After someone's comment to me, please reassure me about late walking

[bigyellowsun]

Hi

I'm new here. My DS is nearly 14 months and not walking. He's not pulling up either. The HV isn't worried as he's weight bearing and can stand for some time, but obviously as a first time mum I'd love him to start walking though I accept he'll do it in his own time. he's very lovely and alert and contented which is the main thing.

To put things and myself in context, I have had, and am still experiencing PND anxiety. In the park yesterday someone asked me about him - a stranger - and then made a comment about a friend of hers whose two sons were late walkers and they've been recently diagnosed on the autistic spectrum. She said she hadn't realised but there was some connection, sometimes, especially with aspergers.

It was all vague and glib but it stayed with me. Is this right? Or are some babies just late walkers? Or am I now going to worry that there's other reasons looming in the future?

Hence, I try not to google at times like this because I did during pregnancy and found google was my enemy

Nezt time you hear a 'that means its aspergers or other bollocks remember that some people have a weird tendancy to diagnose anything as 'autistic spectrum' which I am sure is probably autistic in itself.. ahem..

Standing solid at 14 months in our case meant walking before 15 months. Standing solid and feeling confident is an essential part of walking, then edging round then a step or two then bloody legging it down the kitchen

What helped was standing my one up by things that she wanted to see over tables/benches/windows etc and soon she was pulling herself up to see things.

Don't worry all is fine..

Ds1 walked at 10 months, ds2 @ 16 months and ds3 @ 15 months. Guess who has SEN? Yes ds1. You have no need to worry.

My niece didn't walk till 17 months and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. She's a perfectly normal, and extremely active (!), 2 and a half year old! She runs us ragged!

My friend's son walked at 14 months and she was told this was average. Her DD didn't walk until about 18 months and she was really worried. Ten years on and friends DD is doing fantastically well at school, top at just about everything and her son doing great too but not as well (academically) as DD so don't think it really means anything.
Incidently,I know several children with ASD type difficulties who did actually walk at around 12 months so don't think there is necessarily any link between age of walking and any future development.

Dd is 15 months. She walked relatively early BUT she literally went from not walking OR crawling to bum shuffline to walking properly in 2 weeks, they change so quickly, don't worry.

I have PND anxiety too. Its awful. I worry 'cause dd doesn't say much!

really don't worry both of my nephews started walking at 24 months. they were very happy at being able to crawl. then they both decided one day to get up and walk

My dd was a late walker, she didn't start until she was 18 months, she is 2 now.
What is good about late walkers is they get the hang of it much quicker & don't fall over so much!!!

My DD was a late walker and it was because there was a problem (low tone). This was obvious though, she wouldn't weight bear at all until 20 months, couldn't sit until a year and her head lagged when pulled to sitting until she was over a year, she is floppy (she walked on her 2nd birthday).

Your child sounds nothing like this and is weight bearing well, so I wouldn't worry.

Incidentally my DD IS autistic, amongst other things, and neurologist struggled to diagnose her because in her words 'children with autism don't usually have delayed motor skills'. So wouldn't worry about that at ALL.

My DD also crawled for 10 months just to confound the not crawling autism link.

Even she, now at 5, runs in her own way, too.

Enjoy your lovely DS :)

Link between late walking and autism? [boggle]

My two both have autism.

One of them walked a few days before his first birthday and the other walked a few days after his first birthday.

14 months isn't late. Honestly. Your son will walk when he's ready. One day, he'll suddenly sprint across the living room and in a year from now, when he's running and jumping all over the place for 8 hours a day, you'll look back at the days when he wasn't walking and wonder why on earth you worried.

Please don't take this person's silly comments to heart.

My dd walked at 16 months. It was nice that she didn't walk earlier than this as they can get into more trouble once they are more mobile and the older they are the more sense they have!

I think it's nicer to have a child who walks a bit later than average although I remember other mothers being very competitive about early walking!!!

Try to relax OP and enjoy this stage of your baby's life, it won't last much longer!

14 months isn't late. DD didn't walk until bang on 17 months.
People spout all kinds of rubbish without thinking.
Have you thought about cognitive behavioural therapy? It worked for me with PND.
For example:

1. Stranger told me my child could be autistic because not walking. Made me feel sick, couldn't sleep.
2. Why did you think this could be true? Was stranger professor of medicine or similar? Is your child a particularly late walker? Do you have any cause to be concerned in any other way that your child is autistic? If your child is on the spectrum then what would it mean ?
3. Positive action : If answers to above are no then accept stranger an idiot. Positive action : speak to HV or GP.

Anything up to 18 months is considered in normal range for walking, although some children do walk later with no underlying reason.

If they are still not walking by age 2 it would be worth be referred to a children's physio who can assess their overall gross motor skills.

