3 yr old daughter refuses to wear coat or cardigan when we go out. driving me crazy & making me miserable

[skiptatheloo]

please help! it's cold out there, why won't she wear a coat? i have a range of cardigans and she claims they are all scratchy (even though she wore them all without a problem last year). i have tried ignoring it, forcing it (she just removes item), withdrawing privileges. today she sat in the park crying for 45 minutes because i refused to put her on the swing until she wore her coat. unbelievably stubborn. feel like i shouldn't have to bribe her 2x a day to wear a frikkin' coat! help. is making me dread going out!

Whats the worst that will happen if she doesn't wear a coat? She'll be a bit chilly. And probably decide she wants to wear one after all

Mine don't see the point of putting a coat on until they are cold. They say no if I ask them in our nice warm house. If I let them go out of the door and feel the weather then they are more likely to say yes. If they still say no, I just stick the coats in the buggy. Judging by the parents I see on the school run, carrying coats (and bags) seems to be the reason to have a buggy!

hotdamn uniCorny. it was all systems go on the boden fleece until she caught sight of the pink one... which they don't have in her size

phone them - they may have one in stock not showing up

This is the fleece DS has www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+reversible-hooded-sweatshirts-in-boys-jumpers-and-sweatshirts+B2175

It's lined and reversible and thicker than a sweatshirt. They have boys and girls' ones.

She knows it gets to you. Kids aren't stupid and it's something which she can control out of her day

I'd ignore, let her walk out in a frigging vest if needs be. She'll learn.

Belgo - she doesn't rule when we go out. She wants to go out so she puts her coat on. I don't do it if it's somewhere she doesn't want to go. Not sure why I'm justifying myself mind. Works for me.

OP - are you worried about what people will think as well as worried about her? Not judging - I know I was like this with DS1.

This is not worth a battle and unhappiness - either she's genuinely not cold or she's doing a typical 3 year old "control" thing. Let her have this little bit of self-determination, but take a cardi. Lots of DCs don't like bulky coats.

Also - try her in a thermal vest?

If she's cold... then she'll soon learn. Mine all did.

Another thing I used to do was rather than say "Put your coat on" was to offer a choice "Would you like your coat on forwards or backwards?" Worked very well. Although one person did stop me to tell me dd2 had her coat on backwards... age 2 and with the zip and buttons perfectly done up behind.

I've had this with DD1 for a while - she's now 4 and seems to be getting worse! Nor will she wear tights, and frankly she just makes me feel cold to look at her sometimes!

If you can ignore the tuts of passers-by (it's amazing what practice can do...) then I'd agree that it's best just to do what you can. Our saving grace is that DD1 will at least wear vests and knee socks so we have lots of thermal ones from M&S - got some more last week.

She won't wear fleeces or cardis either and spent yesterday scampering around the garden in a vest .and tutu . I just make sure I take a coat or something out with us if we're going out - if it's really cold, she will ask for it. Our other great investment was a load of fleece blankets for the car - she just loves being snuggled up in them.

Annoying though, isn't it!

You are hot. Someone else tells you to put on something that will make you feel hotter, would you accept it?? It's hardly freezing at the moment, if it was snowing or raining I could understand your persistence but really, as someone else said- what's the worst that could happen, she gets cold, realises it isn't a 'power game' any more and puts her coat on. She's 3 not a baby, let her start to feel like she has some control over decisions and she'll be more accepting of your rules- try it, what have you got to lose?

just take a coat with you so she has the option of putting one on if she wants, its not big deal she will at some point get cold and realise she wants a coat on, but its not that cold yet, my ds2 has been out in shorts and t-shirt, even on the way home from school at 4:30 when it is getting dark and chilly, but he never stops moving and just doesnt feel the cold.

you could let her pick a coat/thick cardigan or a bodywarmer thing (coat wihtout sleeves?) but i just wouldnt make an issue of it, its not a big deal.

Without meaning to sound harsh, why are you making a problem where none exists?

Surely you ask a 3 year old if they want to put their coat on, they say no, you say OK I'll just pop in the bag and you let me know if you get cold.

I honestly don't see why this is even an issue, don't make something a battle of wills or neither of you will enjoy going out.

In terms of a cardigan, my DD will wear something like this of a very soft fleece.

We think it's cold because a) it's November and b) because we've just got out of our warm cars.
DD2 and her friends aren't bothered about the calendar and are racing about the front of school like lunatics.
They are not cold and cannot understand why the mums think they should be wearing their coats.
DD2 also takes after her dad, who's been known to wear sandals in the snow

No amount of asking, pleading, exceptional powers of persuasion, bribing, tricking, begging, threatening, shouting or cursing will get my DS1 (5) to do ANYTHING he doesn't want to do. Now, I ask 3 times to do something for example, put his coat on. If he doesn't then he'll just go out and be cold. He insists on learning the hard way.

Many times he has gone out without a coat / jumper as he refused to put one on.

Many a time he has lost / broken things when refusing to listen to advice.

Many a time he has gone hungry when he won't eat his dinner.

IMO the 3's are far worse than the 2's as they are learning that their actions can make them get what they want, they find it frustrating not being able to express their feelings properly and they have the word, "No", down to a T!

My advice would be to pick your battles carefully. It's not ideal that she won't put one on as it's freezing, but it won't kill her not to wear it and you'll save yourself sprouting a few extra grey hairs over the stress.

Not worth the argument. Take the coat with you, then if she wants it, she can have it.

My daughter loves wearing a body warmer, even if she some wear a coat, would your daughter tolerate one?

Back off. Don't mention coats. Take one with you. When sHe gets cold she'll ask for it. But if you make it into a big deal she won't.

Oh, and don't worry about the croup- colder air is good for it. My dd used to suffer quite badly and I used to take her outside into the garden at night- it was the best thing to ease it. Worked much better than steam.

You could try passing off a small fleece blanket as a "superhero cape" - it works well on coat refusers at my nursery. Sometimes they will even wear the detachable hood from the coat too
Another option is scarves or hats. Sometimes DCs who hate the restrictions of coats are happy to stay warm with those.

I think some people done actually understand your problem here but I do.
They say she will put her coat on when she is cold, however mine won’t, she will be body popping coz she so cold and will refuse to wear a coat or a jumper. Super frustrating. The other day we had to return home coz I could let her walk in high winds witb no coat and her freezing and still refusing to put the bloody thing on.
Went home took all her dresses away and iPad and waited till she agreed to wear trousers underneath and a coat. That took 2 hours. And I don’t have time for that during the week. So when she says no I just go out and bring the coat with me, but even then when I see her cold she will still refuse to wear it and I don’t want we getting lll.
I’m thinking of a body warmer for her to see if that works. Abd usually options has worked for her in the past lol but if you find something that works please tell me 😂