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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What to tell DD1(3) about periods?

46 replies

bessie26 · 06/01/2012 00:34

I think I'm just about to get my period back after having DD2(8m), any tips on how to phase things so DD1(3.2) doesn't get freaked out by it when she notices?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MudAndGlitter · 06/01/2012 05:15

Why would your DD notice?

sommewhereelse · 06/01/2012 06:19

OP probably has a child who follows her everywhere, even to the toilet.

I just told my DCs that adult women sometimes bleed from the place where babies come out, the bleeding doesn't hurt us (no need to go into the cramps etc) and we use protection to keep our underwear clean.

When they are little like this, if you aren't freaked out telling them, they won't be freaked out receiving the info.

DS asked 'why' about the bleeding, perhaps around the age of 5 and I explained about the womb lining itself in case of a baby. Just recently, he asked me whether the bleedings stops when women get too old to have babies. So now he knows a little about the menopause. He's 8!

whyme2 · 06/01/2012 06:26

Or you could explain that you need to go to the toilet on your own . . . just a thought.

Somehow I seem to have managed to have an 8yr old and a 3 yr old who are oblivious to my plight once a month.

I do remember my DM telling me on one occasion when I asked (as a child) that it is just a little bit of blood that ladies have sometimes and she has a "plaster" to catch it all like you would on a grazed knee.

Harmims · 06/01/2012 06:31

My 3.5 yo has asked. I have answered honestly, thou I know I am going to face more pressing questions from dd (2) who has already figured out that she will bleed.

nooka · 06/01/2012 06:32

I can't remember what I told my two, but I agree with sommewhereelse if you are matter of fact about it then your dd should take it in her stride. I can remember dd telling people that "Mummy's got blood" when she was very small (she was only really interested as I didn't take them swimming when I had my period). Someone here described it as the blood washing out the nest that was ready for the potential baby. I thought that was a way that a littlie could probably understand.

fuzzpig · 06/01/2012 06:38

DD is 4.6 and I haven't told her yet. She is really freaked out by blood (not sure why as DH and I are totally unsqueamish) and knowing would really upset her I think. She has a wild imagination and is prone to nightmares.

She has seen STs in my knickers before, and called them nappies. Really hope she hasn't mentioned that at school...

Ishtar2410 · 06/01/2012 06:53

DD asked when she was very young. I just told her that women bleed, it doesn't hurt and it's just to show that I can have a baby if I want.

DS has just started asking (he's nearly 3), told him the same.

I use a mooncup so things are a bit more obvious!

nooka · 06/01/2012 06:53

fuzzpig my dd is/was similar (she is 11 now, and still a bit inclined to get freaked by cuts and grazes) but she really wasn't concerned abut my periods, even though if she cut herself she really did get incredibly upset.

sommewhereelse · 06/01/2012 07:47

whyme, you make it sound so simple. I guess some children accept 'I need to go to the toilet on my own'.

But what would you say to a child that asks 'why do you need to go to the toilet on your own?' and asks 'why?' about anything you say. In the end, if the child is the curious type you either end up telling them or making secrecy about periods a big deal. I think the first is healthier.

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/01/2012 07:53

I told my DD when she was about 3 that a mummy has the chance to make a baby every month and that she makes a special cushion for the baby while it's growing. If the mummy doesn't make a baby that month, the cushion comes out of the mummy with some blood. It doesn't hurt and it shows that your body is working as it should.

Why wouldn't you give some approximation of the truth?

whyme2 · 06/01/2012 08:03

ah I didn't say it was simple or the dcs accepted it easily. I have to had to firmly insist. I have four dcs and I tell them that I am allowed to have five minutes by myself because Grandma says (and she can be quite scary)!

But I have not set out to hide anything tbh and I have answers ready if I need them. I just think that I am allowed some privacy.

And they have seen my stash of ST's and tampons but never asked what they are for. Although ds when he was 3 used two entire packets of panty liners and sts to decorate the toilet with. Oh and one on each foot as slippers.

cory · 06/01/2012 08:55

I felt it was a great advantage that dcs noticed early so I could explain about periods before they were old enough to be grossed out. Made it much easier when dd started her periods aged 10 that this was something she had "always" known about.

rubyrubyruby · 06/01/2012 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeWe · 06/01/2012 09:31

I explained to both my girls about the "special cushion" coming out after the next baby came! They were quite happy with the concept, and rather liked the idea of a baby cushion inside. I remember being out somewhere I didn't know and really needing the toilet, and ,after asking someone, dd2 asked in all innocence "is your cushion coming out again mummy?".

Ds age 2 discovered compact tampax will fire across the room if you push the end of the applicator in quickly. Fun!

