What to tell DD1(3) about periods?

[bessie26]

I think I'm just about to get my period back after having DD2(8m), any tips on how to phase things so DD1(3.2) doesn't get freaked out by it when she notices?

If she comes into the loo with you I would make sure that she definitely knows it is blood. I used to come into the bathroom with my Mum when I was about her age, and although I knew all about periods I didn't know that it was blood that came out. And I remember being so shocked and scared when the first time I saw it was bright red blood.

As many of you have suggested, I explained about all mummies' bodies getting ready in case they had a baby and then clearing everything out painlessly if they didn't. Mini-atropos had no problem with this except she had to ask "What? Even Sally?" (one of her friends' slightly controlling mums).

Juggling, why don't you buy her some towels and tampons (you can get sort of "variety packs" with different absorbencies - sounds much more fun than it really is :o) and maybe something like one of those small hot water bottles (if she doesn't have one already)? Then you can find some time to give her the stuff just in case she needs it, and have a bit of a chat with her about what she knows about periods. I imagine the school will have gone through what happens biologically, but it might be good to know about how you can feel a bit teary or be annoyed with people beforehand, and what she can do if it hurts etc.

When I got mine I don't think I had to talk to anyone about it (mum, friends etc) until I wanted to, because I had everything I needed.

You don't want her to worry . :o

Thanks Rilla - I'll do that - was thinking I ought to just the other day ( talk it through with dd again, choose some protection for her, and make sure she has it on her in her school bag ) She's really in to bags at the moment so that could be a bit of a way in eg. She just gave her friend a nice little bag for her birthday today, so perhaps we could chose/find one for her too

juggling no idea what you would say to her, but think she should defo have something in her bag just incase. I'm sure the school office would sort her out if needed, but if it's her first period she might not want to explain to her friends why she needs to go there or to the office staff what she needs!

DD1 found a ST in my wash bag when we were on holiday last summer, she was more interested by the little sticker which kept it wrapped up than anything else!

I can just imagine your dd at 3 playing with the sticker !
What is it with kids and stickers !

I'm sure my dd would thank you all for helping me get my arse in gear organised dear MNers - and possibly saving her the embarrassment. ( Just got to remember now - action needed ! )

The YouTube clip was very instructional and amusing too Elephants

• even if the girl did scream in my ear through the headphones while I was sorting out the volume

Juggling why don't you take your dd with you next time you go shopping and choose some sanitary towels together? It doesn't have a to be a particularly big deal, just say that you thought she should be prepared as some of her friends have started and ask her which ones she likes the look of. dd (11) and I bought all sorts (I've been an Always girl for years, so never really tried anything else), and I've been testing them out when I have my period. I've also encouraged her to open them up and put them in my knickers when I have a period so she can test out how they work and which ones she thinks might be best for her.

We also talked about whether she might like to celebrate her first period when it comes (there was a thread here about someone doing that, which I used as a bit of an intro - asked her what she thought). Just keep it fairly light and let her ask any questions she might have really.

My DD has been curious about my periods since she was about 3.

I told her similar to what belledamesansmerci says...mummy makes a nice comfy bed in her tummy every month and it is waiting for a new baby. If there isn't a new baby that month then the blood is just like mummy's body changing the sheets I have explained about eggs since then and that she also has them and this will happen when she is older. She seemed to take it all in her stride really Little 'uns don't need a massive volume of anatomically correct details just some soft basics and non-scary info is enough

I found just exlaining it in terms of my body knowing there wasn't a baby and getting rid of it's 'nest' for next time worked. DS1 first asked when he was around 5 I think (I had no periods until he was 4.9 and then he saw me emptying my mooncup).
I just answer questions as they come - so far they know that mummies have an edd and daddies have a 'seed' and they make a baby. In preparation for the baby the mummies uterus makes a nest and if there is no seed to make the egg into a babe the nest comes out as blood.
I hfound e would ask a question and if the answer was enough he'd go away and think aboiut it then come back if he needed more info.
My attitude is that these are facts of lie and so I relay tham as facts. I'd rather that than a 'Big Talk' like I had with my mum at the age of 11.

