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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Struggling with three boys!

95 replies

thatsenough · 03/08/2011 16:38

I usually cope quite well with our boys 6,4 and 23 months, but in the last few days seem to have stumbled into a black mood that is affecting the whole family.

The behaviour of the older two has been awful over the last week, generally rude, disobedient and cheeky with constant fighting and bickering.

DS1 refuses to do any of the homework set by his teacher for next term and seems to have forgotten everything he has been taught in the last year - I have tried to stay calm, but have now told him that he's getting no more help and can explain to his teacher why it isn't done

Yes I know he's only six, but I feel so inexplicably angry and can't rationalise why, I had such lovely plans for the holidays for when I'm not at work, but can't even stand to leave the house with them at the moment - so far today I have hidden the scalextrix and thrown away a scooter for bad behaviour - I've told them that oneida foot out of place today and the bears get it.

Do any of you have any good coping strategies as I am really making a hash of things?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FootsFirst · 23/08/2011 15:17

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Original poster

thatsenough · 23/08/2011 15:27

Well you are so very lucky - the noise levels in my house require ear defenders on occasion! It is a relief to live in a detached house; they can be quiet too, but that is usually when I start to wonder what they are plotting!

OP posts:

FootsFirst · 23/08/2011 17:26

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FootprintsOnTheMoon · 23/08/2011 19:10

Well, I live in a 3 bed house in a terraced estate, where the majority of neighbours are older & without kids. The people who do have kids where I live and in the circles that I move in (e.g. School, swimming lessons) tend to have only one or two kids. With having more kids, even if they were quieter than the norm, we'd be the loudest family. As it is,they are definitely loud, with excitement and vying to get heard over their sibs and just the testosterone fun of passing the time by pretending to be knights and dragons. My oldest by has speech delay ( more common with boys I believe), and tends to make up in volume what he lacks in clarity.

It is obviously relative. If we lived on a farm, I don't think I'd turn a hair.

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 23/08/2011 19:17

And maybe it doesn't help that last summer we got an anonymous letter asking us to stop letting the children play in the garden (!) because it was a much nicer quieter place before we moved in, and that the children clearly have mental health problems (and I am clearly an inadequate inconsiderate parent) to make that noise. This was a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 2 year old spending twenty unremarkable minutes in the garden between breakfast and the school run, before shipping out to school/ activities/ full days away.

Original poster

thatsenough · 23/08/2011 19:59

Footprints - I really worry about the garden noise - I appologised to my neighbour last year after a particularly loud day involving water fights and a paddling pool, she said not to worry and that she enjoyed hearing them play- strange lady! I hope you ignored the letter - clearly somebody with nothing more important to worry about.

There are very few children in our road and feel we are the noisy family in the corner!

OP posts:

grumpypants · 24/08/2011 08:39

well, if it helps, i am the mother of three boys ALWAYS getting the sympathetic looks from shop assistants and reassurances that they 'go back soon' as they run wild in shops, ignoring me, and crashing into things and people. It makes me seriously want to cry, particularly when older people look at me as if i am a dreadful parent - i am just at a loss as to how to make them stop there and then. Threats are no use, and then when i later remove the nintendo etc they apologise and beg for second chances!

grumpypants · 24/08/2011 08:40

ps i think its the number not the child - two are fine, three tips the balance.

grumpypants · 25/08/2011 19:47

Need this thread to get going again - had a horrible day with the boys! Morrissons, 2 small ones in trolley pushing and fighting over nothing; some bloody old dear muttering about the screaming (say it to my face!); aaaargh! then in the gps full on fight over a plastic truck.
one by one, they are lovely; they behave beautifully when occupied; it's the left to their own devices or bored in a shop bit i can't stand.

livinonaprayer · 25/08/2011 21:02

I've had a miserable day with my 3 today, think they are ready to get back to the school routine now.
They have bickered and moaned all day about everything and nothing.
All in bed now but just feel exhausted thinking about tomorrow!

Original poster

thatsenough · 25/08/2011 23:12

I agree they are more then ready to go back to school, I ended up separating my older two while shopping for the last few bits of school uniform today - DH says they were OK while I was enjoying the peace at work this afternoon and evening!

Looks like it's going to be a rainy day tomorrow - joy!

OP posts:

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 26/08/2011 07:17

Dd speaks of ASDA with awe and wonder - fitting for a place they only get to go to once a year! I've entirely moved onto home delivery/ mail order (or - at a push - going in there with a strict 10 minute time limit).

livinonaprayer · 26/08/2011 07:28

It looks like it will be a welly walk today then to stomp out some energy! Then hopefully a quiet film this afternoon...well I can dream!
I have woken up with an aim to be more positive today so wish me luck!

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 26/08/2011 07:34

Good luck!

grumpypants · 26/08/2011 09:19

i seem to be running out of energy for walking and parks - started off well. might treat myself them to soft play later!

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 26/08/2011 09:57

We're trying a museum today.

I'm weighing up the relative health risks of being sopping wet on public transport versus taking chinks out of each other at home!

grumpypants · 26/08/2011 10:00

we are designing bugs to make out of salt dough and then we are going to get the eyes and legs etc.

so far, so lovely. said 'oh you are lovely today' and the 3 y/o replied 'yes, not like at the doctors!'

youarekidding · 26/08/2011 10:25

Can I sneak in and join?

I only have 1 DS (7 last week) and my god he can create a noise reminisent of a zoo alone.

He runs up and down, gets everything out etc and then sometimes (like now) will play quietly in his room.

I have found lot's of later nights after long walks has helped - so he's tired for a few days and wants to chill.

I lovegrumpys idea. Myself and DS have designed campsites, done paper mache, painting and all sorts. I even managed to turn me ironing into a game. EG can DS put clothes away quicker than I can iron them? Yes he can but the fact he was winning kept him upbeat for the whole hour it took me!!

I love my 'accidents'. Like dropping the pegs on the grass and all the praise I could give DS as he ran back and forth collecting them so I could hang out the washing.

All my friends have girls and I hate the stereotypes but DS does look feral compared to them. He is though the best behaved and the less whiny so that is his saving grace.

FootprintsOnTheMoon · 26/08/2011 19:26

Welcome youarekidding.

I don't have 3 boys either. 2 boys 1 girl 1 bump.

Love your clothes peg story

grumpypants · 27/08/2011 11:00

hi you -sounds like you are on the right track! mine are noisy and active all the time except when plugged in to games. But, attention works really well - they can behave if i am chatting to them etc, it's the down time like now - i am baking and can't play, so they are playing some awful 'i'm a wolf' game which involves screaming and running.

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