Are these signs of asd? Or just normal toddler behaviour?

[Moulesfrites]

My friend is worried about her 16 mo ds as he shows quite obsessive behaviour and she isnt sure if it could be a sign that he is on the spectrum. I don't know about these this and my ds is only 7mo so not sure what is normal for a toddler, but I said I would ask on here...

He gets obsessed about odd little things eg he loves playing with door handles and gets upset if he can't get to them.

She has bought him 4 identical comfort toys as she knows how upset he would be to lose one.

He is funny about grass - doesn't like sitting on it, touching it etc, which she thinks could be a sensory thing?

As I said, I have no idea what this means, but thought there would be someone on here who does!

jimjams - your posts are informative and I take on board you points. If only all posted like you though

It did go a bit pear shaped that thread, but that is pretty rare on SN. I do think people in general meant well and were trying to be helpful it just got a bit angry in places. I am pleased things have worked out for your son though. :)

"I think the 'bad enough to cause problems' for me is paramount"

Yes, these problems are only a disorder if ordinary life in the outside world is very problematic as a result. Yet a child/adult who doesn't need an ASD label can have profound similarities with a child/adult for whom the condition is disabling - it's just degree and how far off course you go. After a certain point of difficulty, I imagine the precise accuracy of the label and the medical models is no longer your biggest problem as a parent - you just want help and this is the only key to the door that they are showing you.

I'm sorry to hear about your nursery worker experience - she was out of line. And she probably made it sound as if the behaviours she saw were "signs of ASD" in the way that spots are signs of chicken pox - how bloody infuriating.

I declined formal assessment for my child. If anyone had told me I was in denial I think I would have punched them through the computer. But my approach was always treated with respect.

It made me analyse my ds a lot. That had negatives and positives too. I do keep an eye and should any significant problems at school appear I will obviously take the appropiate action. Parents evening soon and it will be interesting to see what his teacher says

I will finish by saying no child is perfect, whatever that means anyway. I doubt any child sails through life with no hurdles. Many will have mental health problems as adults, even if there is no obvious issues as children. The brain is a weird and wonderful thing

of course, absolutely. children are of course also moving targets. I understand about the analysing. My son's language problems were so bad I had no choice but to analyse but it would be nice not to have had to do it because it's not a neutral thing.

I take your point about mental health issues too.

The regulars on the SN boards here understand all this too so, like I said, you were unlucky in that thread - things must have got misunderstood somehow.

Stanley Greenspan wrote powerfully about the effect on parents of labels by the way. Like I say, it isn't neutral.