Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What do you do when your child refuses dinner?

39 replies

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:26

My daughter refused to eat dinner tonight, lovely home made chicken cassarole. she ate a couple of bits of chicken and then cried and cried for something else to eat. I didn't give in because I am fed up with making food that she doesn't eat. She went to bed fine as usual after the dinner time tantrum but I know she must have been hungry. What do other people do when this happens, was I too mean to even give her a yoghurt or a banana? When I was a child it was a case of if you didn't like it, tough.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

harpsichordcarrier · 19/01/2006 21:27

how old is she lilliput?

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:33

She is 3 on Sunday

OP posts:

colditz · 19/01/2006 21:35

I think you did the right thing, I would have done that and it isn't mean.

Mercy · 19/01/2006 21:37

Hs she had that meal before and liked it?

OldieMum · 19/01/2006 21:37

Have you tried bribery? DH starts telling DD (3 a few days ago) some fascinating story and then stops, saying, "No more story until you eat some more." It usually works. Or I say "OK, five more mouthfuls and then you can have a banana," or whatever it is she says she wants. That usually works, too. If she really hates something, I give her something like yogurt or cheese, which she will always eat, just so that she eats something.

DumbledoresGirl · 19/01/2006 21:37

Yes, I do try to make my children eat their food, but if they absolutely refuse, they go to bed with nothing else. Actually, it is only the youngest who might totally refuse a whole meal (he is nearly 3) so the policy must have worked on the others.

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:39

I don't think she has had that meal before but I just get so pissed off with her saying she doesn't like it even before she has tried it, it contained things I knew she does like.

OP posts:

Clayhead · 19/01/2006 21:40

I think you did the right thing.

moondog · 19/01/2006 21:41

Why bribe??
It turnseating into a power struggle.
My 5 year old dd often saysshe doesn't want something.We nod and smile pleasantly and carry on eating without comenting.
Also,if she leaves the table (after asking permission) and then tries to return to eat more,she isn't allowed to.

paolosgirl · 19/01/2006 21:41

My DD did this tonight with a lovely homemade beef casserole. She's a picky eater anyway, and it drives me mad, but tonight I was very "mean mummy", and told her to put down her knife and fork and leave the table. She's getting nothing now til breakfast. I think it's perfectly reasonable.

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:44

She has always been a picky eater and it drives us mad, we LOVE food, my husband is a chef and we run a restaurant and to have a dd that is picky is so infuriating and to be honest disappointing.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 19/01/2006 21:45

It is just a phase Lilliput. Try and stand firm while it lasts and you will probably get a little foodie like yourselves at the end.

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:48

You are probably right, my MIL tells stories of my dh's picky eating habits as a child and you would never know that now. It's the bloody effort one goes to though.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 19/01/2006 21:50

I know. I hate to say it, but I stopped going to vast efforts precisely because it wound me up so much when my efforts weren't appreciated. We lived off a small number of meals that I knew were accepted by all for years, including all that nursery food - fishfingers and the like. I started slowly reintroducing "proper" meals about a year ago, but sometimes I try a meal that none of my children like and I go through all the frustration you are feeling all over again. But there have been successes too!

Mercy · 19/01/2006 21:52

And she is only 3 years old - at 4 or 5 I think it's different

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 21:53

How old are yours dumbledoresgirl? How many years of fish fingers and sausages?

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 19/01/2006 21:59

They are 9, 8, 5 and 2 (3 next month). I think it is the 8 and 5 year old who have set the pace with regard to introducing new meals as they were the fussiest eaters. The 9 year old has not been fussy since he was about 3 and I simply ignore my youngest's fussiness! I guess I have been on a restricted diet(!) for about 4 years but obviously that was with more than one child.

It saved my sanity when I stopped trying to get them to eat moussaka and casseroles and suchlike and made a list of anything I could think of that they all liked. It wasn't all rubbish either. There were things I love on the list too like spaghetti bolognese and a chicken dish I do in cheese. But the wasted food and the fights and the ruination of mealtimes took its toll, I can tell you.

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 22:00

She won't even eat spag bol!!!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 22:05

What is your repetoire?

OP posts:

hana · 19/01/2006 22:10

think you did the right thing
I've beend oing this with dd1 lately - she has been refusing all things she always used to eat without complaint.....think she's trying it on. When she says - I dont like this, I want something else or variations of that, I tell her that is her only supper and if she doesn't want to eat it she can go straight up to bed. or she can stay at the table until we all finish and then go up to bed.
It has worked so far, she doesn't always eat vast quantities, but it has brought down my stress levels of thinking and worrying of what will she eat and I jsut stick with eat. dd2 on the other hand laps up anyting and everyting. hope that lasts!!

longwaytogo · 19/01/2006 22:25

dd 3 next sunday eats a very limited amount of foods now. Used to wolf down everything but our lastest trick is if she says she doesnt like it then we ask her if she wants soup, take her dinner away blend it down add a bit more water and hey presto she's got soup. Alright it may not be ideal but at least she's getting the nutrients that she needs and it saves me stressing over what she hasn't eaten. But in saying that I didn't do that with the spag bol tonight and she didn't eat a spoonful of it. So I guess she will be hungry but they do eat when they are hungry.

But it is so frustrating when they used to eat all kinds and now the only fruit she will eat are sultanas. So I puree down cooked apple and stick it in rice pudd, can't get anything in a fromage frais she's far too crafty for that

Hope that helps a little

Tortington · 19/01/2006 22:26

they will eat breakfast readily

Piffle · 19/01/2006 22:28

I assume dd (3.4) is not hungry and take her from the table
She will have a cup of milk, but thats it.
But that said she rarely turns down food

brimfull · 19/01/2006 22:42

it seems to be soo common at this age.

ds is the same,refusing to eat food he used to lap up.

he regularly goes to bed not having eaten anything at supper.He always asks for breakfast though!

Original poster

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 22:47

I'm sure she will wake up saying that her tummy is rumbling. I think I need to cut out some snacks but that would mean major distraction.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2