Has anyone claimed the "shite parent of the day" award yet?

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

Because I'd like to nominate myself.
dd2 (15mo) is at that very clingy, hanging off your leg stage. I was too soft to chuck her out of the kitchen while i made a hot drink. I spilt a bit of coffee on her, and she got scalded. luckily not badly enough to need medical attention, but still horrible for her. what an idiot.

My DS has a habit of throwing his head back just as we walk through a door. Bumps on the head too numerous to mention.

I have been a really shit parent today. DS is poorly and has whinged and whined all day. Wanted to be picked up, then immediately wanted to be put down. This is no mean feat, as he is 2.2 and built like a brick shit house. Wouldn't countenance looking at any of his books or playing with any of his toys. Wouldn't even watch CBeebies or a DVD. Just whinged. For 11 hours straight.

It came to tea cooking and he wouldn't keep out of the part of the kitchen where the hob, etc was. I had to put him in the back room with the baby gate shut for his own safety (where all the toys, books and CBeebies are). He stood at the gate and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed some more.

I lost it and shouted 'will you shut the fuck up DS' eventually. He didn't. Hopefully he was screaming so loud he didn't hear me.

He is now asleep thank god and DH has him tomorrow while I get to go to work. I am positively looking forward to it. No doubt he will be as right as rain tomorrow and angelic for DH.

And my opening shot to DH as he walked through the door was 'I'm not having another one!'

Omg I have tears running down my cheeks, mind head mummy being a particular favourite thanks to strandedbear

Um. At the weekend DD had a seizure, we got it stopped with and we were running around at 7am trying to get dressed to go up to the hospital. I left 18mo DD who was very very wobbly on her feet with DH while I packed a bag in case we needed to stay in. Suddenly there was an almighty crash and DH screaming for me, I ran to the bedroom only to find DD had fallen face first into the solid oak bed and was having a massive nosebleed. Explaining to the paediatricians that the nosebleed wasn't seizure related was a challenge. We did not win any parenting medals from the doctors.

Last week I was waging up and DD started shrieking, she has a habit of putting her head into an empty plastic box and wandering around. I embarrassingly ignored her until the whining turned to sudden sobbing at which point I turned round to see her with a split lip and a mouthful of blood dripping on the floor. I think the box bit back for once.

Have done the door frame thing a few times. Also dropped DD onto the sofa after tripping over her damn toys only it was more like a slow mo rugby pass.

*washing not waging

thse are hilarious! i feel like is should get Mum of the year award!

Whens the ceremony being held?? I'd be a proud nominee for cleaning my little 'uns teeth with e45 cream when he was 14m (it is NEVER to be kept next to the toothpaste in our house...repeat NEVER). oh, also I keep my nails very short since my lovely long manicured weapons left an arc bloody crescent-shaped indentations on his forehead when I tried to pick him up at about 4m and he wriggled/i slipped!!!! I'm embarrassed to say that when another parent said to me the next day "oh isn't it awful when they scratch themselves at night" I just nodded...

I think I get this today.

We don't have a stairgate as we only have 3 steps and 14mo dd is usually v good at turning around at the top to crawl down backwards. We don't even supervise her on the stairs any more. Needless to say this afternoon she fell face-first onto the wooden floor at the bottom and is now sporting a nice fat lip from where her teeth went through :(