Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Too old for Thomas ???

51 replies

Quinnsma · 11/03/2012 17:12

My DS has loved Thomas the Tank Engine for most of his 4 1/2yrs. He has many trains (not all from Thomas) and loves cars, planes etc but Thomas is his old friend !
He was prem and his speech did not come until well past 3 1/2yrs so the colourful characters in the series and in the books were great learning tools etc. His balance is not the best and for which he is commencing physio. Now he is at school some of his schoolmates are calling him a baby because he's a bit wobbly and his speech is a little slower than other kids but he has always been popular and is always laughing and is so kind to other children who are having a problem.
This 'teasing' has gotten to the 'bullying' stage where he is is being pushed off of his scooter, and his bike as they are too 'babyish' (still 3 wheels and with stabilisers etc) we have spoken to his teachers who were horrified and promised to investigate. He now has a bruised mouth where an 7/8 yr old chased him to the back of the shed and punched him in the face !! I am so angry I can't tell you!!!
We are meeting with the school first thing but the question I have for you all is my partner wants us to 'de-Thomas' him, make him fit in with the Nerf/Ben 10 brigade and I feel that my son will view this as a punishment. That it's his problem and his fault that he's not following their lead. The only blessing is that although he knows that they are being mean he doesn't recognise it as bullying yet.

Please help me try to do the right thing it's breaking my heart

OP posts:

BamBam21 · 12/03/2012 10:11

Meant to say that, yes, I think your DS will view any attempt to de-Thomas him as a punishment. I know my DS was heartbroken when we first broached the subject with him and suggested that maybe he was getting a little too old for it. It just meant a huge amount to him, and that was why I decided that he could go with it as long as he wanted, but still wanted to protect him from the wee arseholes other kids at the school.

BuriedUnderChocolates · 12/03/2012 10:20

That's heart breaking, DS2 is 4.5, he loves fireman sam, has a fireman sam lunchbox, wears his fireman sam clothes on non-uniform day etc, he has stabilisers on his bike and a 3 wheel scooter. He too has speech problems and does seem a lot younger than some of the Ben 10 boys in his class, but they are nearly a full year older than him.

DS1 (he's 8 now) still used to love thomas when he was that age, although if I'm honest there did come a point when peer pressure kicked in a bit and he still played with his thomas toys at home all the time but did move away from thomas clothes, lunchbox etc. but I think that was in year 1 and certainly wasn't due to any actual bullying.

When DS1 was in reception/year 1 the school actually banned anything ben 10/transformers/power rangers and asked us not to let them watch these programmes at home as they were having trouble with scenes being replayed in the playground.

I am stunned at the 7/8 year old child punching him in the face, none of DS1's, he's 8, classmates would do that, they really wouldn't.

This isn't normal, it isn't, what a terrible introduction to school for him, please don't think this is his, or your, or Thomas's fault, it's not, school need to come down on this fast.

Oh and by the way, DS1 8, still watches Thomas in the morning before school and plays with the thomas trains sometimes and all of mine love Peppa Pig, 8 year old included, as mary said, they just keep quiet about it.

BuriedUnderChocolates · 12/03/2012 10:24

Forgot to say, 3 boys in DS2 4 class have thomas lunchboxes, and there are some in the year 1 class as well.

lingle · 12/03/2012 10:45

I'm so sorry, everyone has said what needs to be said about school.

I do understand where your DH is coming from, I really do but I imagine that what your little boy needs not just in this crisis but always is to know that his dad thinks he is the coolest little boy in the world.

My DS2 is 6.6 so he is well aware of the playground pecking order of what is cool to be into (football, electric guitars) and what isn't cool to be into and has made a transition from "trains with faces" to "trains with no faces" (replicas of real trains) that still fit on the same track. So that you aren't just shooting your DH down in flames, could you encourage your DH perhaps to buy him one of those "trains with no faces" and then to get down on the floor and play trains with DS on a regular basis. The one with no face could be daddy's grown-up train. Then when DS is ready, he might choose to play with that one himself.

piprabbit · 12/03/2012 10:51

Boys and men never seem to grow out of steam trains. Go to any steam railway in the country and there will be sons and dads of all ages having a whale of a time.

Let your DS play with Thomas. Give him the chance to explore other toys and games, but above all let him know that you think he is fantastic.

The school....

solidgoldbrass · 12/03/2012 10:53

My DS is 7 and still into Thomas, please don't deprive your little boy of something he loves. Bollocks to the other kids, nasty little bullies: the best thing you can do for your DC is teach them that it's the bullies who are at fault and that it's fine not to 'fit in', what matters is being kind, not whether you like one game/film/toy better than another.

TheCrackFox · 12/03/2012 11:01

My super cool 18yr old nephew cannot bring himself to charity shop his Thomas stuff.

Ds2 now 6 plays with lightning McQueen, Thomas, Lego, sylvanian families. Don't let the bullies win. Why should your son change his opinions to suit them?

partridge · 12/03/2012 11:36

Your boy sounds gorgeous and like all the other posters have said this is not about Thomas. It breaks my heart that there is so much pressure to grow up and Thomas is v wholesome. He should be embraced.

My son's 5 1/2 year old son brought his thomas trains into the playground the other day and it was like bees to a honeypot - the other kids were crowding round and desperate for a play.

partridge · 12/03/2012 11:36

Friend not son.

Floggingmolly · 12/03/2012 11:47

It's nothing to do with the trains! Your absolutely right, he would view this as a punishment, and it's so not necessary. My almost 5 year old still loves Thomas, and so do most of his friends. I'd be chasing up the 7 year old bully though, making sure the school come down on him like a ton of bricks, that's feral behaviour . They have to address the other low level bullying also, insist that you know what they plan to do, and also insist on constant feedback until the problem has been resolved. Poor boy

margoandjerry · 12/03/2012 11:58

School needs to crack down on this. It's completely wrong.

