Ds has an appointment with the community paediatrician on Tuesday. What should we expect?

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

School have flagged up that he struggles with social skills so have organised an appointment. He's fine some of the time, others not. I don't think he has apergers, his eye contact is good, doesn't obsess (too much) and can tell when someone's bored of a conversation. My 5 year old nephew has ASD, ds is not like him at all. I think he's dyspraxic though as he's incredibly clumsy and disorganised. He didn't ride a bike without stabilisers until he was 10, can't hit a ball, hates PE as he falls over. Handwriting is messy also. He's also hypermobile though so I'm not sure this could account for the dyspraxia symptoms.

I've no idea what to expect, please help. Thank you

The form's quite hard to fill in. Sleep deprivation means I can't remember too much about his first couple of years so I'm looking through his baby books. I just remember him being a happy, giggling baby who was full of beans. He does seem to be improving every day so I'm not overly worried. I just want him to stop arguing with me whenever I ask him not to do something. £400 is crazy, you shouldn't have to pay this much to get help for your child.

Posie why are you having to pay? Would the GP or school not refer him?

Dh and I found the forms quite tricky as we disagreed about what we saw.

Ds's teacher found it nearly impossible and ended up writing the CP an email instead outlining what she saw in ds's behaviour.

The Clinical Psychologist has since sent, what I assume is, the same questionaire to ds's current teacher and she seems to have filled it out as requested.

There is talk here of ds seeing an Ed Psych so there must still be a few about.

It's hard. He's delightful at home. If I say my head's pounding he'll offer to get me some paracetamol. If he's thirsty then he'll ask me if I'm thirsty as well and will make us both a drink. He watched a play with his school last term, it was about world war 1. He came out and burst into tears because he was upset that people had died in the war. He's cuddly but only to me. If my family or friends try to hug him he shys away. I don't know.

Local Authorities employ Ed Psychs, there are some statutory duties that they have to have them for relating to the Statementing process, plus they usually have some availability for seeing pupils at School Action Plus if there are significant concerns.

However, it's this type of area that is suffering from cuts (along with specialist/advisory teacher teams) so pressure on their time is getting even worse.

Sybil it is relevant to those assessing him that you describe how he is with you at home. The school will describe how he is at school with them. The difference is sometimes relevant.

eg My ds doesn't show much of his anxiety problems at home as he feels safe and secure etc. At school he is very anxious and bites his hands, sucks his lip, hides under tables...

This difference was obviously relevant to his diagnosis.

I am having to pay because DS's possible learning mismatch is not bad enough for him to be disruptive and can be just seen as not able, therefore State school wouldn't pay for tests.

He may of course just be a late developer or unable, I'm happy with either but would rather know!!

Posie my ds has been labelled as quite bright but not always reaching his potential. His current teacher has arranged for support for learning so he can work outside the classroom sometimes as his anxieties as so great within the classroom he struggles to focus.

He could read before he started school but the school kept giving him books which only had pictures in them or only a couple of words in them etc. I kept going up to the school and questioning them about it but they were quite hostile. This year all the dcs were tested OUTWITH the classroom and ds suddenly whizzed up about 6 reading groups to chapter books. They finally saw what I saw when he felt calm and safe at home.

What is his performance like at home?

Has he been tested for dyslexia etc?

I would push the school or ask your GP for help before I spent £400, unless you are ok financially and you can absorb this cost without hardship.

I've filled in the form and given examples. He's not good if there's a lot of people, he's far better on a 1:1 basis or in small groups, it's part of the reason why I placed him in a small school. He wouldn't cope otherwise.

Your ds sounds a lot like my ds1, now 16. He is diagnosed with ADHD (his original diagnosis was dyspraxia) although I remain sure that he is on the autistic spectrum. He is very bright and is doing well at school. He doesn't get sarcasm, often doesn't get people in general, but is so kind, loving and caring. He is very active but, I don't think, hyperactive. The school scored him very high for hyperactivity but I think they mistook his lack of attention and impulsiveness for hyperactivity. I have found having a diagnosis very helpful.

Ds1 is also better on a 1:1 or in small groups.

Interesting. He can concentrate for rediculous amounts of time though. He'll happily read a book for hours.

Ds can also concentrate for hours on things that interest him. Certain books, computer games ect. Obviously not saying your son has ADHD/ASD just interesting similarities. Ds 2 (14) has "autistic tendencies" but not to the extent that I have ever felt the need to seek a diagnosis.

Thanksx

They are investigating ADHD in my ds and he can concentrate for hours on a drawing or computer game but not always in class. He has sleep issues so we are tackling them first as many of the symptoms of ADHD are very similar or the same as those who don't get good quality sleep.

What are the symptoms of ADHD? I thought children with this can't concentrate at all?

Ah, thank you NHS web site.

The main symptoms of inattentiveness are:

* a very short attention span (no)
* being very easily distracted (varies)
* making careless mistakes, for example in schoolwork (no)
* appearing forgetful or losing things (yes)
* being unable to stick at tasks that are tedious or time consuming (no)
* being unable to listen to or carry out instructions (no)
* being unable to concentrate (no)
* constantly changing activity or task (no)
* having difficulty organising tasks (yes)

Hyperactivity

The main symptoms of hyperactivity are:

* being unable to sit still, especially in calm or quiet surroundings (no)
* constantly fidgeting (no)
* being unable to settle to tasks (no)
* excessive physical movement (no)
* excessive talking (yes)

Impulsiveness

The main symptoms of impulsiveness are:

* being unable to wait for a turn (no)
* acting without thinking (no)
* interrupting conversations (yes)
* breaking any set rules (no)
* little or no sense of danger (no)

The main symptoms of inattentiveness are:

• a very short attention span (no)
• being very easily distracted (varies)
• making careless mistakes, for example in schoolwork (no)
• appearing forgetful or losing things (yes)
• being unable to stick at tasks that are tedious or time consuming (yes)
• being unable to listen to or carry out instructions (no)
• being unable to concentrate (no)
• constantly changing activity or task (no)
• having difficulty organising tasks (yes)

Hyperactivity

The main symptoms of hyperactivity are:

• being unable to sit still, especially in calm or quiet surroundings (yes)
• constantly fidgeting (yes)
• being unable to settle to tasks (no)
• excessive physical movement (yes)
• excessive talking (yes)

Impulsiveness

The main symptoms of impulsiveness are:

• being unable to wait for a turn (no)
• acting without thinking (yes)
• interrupting conversations (yes)
• breaking any set rules (no)
• little or no sense of danger (yes)

I don't know if this is helpful Sybil but this is the comparison with my ds. His current diagnosis is anxiety and depression but there is also a sleep problem and possibly ADHD.

I think the chart would apply to the vast majority of children to be honest. Ds does have a sleep problem but it's not the usual 'he doesn't sleep!' Ds rolls around in his sleep and wakes himself up. The paediatrician is referring him to an ENT for this. Sounds stressful for you carrots.

It is not as bad as it sounds when you write it down Sybil and he is a happy wee soul, despite the impression the diagnosis gives.

That's more important I think. The doctors and schools like to label children a bit too much, especially if they don't fit the 'norm'.

There is an element of that, but he is benefitting from the one to one so it has advantages