Chundle · 06/01/2012 13:10

I took dd2 to a public loo with me and she noticed she started shouting "yucky blue poo " at the top of her voice! Very embarassing! She is only 2.4 and doesn't know her colours yet and clearly didn't distinguish between poo and blood! Won't be taking her in with me again!

peppajay · 06/01/2012 13:15

Both my kids 3 and 5 know I have periods or pids as my 3 yr old calls them they see me change the sanitary towels and my 5 yr old knows its something that happens if I don't want a baby and when you are pregnant you don't have periods.

My 3 yr DS went to pre school one day before xmas and when the workers took the kids to the toilet he pulled some tissue out of his pants and put a new one in and said he was changing his pid!!!! We are a very open family though just like my parents were and I knew the rough info about periods from an early age!!

Callisto · 06/01/2012 13:48

DD (now 6) has always known I think, just like she has always known about how babies are made. I am always honest and factual with her about everything, I just try and pitch it all at her level. FGS don't get embarrassed or evasive, just be matter of fact.

BlackSwan · 06/01/2012 14:20

I remember noticing my mother's modess pads hanging on the back of the bathroom door when I was very young & wondering what they were - I chalked it up to just another one of those things I didn't understand because I was a kid and my mother told me nothing about periods until I was about 9.

I would give a curious 3 y.o. the brush off if he/she asked. It's just not important for them to know anything about it at that age, or to form any opinions about it.

heliumballoon · 06/01/2012 14:31

I take the same approach as I would if DD were asking about .. Well, just about anything in life. I certainly don't think it is ever too young to know about your own body, it's just a matter of getting an age appropriate response when the question comes up. So DD knows that blood comes out of her mummy's fanny sometimes, and cotton wool wipes it up, and when she is a lady blood will come out of her fanny. I would take a similar approach to questions about any other parts of the body, from ears downwards.

festi · 06/01/2012 14:39

I wouldnt tell her unless she notices and asks TBH. I remember noticing my mums at a yoiung age and never thought much of it.

My dd fell over last year when she was 4 and did the splits on a tiled floor and she actually bled a little. she was horrified and I just said to her its O.K its probably very natural to have bled from having a ghard knock, but as there was no cut on her leg etc she was a bit mifed, so I told her that grwon up girls and ladies bleed from there. she asked if thats why I have those green things for and I then explained periods and why woman have them. DD actually forgot this when she asked a few days ago a similar question about tampax. so your dd at 3 may forget a big explination.

Original poster

bessie26 · 06/01/2012 14:46

Thanks for all your replies.

Yes, DD1 & I go to the bathroom together - I sit on the loo & she sits on the potty (and sometimes DD2 lays on the change mat too) - we have no shame privacy secrets!

I remember my mum telling me she only found out about periods & how babies were made when she was a teenager & was pretty freaked out by it, so like alot of you, I'm keen for the DDs to know a bit about stuff like this from a very early age, I was just wondering how to word it!

Thanks for your suggestions - I think I'll go with the fact that mummies sometimes bleed, it doesn't hurt and it's just to show that I can have a baby if I want. I'll elaborate with the cushion stuff later if/when needed!

OP posts:

notcitrus · 06/01/2012 14:49

Ds (now 3) is much less hassle to have in the loo with me than try to keep him out.
I got 'Ooh, funny shaped poo' and said something like that's not a poo, it's... well it would be a special cushion made of blood for a baby if I had a baby growing in my tummy but I don't so it's come out instead. [glazed over look]

Result is he doesn't call it poo any more but thinks they are Rorschach blots to analyse... 'you got a crocodile in your pants mummy... no that's not a tail... it's a car!' Etc...

Better than me getting to age 11 with no clue, at least.

RillaBlythe · 06/01/2012 14:54

the idea of being able to go to the toilet by myself is frankly laughable.

I haven't had a period in a year thanks to DD2, but DD1 managed to identify the tampons as "mummy's willy". She particularly enjoyed doing so in public toilets.

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 06/01/2012 14:55

I seem to have kept it all fairly much to myself ... although have occasionally mentioned it and shown both dd and ds a tampon etc.

Seriously wondering if I've said enough as dd is 12 and could start hers anytime soon ( though I do rather hope, like me, she might have a couple more years without the hassle )

She has friends who've started and talked with her about it a bit.
I think we need to talk more ... but what should I say ?
Perhaps tell her more when I've got my period for starters ?
Wondering if she should have some SanPro in her school bag (eg. in little purse) too. Or can she just ask someone at school if it happens there ?

Help me get sorted Mners !

RillaBlythe · 06/01/2012 15:02

My eldest is 3, Juggling, so what do I know... but she should definitely have some sanpro in her bag at school - don't make her have to ask someone when she might be embarrassed to mention it. & it would be a good idea maybe to look at the sanpro with her - it's not complicated to figure out by yourself but why should she.

We had a school nurse we could go to if we were caught out but I imagine most schools don't.

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