4.5 is still a baby and it's not his/your problem to sort out. The school must act.

FWIW my 5.5 year old still loves absolutely everything on CBEEBIES and peppa and all that and long may it last. I'm happy to say the school environment is very positive and the children are allowed to remain young children and there's no pressure to move on to the latest thing.

Very for you.

weblette · 12/03/2012 12:12

Ds2 turns 8 on Friday and still adores Thomas. He's also moved onto Hornby trains and loves going to steam fairs. His friends just accept that when they come here he may get the trains out but they know that's just what he's like. His best friend incidentally is also a Thomas fiend.

Agree completely with what FloggingMolly said.

Original poster

Quinnsma · 12/03/2012 15:51

I never fail to be comforted and inspired by you lot !! I have been feeling quite 'churny' ever since this all started and by reading your messages we are both feeling much stronger and able to focus on what's important and that is to encourage our son to continue being an individual, a Thomas lover, and to be proud of who he is, because we are!
There have been a couple of interesting developments however !!! DS approached one of the boys and offered him a ride on his 'babyish 3-wheeled scooter' and it was accepted with a big smile so fingers crossed! Also we discovered that when the older boy hit him in the face DS went to a lunchtime supervisor to tell her and, she told him to go away and play, it transpires that this boy was her son !!!!! Thank again to all those who have helped us xxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:

LIZS · 12/03/2012 15:55

That's so sad . If it isn't Thomas he is teased about they will find something else. The other kids and attitude of the school are the real issue here.

ilovesprouts · 12/03/2012 15:56

let him play with thomas my son is 5 amd he loves itng still :)

ThatsEnoughChildren · 12/03/2012 16:12

DS1 still plays with Thomas (obviously only to help his little brothers) and watches (glues his eyes to the TV) for the same reason - he probably wouldn't admit though!

There's nothing wrong with a mixture of toys and not one of my three boys has ever been interested in Ben 10 et al, but please do not get rid of Thomas - get the school to sort out the bullies.

DS2 (YR) still loves Peppa Pig and has a bit of teasing at school - in the end he realised that admitting to being a Scooby Doo fan (another favourite) was a better idea which makes me quite sad really.

SardineQueen · 12/03/2012 16:28

School need to stamp down on this and fast, no ifs no buts, how appalling.

And please don't stop him playing with thomas, he's definitely not too old. My dad is fond of thomas the tank engine and he is in his early 60s!

ouryve · 12/03/2012 16:36

Oh, good grief, no. He's not too old at all.

DS1 was still into Thomas well into Reception and I let him use a Bob the Builder bag until the end of the year (swapped it out for an inoffensive Dalek one for Y1). Speaking to a few of the parents of the Ben 10 Brigade, it turned out that almost all of the boys still had a soft spot for CBeebies, Thomas and everything but would never admit it to their friends!

LadyInPink · 12/03/2012 20:08

Omg, you need to mention this to the headteacher because it seems the lunchtime supervisors kid will only think he can rule the roost and bully everyone if his precious mum turns a blind eye all the time. This need nipping in the bud now, please say something OP.

So happy to hear he had a good day today x

rabbitstew · 12/03/2012 20:19

There are millions of 4.5 year old boys in the world who love Thomas the Tank Engine. Don't force your little boy to conform to the world view of nasty little bullies.

HandMadeTail · 12/03/2012 20:23

He is not bullied because of Thomas. If he changes to Ben 10 or whatever, they will find something else to bully him about.

The bullies will have some other reason for bullying. Maybe they are bored, or just think it is fun. His actual behaviour is irrelevant.

The head teacher should be able to deal with this, and the boys are likely to realise that if he has told once, he would do so again, and that they are unlikely to ever get away with bullying him again. So well done to your son for being so brave!

Champagneforlunch · 12/03/2012 20:50

Agree that he isn't too old, when he is he'll move on to something else, my daughter is 8 and only just stopped watching CBeebies etc.
Although I remember my brother visiting me one lunch time with his friends from school and him showing his friends all his trains and them all discussing what ones they had etc. They were 17/18 and about to go to university that summer. He has only just now grudgingly given them to my 2 year old and the age of 26.

madaboutmadmen · 12/03/2012 20:54

No don't take Thomas away! i really feel for you, what an awful situation. i think Ben10 may be too old for him really (never seen more than a few seconds of it so can't really judge). The only other boy I know of his age loves Thomas and had loads of trains and so on.

Maybe you could reduce it on clothes and things like that but definitley not toys and dvds.

Kids grow up too quick these days, your little boy sounds like what 4 year old should be like. Hope it goes well with the school, if not punch the 7 year old's mother in the mouth

exoticfruits · 12/03/2012 21:37

Gosh-I thought he was going to be much older. How sad if 41/2 is too old for Thomas! They all ride bikes at different ages. DS1 could ride 2 wheels when he was 3 yrs old and DS2 didn't get it until he was almost 7yrs. It really doesn't matter. Get the school to clamp down.

4madboys · 12/03/2012 21:42

i agree with others he is NOT too old for thomas! and the school needs to sort this out pronto!

re scooters my boys have the micro scooters, ds4 (almost 4) has the little ones, but ds2 (9) and ds3 (7) have the bigger version ,they are 3 wheeled, but with two wheels at the front and great for balance etc and all the kids have them at my boys school, not seen as 'babyish ' at all!

and he is young to be riding without stabilisers only one of mine could do so at that age.

Flip

1 2 3