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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do your kids irritate you

58 replies

Fairyloo · 25/12/2011 23:56

Hi,

My 6 year old is very easily excited, screeches, shouts, giddy, doesn't do as she is told. She is ok when it's just us, but when others are there she is so giddy. My patience is non existinent I just think 'stop screaming' then hate myself for not being more patient.

She is worse when had sweets is that normal or could she be sugar sensitive. She makes me feel on edge all the time,

Sometimes I feel being a mum is too hard and I really want to be patient and loving but end up frazzled and irritated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Friendlymum67 · 26/12/2011 23:51

Oh I can empathise with everyone too. My DS isn't so bad - apart from when he's winding his sister up - but I am a single parent and my DD (9) won't go to her dad's any more for various reasons and I SOOOOOO miss my alone time. This has been a very long week and I am already dreading the next week - I love her to bits but feel smothered by her :(

peppersaunt · 27/12/2011 17:20

First posting. So relieved to see other mums get driven crazy by DCs constant chattering. Desperately crave some space, peace and quiet! Feel am horrible cow to snap at her as much as I do!

SolidGoldStockingFilla · 27/12/2011 17:21

Me too. DS is lovelyk, very clever, very chatty... and sometimes I am unreasonably snappy as constantly stressed over our awful financial situation.

Molehillmountain · 27/12/2011 17:31

Absolutely I do! I have three although as yet dd2 doesn't come into it as she is six months. I am more tired and less patient. I had prope one to one with dd the other day, shopping trip into town and coffee and cake and it really helped me to see how calm, sensible and lovely she was once on her own. I refer back to it frequently when the same cant be said a d it keeps me saner! The guilt and regret for feeling irritated is much worse than the irritation itself. If I hear one more mummy telling me how much they enjoy the school holidays...

HotCrossNun · 27/12/2011 18:39

Yes. Oh God yes. They never stop.
Most of my kids have all grown up now, yet they still manage to annoy the hell out of their poor old mother. One of them left a message on the answerphone last week, and just the sound of his voice made me wince a little. Maybe it's because I miss him. But I doubt it He always was a bit of a nasal talker, no matter how many how times I told him; "TALK THROUGH YOUR BLOODY MOUTH" I used to say to him. But enough about my son's speech impediments...
Each of my offspring has their own individual way of annoying me, which is kind of nice I suppose, but I struggle to appreciate that when my 16 year old son pisses all over the bathroom floor and makes no attempt to inform me, let alone clear it up
I suppose 6 is a difficult age, but it definitely improves. I reckon there's a window of time just before the teen years where you can have vaguely pleasant, intelligent conversations with one's children. But then they become teenagers and feel all too obliged to tell you how much they despise you etc.

liveinazoo · 27/12/2011 18:47

orritate me?they drive me to the edge of insanity sometimes!!!!!the girls never shut up and i get irritated by the constant noise espacially when im trying to concentrate.ds just learnt to torment them so its chaos refereeing.i love them to bits but sometimes just cant wait til they ar ea ll asleep and its quiet..then i sneak into their rooms and watch them sleep for a bit.theyre lovely when they arent demanding anything of you

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 19:24

They irritate me at least once a day!

They try to talk over each other all the time, it just gets louder and louder until I cant stand it. Ds is constantly picking at things, twisting his hair, making tsk tsssk tsk tssk noises, jiggling his legs. They poke and prod each other over dinner, fight and say awful things to each other. Dd is a messer, she wont leave anything alone, everything has to be done/opened/used that second, even when I told her again and again to leave it. "dd, dont get that toy out just yet, let me clear this away first" two minutes later "whaaa, i've broken my toy because I tripped" (on the stuff I was putting away) "dd i'm cooking, give me a min and i'll make you a drink"...juice all over the floor. "dd let me just move this iron away safely and i'll make you a snack" seconds later, cheese on the floor, cat trying to take food from the fridge.

Trying to get out of the house is a NIGHTMARE. Get ready please, ds stop wandering around in your pants and get dressed. Dd get your shoes on. Ds PLEASE GET Dressed. Well she's not doing it, that's because he's not doing it....on and on and on. 45 mins later.....

I feel so guilty, I adore them but they frazzle my head much of the time!

butterflyexperience · 27/12/2011 20:27

I'm the same!

Wish I was a more patient parent.

Think it would make me a better mum

Original poster

Fairyloo · 27/12/2011 22:22

Oh god love you lot! Thought it was just me!! Everyone else seems so patient!!!

OP posts:

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 28/12/2011 09:01

Ah, but, Fairyloo, people see me with my very challenging dc3 (just posted an epic about him on another thread!) and comment on how calm, patient and restrained I am with him.

The face you present when other adults are around is rarely strictly truthful...

Molehillmountain · 28/12/2011 09:16

Oh, how true! I get that a lot too-that I'm patient. I have to speak slowly and in another voice to remind myself it's not another adult I'm dealing with.

MudAndGlitter · 28/12/2011 09:19

I am so relieved it's not just me! I thought it was just me being a shite parent so I'm really pleased that lots of people feel the same.