*facts of life not lie

Hi nooka and all,

I think I'd have to buy a variety of things and show them to dd at home though.

I can't see me and dd nonchalantly discussing which would be best in an aisle in the supermarket ! I'm just not that chilled about the whole thing.

I will try to summon up as much chilledness as I can to talk things over at home with her though, and get her organised with something in her school bag in case she needs it one day.

It's been interesting to read all the explanations you've given your DCs - I think I might use a few of those with dd. ( We have talked briefly before, but I feel maybe I need to bring it into the conversation a bit more often now she's nearly a teenager )

Hi Juggling, good luck with being chilled with your dd, I think that's definitely the zone to be in. My discussion in the store with dd was mostly on which packaging she liked Kotex were the ones that took her fancy the most, as they come in a black box with colourful wraps.

my DS asked me if I was a dougnut as I had jam coming out of me

My approach was very like Sommewhereelse - DS was velcroed to my side for years and there was no chance of going to the loo on my own! I told him that there was a lovely soft lining inside in case an egg needed it to turn into a baby, but that if there wasn't an egg it came out with some blood, and the tampon made sure there wasn't any mess. And my STs are, of course, mummy's little nappies. I would rather he didn't feel there was anything mysterious or embarrassing about menstruation.

That's a classic Dartfordmummy

And Thanks for your good wishes nooka - I think you're all more chilled than me, but it's good to have folks to air these things with - it seems more tricky to me in RL

I came on yesterday and my DD (3) came to the toilet with me and she saw my ST and asked. It was so lovely to sit and talk to her in such a simple, non anatomical way and her just accepting what I told her. No look of fear, and she even asked if she will have one when she's a big girl. I just said that it's called a period and it means mummys body can have a baby if it wants to but if it doesnt it bleeds for a little while and it doesn't hurt and all ladies get them.

I never had this growing up. I got an awful explanation of how it hurts and how heavy and horrible they are and I grew up dreading them and hid them from my mum for about 6 months. I don't want my DD to be scared of something so natural.

I have no qualms about her accompanying me to the toilet, there is no such thing as tmi in my house. I want her to be body confident and confident about being a healthy woman (when she gets there!) :)

I'd be perfectly happy to discuss it with the DCs, DD (5) and I still share a cubicle in public loos because we like having the company and she can't always manage the flush by herself. Both DCs also wander in while I am on the loo at home, which is fine. But I've got the mirena coil and haven't had a period for 3 years so the opportunity hasn't and isn't going to come about because of my needs. It has occurred to me that I will need to explain sometime, but not sure how I am going to raise the subject, I still have a stash of tampons so I was thinking I might get them out of the back of the cupboard and leave them somewhere where they might invite questions.

Hopefully once you start talking it will be OK and you will relax Juggling. Like a few others here my mother told me bugger all, and was also very unsupportive when I did start (I'm the youngest of three so you woudl have thought she woudl have got it right by the time I started!) so I vowed I'd not go down the pretend it doesn't happen route. Plus I have a much bigger sister who had her children 10 years before mine, so I got to see how she handled it and realise that being open about (pretty much) everything wasn't a problem. Although ds did disappear fairly sharpish the other night when we were talking about why people were more 'frightened' by men being homosexual than women and got into the mechanics (although it might have been dd talking about dildos that did it!)

whoknows funny you should say about leaving some tampons out, my expected period hasn't happened yet, so I was thinking about doing the same thing!

alovely I hope my conversation with DD1 goes as well as yours did

When my cousin was 3[1952] we were all on a camping holiday and he emerged from their tent with 2 of the old fashioned sanitary towels[clean] which he was twirling on his finers by the loops[one each hand] shoutint 'helicopter helicopter!!'. I was 8 and didnt see why all the men were embarrassed and all the women hysterical.When I asked mum said,'they are special bandages in case someone hurts themselves!'