Ds has an appointment with the community paediatrician on Tuesday. What should we expect?

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

School have flagged up that he struggles with social skills so have organised an appointment. He's fine some of the time, others not. I don't think he has apergers, his eye contact is good, doesn't obsess (too much) and can tell when someone's bored of a conversation. My 5 year old nephew has ASD, ds is not like him at all. I think he's dyspraxic though as he's incredibly clumsy and disorganised. He didn't ride a bike without stabilisers until he was 10, can't hit a ball, hates PE as he falls over. Handwriting is messy also. He's also hypermobile though so I'm not sure this could account for the dyspraxia symptoms.

I've no idea what to expect, please help. Thank you

We did this at the start of the year.

The doctor welcomed us all into the room and then chatted to ds and I about what had been going on and what our concerns were. She gave ds the opportunity to chat to her which, surprisingly, he did. She also weighed him and took his height.

She then gave me an opportunity to speak to her without ds present. I didn't need to do that but the opportunity was there.

She sent me away with a questionaire and sent one to the school as well.

It was very low key and relaxed. I know you will worry but there was nothing to worry about once we got there and spoke to her.

She was very observant and picked up on aspects of ds's behaviour which I had noted and others hadn't.

I hope you find it a useful experience and it helps you to get your ds all the support (if any) that he needs.

Thank you. Ds is very, very bright and finds people hard to understand because he can't understand why they are rude/mean to each other. He gets on really well with people who don't speak down to him. I do wish he'd stop wanting to discuss everything though. He's not subtle either. He gets jokes but not when people are being sarcastic. I've no idea really. Is it usually just one appointment?

We have had several appointments and have another in February.

I am not sure how much they provide on the treatment front. In our experience they have formed the initial picture of our difficulties and then arranged more specific treatment for ds.

They have also offered support as we have waited for treatment. eg the doctor has invited us to phone her if we are struggling and further treatment has not yet been offered.

Btw, when I say we saw her at the start of the year, I meant the start of LAST year . We have had to wait a long time for the psychologist, despite being on a fast track, and the community paediatrician has seen us regularly while we have waited for that referral.

I would recommend writing down everything that concerns you about ds's behaviour, everything that others (eg teachers) have noticed and encouraging your ds to write down any questions he may have.

It can be difficult to remember everything you want noted down once you are finally there.

My experience was that they did know the right questions to ask as well though.

Thank you. I've written it all down, then I matched it with most of the symptoms for dyspraxia! It's crazy that you've had to wait for so long. Most of his problems I can live with, his arguing does drive me nuts though.

We are seeing the psychologist now Sybil but it took about 7 months. We see them once a fortnight now though so I can see how each patient absorbs a lot of their time.

Try not to go into the appointment with an assumption of a diagnosis or you may try to make everything you tell them fit your diagnosis.

Try to just tell them everything and let them gather information and make their diagnosis. Many symptoms overlap and the differences between them can be very subtle.

We thought our ds had ADHD but he has anxiety and depression and a sleep disorder (and maybe other things).

Our ds has difficulties with social skills too and the school have arranged a support for learning teacher who spends time with him helping him develop his skills in this area. He is really sociable, ie he is keen to be with people, he just doesn't think how others might feel as much as most people would.

Try to keep an open mind and just give them honest and full information.

I think I'll just take the list and not say anything about what I think. I wrote the list first so I wouldn't be influenced.

Thank you

That sounds the best plan. You are probably right but I would let them diagnose. Let us know how you get on. I will be thinking of you.

Thank you.

She seemed really nice and didn't roll her eyes when ds interrupted her. I have a sheet to fill in and she's going to refer him to the physio so that they can test him for dyspraxia.

How did he feel about the meeting Sybil?

They seem to be very gentle and understanding of the dcs. I felt they were very tactful and were quite happy to listen to ds prattling on.

Has she made another appt for you?