SilveryMoon · 28/12/2011 09:28

It is far easier to parent in public I find.
I was in my local supermarket not so long ago and ds1 was throwing the Queen Mother of all tantrums.
When I'd finished my shopping and was queuing at the kiosk, a man came up to me and said "Excuse me, I just wanted to say that I saw your boy having a tantrum up there. Me and my wife are expecting our first child and if we can handle things like you just did we will be well on our way to being very good parents"
he couldn't have seen or heard me screaming "get up off that fucking floor now!"

Molehillmountain · 28/12/2011 09:32

I love it when the first floor of a department store thinks I am mother of the year based on what they've witnessed, whereas the ground floor staff would be handing me the number for super nanny-five minutes apart

DontCallMeBaby · 28/12/2011 09:48

DD sings all the time. Which is very sweet. Yes it is. As a friend with three DCs said when I was having a little whinge. That sounds very sweet. Well, up to a point. When it's the same two, non-consecutive lines of The Holly and The Ivy over and OVER again, it gets a little irritating. When it descends into silly voices, then I lose it (the normal redeeming feature is that she actually has a lovely voice, unlike her mother).

If she's not singing, she talks constantly, she's almost never still, she never listens, she takes forever to do anything, if she does it at all.

I'm always reminded of a question someone asked on another forum - if you're an introvert, and find other people's company wearing after a while, it IS different with your own children, isn't it? Erm, yes and no. My tolerance for DD is greater than it would be for anyone else who sang randomly all the time and didn't listen to a word I said, but it's not infinite. :o

She's 7, and I do love her to bits, of course (she told me herself the other day she 'puts the joy into life', and she's not wrong).

ThePathanKhansWitch · 28/12/2011 21:13

Oh Jesus, so the talking doesn't stop as they get a bit older? fuck,fuck. fuck.

Lovethesea · 28/12/2011 22:08

You are not alone. I am so aware it is better for DD (3) and DS (18 months) if there is no radio or cbeebies on so they can play and hear their own voices clearly .... but there are times when I have the radio on or cbeebies precisely SO none of us can hear their voices clearly.

DS hardly speaks yet but can scream/shriek/sob for England when thwarted. DD talks/whines/sings/chats/monologues/asks/wails/cries for 12 hours a day. I like to be alone. I like my head space. I like silence. I like adult chat. I am with them 24/7.

Worst is when they do a double act; current favourite is arguing over a toy, a body wrestle, DS bites DD as she clings onto the toy she has grabbed off him, DD screams in pain then sobs, DS looks unapologetic and then wails when told No and gets put in the hallway for a moment apart (which hardly works because he can open the lounge door anyway), I try and shower DD with attention (to make biting even more pointless, look DS, you bite and get ignored and DD gets lots of mummy time) but that's useless because DD is hurt and telling me to go away and doesn't want a cuddle and now DS has opened the lounge door and is heading for the bloody toy again and it's all starting again. Usually while I am making dinner and DH has phoned to say he doesn't expect to be in anytime before bed.

I am looking for a part time job....

whomovedmychocolate · 28/12/2011 22:10

Of course they are irritating, they are just like us, only smaller, faster and they think it's really funny when we get cross!

Don't worry, not long now till they are back at school.

(I hide in the kitchen and have a cup of tea when they really piss me off).

Lovethesea · 28/12/2011 22:11

School ... what is this school you talk of!??!

whomovedmychocolate · 28/12/2011 22:29

Bide your time lovethesea. Eventually they ALL go to school - hurrah!

Molehillmountain · 28/12/2011 22:32

Unless you home educate!!! Not for us I'm afraid!

RalphGnu · 28/12/2011 23:11

Ahhhhhh, school.

Lovethesea · 28/12/2011 23:25

I am not considering homeschooling.

I have never considered homeschooling.

Homeschooling would not be my happy place.

TheRoundTable · 29/12/2011 11:11

My kids,especially the older one,irritate me! It's some relief to find this thread! She eats/licks everything-her pencils,fingers,pillows;she is so fidgety and can't sit still-she is 7!!! She is soooo loud too-quite polite and obedient,but moves like an elephant! DH had to ask me if we made that much noise when walking around the house. And her voice!!!

I nag and nag and then feel guilty and promise myself I'd bite my tongue next time,but think used to complaining now Don't know if to ignore the irritating habits and focus on her manners. A book said 'don't sweat the small stuff'. Surely that is relative?

Younger one is calmer,but talks in a whiney voice a lot of the time. Can't wait for her to start school.

Molehillmountain · 29/12/2011 12:02

Part of the problem is that dd1 is just like me, only over the years I think I've worked on my less socially acceptable points! I used to talk all the time, be a bit lively and basically all the things that drive me mad. So part of the irritation is worry that she'll have a hard route through early life and wanting to speed up the process. And partly feeling guilty about somehow not helping her to become the docile, calm, thoughtful creature that somewhere in my mind children are happiest being. And I guess she has my good points too, only I'm not loving enough to myself to give myself enough credit for those. But mainly, especially over the holidays, it's like being stuck in a lift with only my former self for company.

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