But at 14 months if your ds is weight bearing to furniture I wouldn't necessarily worry :)

Thank you all. I feel so much better for reading your replies. And yes, I'm about to start CBT so hopefully that will help 'the big picture.'

Again, thanks. Have lovely Sundays.

CBT did me the world of good, hope it does for you too.

I wonder whether we go to the same park? A woman came up to me the other day and out of nowhere suggested by son (at 10 months!) had autism as he was not making eye contact with me as I pushed him on the swing.

There is a sort of mother whose way of coping with worries about there own child is to try and induce worries in all those around them.

I did walk till over eighteen months. Rather embarrassingly I had learnt to order my sisters around to get me things I needed and would shout "Lazy lump" and put my arms in the air to get my mother to lift me up. Your son sounds like a bright lad who knows he's got years of having to get around under his own steam ahead of him and might as well take advantage while he can.

Don't take to heart what strangers say to you. They don't know your child one little bit and they are just being rude - I'd never pass a comment like that to a mum.

My DD didn't start to walk until she was 17 months, and even at that she was very hesitant - she was a very efficient bum shuffler though, could get around quite fast like that! She was never interested in standing up or weight bearing much when she was small, she was always content just to sit and play and shuffle about, and is still incredibly lazy at almost 8 years old - doesn't like to walk the length of herself if she can avoid it!

DS was a much earlier walker, pulling up from 8 months and cruising from 9 months, he walked across the living room on his first birthday to a huge round of applause from the assembled grandparents and a big burst of tears from me! So that was 4 months between pulling up and walking.

Put this silly comment out of your mind and enjoy your gorgeous DS, you sound like a lovely mum so don't waste any more energy on this silly woman and her silly words.

Another fan of CBT here too- us mums are all too good at focusing on our negtive sides (as we see it) and forgetting the many many positives in our lives.

If we heard someone else being as mean to us as we are to ourselves sometimes we'd give her a slap! (IYSWIM!)

14 months is totally normal and not anything to worry about. Ironically I was worried about my ds because he was such an early walker. He walked before 9 months and was full-on running for hours at 9 months. It looked so freaky that I was convinced that he had ADHD or aspergers. Thankfully he has calmed down now and although active, he is not unusually manic.

!4 months is fine- well within the normal range. As I posted on the other thread - 3 "normal" kids here- 15 month walking bum shuffler, 15 month walking crawler (actually and early crawling baby!) and a crawling 20 month old walker who ran on her knees.

DD1 and DD2 saw a physio as they wouldn't tale weight on their feet at all at over 12 months- they never stood on your lap and bounced like other babies at all- strange LOL

BTW DD1 is 18 and and clumsy kutz (could be dyspraxic, doesn't need a label, she's doing fine, DS is very sporty but not terribly coordinated though getting better and DD2- the really late walker is very coordinated and neat as she moves/runs.

So I don't think, within the "normal spectrum" you can infer anything about future development.

See your GP if not walking by 18 months, but that's still usually fine- it just lets them get the relevant checks lined up for 20-22 months when it probably is "out side the normal range" though statistically still likely to be a normal child! It is worth getting babies, who like my girls wont take weight through their legs checked out though as it can be a marker for hip issues.

Ignore the person in the park. DD1 was a bum shuffler didn't really crawl although she did make an attempt at 18 months. Didn't walk until she was 21 months. She is now 24 got a first in a Zoology degree and is teaching science at a Secondary School in London. She isn't autistic or in fact have any special needs. Some children are just late developers.

DD1 walked at 17.5 months and to reassure you is now super sporty and the best swimmer in her year. She competes in under 8s though she is only just 5. DS1 not walking at 15 months but is happy and chatty and can stand quite merrily.

Hasn't even crossed my mind to be worried about them!

As a parent of a child with autism and learning disabilities, which is severe (non-verbal, non-communicating 3.7 year old). As discussed in another thread he was a late walker - 20 months. 14 months is not late at all and the stranger shouldn't have made such a comment. It should only be a concern if she was late for several milestones and even then it does not mean there is 100% something wrong.

I was told by health visitors for all 3 of my children that anything up to 18 months is "normal" and there is no major concern until they're two and still non-walkers.

What an unhelpful comment! DD didn't crawl until after she started walking and I got a lot of similar dire predictions about the evils of not crawling. She's absolutely fine, spatial awareness is fine, and she'll now crawl if she needs to (like crawling under or over something) but never really saw it as a means of getting from A to B.
I've heard that babies often concentrate on one skill and leave the next main leap until later, so late walkers are often more verbal (DD certainly is...)

DS1 took ages to sit up unaided, never really crawled but went straight to 'walking' around furniture holding on. He didn't walk until 14 months. DS2 crawled and crawled and crawled so didn't bother with the walking until about 16 months I think

I was a bit panicky about it at the time as my nieces and nephew had all walked around 9/10 months so I thought that was the norm

I am pleased to report no lasting effects to either of them through being "late" walkers