Btw, sorry for the late reply. This didn't pop up on my "i'm On" as I had expected it to and I had to hunt for it.

They hide them all every month which is a real PITA.

Ds was polite and answered his questions as well as he could. I think the school GP said that she thought he was on the autistic spectrum so the doctor was surprised when he spoke to her as the eye contact was there and he came across very articulate. He told the paediatrician that he found the school GP scary so it may have accounted for the way in which he spoke to her (the school GP). I have to fill in the form, send one to the school and she's going to make an appointment with me, not ds. He's 12 though so I find it hard to remember his baby years. Ds seemed a little anxious when we left and kept asking what we (the doctor and I) had spoken about when he was out of the room. My nephew is on the autistic spectrum, he isn't like ds. No one can have a conversation with him (nephew) as he'll just talk about what he's interested in and will ignore you. He's very bright though. I can talk to ds about anything. I'm pleased he's going to be checked for dyspraxia.

It doesn't sound like you have a lot to be worried about Sybil.

It is always better to take all the assessment and help that they can offer you. My ds is now getting support for learning for his social skills which will surely help him in life even if he doesn't have any specific disorder.

Who referred him to the school GP and what grounds did they give for the referral? What I mean is did they give specific incidents or just express a general concern?

The specific incidents for ds were laughable on paper but were obviously upsetting enough to experience.

I think he's OK. He is picking them up, just very slowly. He's making friends at school and I see them joking around with him after school.

His tutor referred him to the school GP. He struggled at the start of this academic year as all of the groups were mixed up and he didn't know anyone so he retreated into a pokemon game/chat room on the internet. I was watching him, he seemed to get very engrossed in it very quickly though, I just think he was lonely. He can be overfamiliar with his teachers, he'd say 'Okeydokey' instead of 'yes sir' but he's never really seen himself as a child. He's incredibly bright, the school is academically selective and he's working at the top of his year but he can find it hard to relate to people. There was an incident with an old teacher where she was being sarcastic about another boy and he took her literally, she said something like 'x doesn't know where his heart is! Do you all know where your heart is?' so he raised his hand to answer. I can understand why he found this confusing, it's not clear at all but he was given lines for putting up his hand She's not there now.

I think they like to make something out of nothing sometimes. I don't mind him being assessed, if he needs support with something then it's better to know rather then to let him suffer.

The autistic spectrum includes aspergers do you not think that could be a possibility especially about not understanding sarcasm and being very bright and able?

Try SN Children section of MN. Between us we have almost every condition and you might get some more pointers but more importantly solutions.

I don't think he has aspergers. He's caring, empathetic and has great eye contact. I'll try the SN section, thank you The social skills problems also come under dyspraxia.

Even if there is something there I don't think it is anything very serious. Teachers should not use sarcasm really. I used to teach and we were strongly encouraged not to. It can be very confusing for children, especially for those who are not teased etc at home (in a friendly way as banter within the family - not anything sinister).

The SN section is great. I have found it really supportive and quite illuminating.

Try to keep an open mind about diagnosis. As I said, you may well be right, but we did get one that we hadn't expected at all and on further investigation it has made a lot of sense.

Thank you, I've posted in SN and they have said that people can have dyspraxia and aspergers/autism. There's just ds and I at home and I don't tease him. I can be quite stern with him though as I'm telling him off one minute, then being kind the next. I don't really mind what they find, I just hope I can get some strategies that will help him. He's a very bright boy, it just drives me nuts when he argues with me.

I'll ignore his eye contact.

WE had one this morning, although I was hoping for an Educational psychologist, and it was about an hour. She asked both myself and DS1 lots of questions, it ws very nice.

I think Educational Psychologists are a rare bread now. There's just not enough of them.

I've found a place to get DS1 tested at a snip £400!!!!

Leonie I asked to be referred to someone who could help with the mismatching of my son's intelligence to his ability....I obviously mentioned some other behaviours and so was referred to the community team. I am far more concerned about his school work, he is year five.