Toy Story and very recently Match Attax[?] cards.

Gemtubbs · 11/03/2012 21:15

Feel so angry about bullies. Shame on them. My little boy is 4 and he is still partial to a bit of Thomas the tank. His whole bedroom is Thomas the tank. Hope the school sorts out the horrible bullies and your little boy can be happy to be himself. xx

RedHotPokers · 11/03/2012 21:23

Oh your poor ds. Please don't stop his enjoyment of Thomas. The school should crack down on the bullying, whilst your ds continues to enjoy the toys he loves.

My 5yo has recently 'gone off' peppa pig ad apparently everyone laughed at her when they saw she had a pp vest!

LucyFarinelli · 11/03/2012 21:34

Let him be. It's not his fault he's being picked on. I honestly am aghast with your Dp's response. It's so unjust and totally unnecessary. You'll be setting a negative presedent. I would rather have my DS interested in Thomas than Ben 10 anyday.

If the school don't/can't/won't do anything about these horrid boys. Move schools, maybe one that has SEN TA's to help him along. And possibly report that kid (who punched your DS) for assault.

Good luck

fuzzpig · 11/03/2012 21:41

This is horrific.

And it has nothing whatsoever to do with Thomas, IMO.

Gemtubbs · 11/03/2012 21:42

Redhotpokers - That makes me so sad to hear about the peppa pig vest. She's only 5! I hate peer pressure and the fact that young children can't even express the things that they like any more and are forced to grow up too fast.

CakeMixture · 11/03/2012 21:49

I agree, that is absolutley awful for him.
It is nothing to do with Thomas.

I think its more to do with children behaving badly and not being pulled up on it by the adults around them.

Children should be children!
He is only 4.5 - my ds couldnt ride his bike without stabilisers until he was 8 (and that isnt at all unusual). At 10 he is still happy to play with 'brio' railway track - we had a paddington story at bedtime and he laughed like a drain :o

blackoutthesun · 11/03/2012 21:55

no, don't take thomas away.

go back to the school and tell them that they need to deal with it otherwise you'll be taking it to the police/papers/mp

CakeMixture · 11/03/2012 21:55

I should add that we had huge problems exactly as the op is having, when my dc were at school.
Hence partly why they are now home educated because ds (he has aspergers) wanted to be himself and couldnt cope with the pressure to conform to what the other boys were like.

Shoutymomma · 11/03/2012 22:14

Not only does this have nothing to do with TtTE, but it has nothing to do with your son. It has solely to do with the other little shits in his school who aren't being taught how to treat other people. Try not to fret, but make sure your school team addresses this.

PS. Thomas the Tank Engine books are bloody ghastly to read aloud, so might this not be a good opportunity to chuck them out?!

lilmamma · 12/03/2012 09:23

I would leave him with his thomas toys,he will let you know when he is ready to move onto the next thing,my eldest son is 30 and still likes zippy from rainbow :) I have four children,and each was into something different,my second son was thomas mad,had all the toys and videos,so third child recycled them,so we had thomas in our home for a long time..

Its the bullies who need sorting out,its a horrible time when that happens,i remember sitting outside the school palyground with my friend as her son was getting bullied in the playground,and we watched,the playground ladies werent really paying attention,when a few boys jumped on her son and were hitting him,my friend jumped out the car and over the wall so fast,at first i didint realise what was going on,she seperated them and took it for a few minutes before anyone came over,my friend got told off for coming into the yard,but what was she supposed to do.. I know i would have done exactly the same..

its not acceptable for an 8 year old to be hitting a 4 year old,hope he was dealt with properly.

waitforrose · 12/03/2012 09:45

No! No! Let him play with Thomas as long as he wants!
My ds is no different from yours. He loves everything Sodor. He has learnt to express through role play games with his trains as he has found making friends quite hard. He clutched a small Thomas the tank engine in his hand from 2-3 and it was only his nursery at 3.5 who said he should leave him at home. It took a lot, and I mean a LOT of persuasion and encouragement and 4 months on he would still ask where Thomas was whenever I picked him up.

I am not particularly keen on the idea that other boys seem to bring in their Ben 10, transformers etc. as I think these toys promote aggression. Thomas and friends is innocent and friendly and suitable for youngsters. Let's not force them to grow up before they are ready!!

I have had no end of problems since he was made to leave "his friend" at home up to and including him pushing and hitting other children. When he was allowed to take his Thomas in - he was calm and assured.

I totally agree with previous poster who says the school need to come down on this bullying like a ton of bricks. Disgraceful! He's not being babyish - he is a little boy. Boys learn socially in such different ways. Often as mothers I think we want them to learn social skills like a girl does, but boys don't read social cues in the same way - their toys are often a "way in" and a great way for them to start playing together. Good luck. Vive Thomas!

AwkwardMary · 12/03/2012 09:51

My God I want to cry! The little shits! No way should he be de Thomased...if he loves Thomas then FINE!

He is not the problem those other kds are.

If I were you I would think about changing his school...yes I know the teachers are shocked and horrifed but what kind of kids are there in the school???
I am trying to imagine one of the boys in my DDs class (she is 7) pushing a 4 year old and I just cannot! They would never do that!

The school need to really make a massive example of those kids and not allow 7 year olds around 4 year olds...do tey not have a seperate playground?

Fwiw my 7 year old still likes watching Peppa Pig! They all bloody do but some are more adept at lying about it.

BamBam21 · 12/03/2012 10:08

Hi Qinnsma.

I am so sorry your DS is having such a hard time. I would be furious about the other kids bullying him too, and it sounds like pretty severe bullying. I hope that the school will be supportive and protect your DS like they should. IMO kids should be allowed to play with whatever toys make them happy, and they will naturally move on when they feel ready.

My DS1 is now 8, and until last year he loved Thomas. He has loads of the trains, which he still sometimes takes out to look at, and made up fantastic stories with them. He also got teased a lot at school about it, as he goes to a small village primary school, and by P2 none of the other boys liked it. It never bothered me at all that he watched it (although DP thought he was getting a bit old for it) until the teasing and bullying started, as I think they are lovely stories, and far better than Ben 10 and other tripe like that. I went to the school about the bullying, and they were helpful, but unfortunately we just had to tell DS1 that he could watch Thomas at home and play with the trains, but that he shouldn't mention it at school etc. I really felt for him, as he just never liked the programmes that the other boys were watching, and generally still doesn't, but I hated to see him sidelined, and explained that sometimes he would have to try to "fit in". He has since moved on and has an obsession with Dr Who and Star Wars!

Flip

1 2 3