Struggling with three boys!

[thatsenough]

I usually cope quite well with our boys 6,4 and 23 months, but in the last few days seem to have stumbled into a black mood that is affecting the whole family.

The behaviour of the older two has been awful over the last week, generally rude, disobedient and cheeky with constant fighting and bickering.

DS1 refuses to do any of the homework set by his teacher for next term and seems to have forgotten everything he has been taught in the last year - I have tried to stay calm, but have now told him that he's getting no more help and can explain to his teacher why it isn't done

Yes I know he's only six, but I feel so inexplicably angry and can't rationalise why, I had such lovely plans for the holidays for when I'm not at work, but can't even stand to leave the house with them at the moment - so far today I have hidden the scalextrix and thrown away a scooter for bad behaviour - I've told them that oneida foot out of place today and the bears get it.

Do any of you have any good coping strategies as I am really making a hash of things?

Nice to read this post as I am a mum to 3 boys as well. They are boisterous, busy, and yes drive me mad sometimes BUT they are fabulous and fun too. I wholeheartedly agree with those who advocate wearing them out, do the exercise first and fingers crossed peace may follow (for a short while at least!)

Very to read the posts from those who would shudder to have three boys etc. I woudnt swap what I am so lucky to have for any other combination.

I am amazed that there are so many of us that feel the same way - I really felt I was the only! Yes, my boys are fab, but they do drive me absolutely dotty at times and the last few days have been trying. Would I swap them? Never!

I am feeling much more postive and ready to take on the rest of the week, although I must admit I'm looking forward to spending a few hours each day until Sunday in work, the break may just keep me sane!

thisisyesterday - I am trying to keep the homework to a minimum, but the teacher for year 2 has sent a letter with very specific directions which I feel obliged to follow DS1 had a fantastic report last term and won the teachers prize for the best in class, but the standard of his work over the last few weeks just doesn't match up. I think a few days break is needed, with maybe just a bit of reading each which he enjoys.

4madboys - loving your ideas!

blimey - can't believe how many of us there are. I was chatting to a friend about this last night (saw Bridesmaids - fantastic. coincidentally one of the characters is a mum of three boys!) and she has one boy and one girl - it just doesn't seem as bad with one of each.
If they are all on the same page, they get on brilliantly. but i am quite envious of a friend with three girls and a boy. it's so much quieter!

3 boys here, too (although DS3 is only 5 months, so not TOO much trouble yet ) and am also finding it hard work! Was so looking forward to summer hols, as really miss DS1 when he is at school (although I know this is not reciprocated, he has told me so many times ) but oh, glory be, the bickering. And the blardy NOISE levels are incredible - both DS1 (5.6) and DS2 (3.6) communicate in a shout at all times, and both screech like banshees when crossed/thwarted/injured (even if v minor/imaginary).

I have been running the legs off the pair of them every day - park, round and round on bikes, in the river (indulging their total disdain for both clothing and shoes - pair of savages), walking everywhere, indoor olympics (slightly against my better judgement, that one, although have earmarked DS2 for either trampolining or diving gold in a future real olympics as a result), rugby, swimming. I am knackered after 2 weeks, they are still going strong! And still shouting. They are gorgeous, though, so I will let them off .

thatsenough, huge sympathies.
Absolutely the same applies here - fighting, shouting, whinging, competing for my attention by any means possible, everything is such an effort - and I am SO up for a Mothers of Boys Support Group.

I have come to the conclusion that having 2 children is the ideal family size - shame it took me to 4 before I twigged .
2 hands for holding little hands/seperating pugilists/holding one whilst doing Something Else
2 thighs for sitting one DC on each
2 eyes to keep one on each DC
And so on and so forth.

What was I thinking wanting 4 DCs?? And being blessed with 4 boys (aged 8, 7, 3 and 16 months btw)... I blame my DH entirely

Have 3 mad boys also, ages 7, 8 and 12. The younger years, agree with the obvious lots of outdoor stuff, but dont agree that lots of expensive activities / clubs etc have to be organised, else you are setting yourself up for misery as they will expect this every holiday and worse, dont learn to entertain themselves! (seen many times with friends) Buckets of water and paintbrushes, and playdough outside, hoses and waterguns, dens, dens and more dens. One holiday the whole of the lounge was taken over with sheets and towels made into a den and stayed like it for a week. They ate every meal in it! Hate to say that mine still all fight, but its now mostly playfighting, but the older they get the more boisterious and the more injuries, however I am an old hat now, and leave them to it, generally they sort it out themselves, but when they are younger, you obviously have to intervene. The best investment we ever ever made was a 14 foot trampoline which takes up half the garden, but I would pay that a hundred times over, they are on it every day rain or shine so if you dont have one, definately worth a thought! Rain, they love it ! oh just read you do have a trampoline, take faith in that this will be used for years and years to come!! I would have liked a little girl at the time of no 3, but now nothing would change what I have, 3 lovable boisterious gorgeous lads and its soooo easy, boys are mostly straightforward, wear their hearts on their sleeves, no hidden emotional agendas and fall outs with friends, they just wrestle them! The hardest part is the noise which is lessening as time goes on. This probably tells you nothing more helpful than in previous posts, but just reassures you there are lots of us about, mother of boys, who have all been there, live to tell the tale and now get excited and look forward to the holidays. Oh and nothing beats boys cuddles!!!! and bubbles, I agree with bubbles !

Well peace reigns in our house this morning - DS1 and 2 are at holiday club, DS3 is napping and I should be working!

I love all the simple ideas to keep them entertained and will be searching for den making stuff later - I will just have to accept the mess (maybe wine will help!?).

As for the noise, my god it sounded like a football crowd in our house this morning - They were most surprised when I took control by turning everything off (including my radio) and seperated them until they were washed and dressed - it worked a treat.

Pacificdogwood - I quite agree with regard to more than 2 - What was I thinking? I remember a work colleague saying he had stuck at two as he only had two hands; I thought he was quite mad and said so - How wrong was I?Having said that there are no plans to send any back and if I had enough money I'd probably try and squeeze in another before my breakdown.

Better get back to work while I can!

Excellent; good stuff.

I've made mine walk for an hour this evening before supper; hoping they'll sleep!

I find on their own my boys are actually very reasonable individuals. Just somehow together, they seem to hype each other up beyond belief!

Oh, yes, I agree about calming down sometimes being as much of an effort as the actual physical activity.

Switching everything off: I do this rather often, particularly when DH is around all weekend. He is a gadget man and by the time there are 2 TVs on AND a Playstation AND a computer game AND screeching toddler competes for competition with howling baby.... aaaaaargh!!!

I was home from work 5 minutes earlier than DH and the boys tonight (he had done collection from CM) and it was Bliss. Quiet house. Nobody bloody wanted anything from me. I got changed into comfy stuff On My Own, even had a pee without company. Ahhhhh!
I was so totally up for it when they came home, we actually had a nice evening together.

And individually: Oh, yes, on their own each and every single one of mine is a gem, but apparently testosterone+testosterone=WW3 .

Is it honestly louder than three girls? I have three girls 9,5 and 3 and then a son 13 months.

My mantra is 'shush'.

I am quite looking forward to school returning to our lives again. Just to get back to a routine again (not to getting rid of two for 6 hours everyday again )

I am in Scotland so I just have a week and a half left.

Thanks for the den idea. I will get the girls to do that next week.

Sorry for gatecrashing. Just doing my nosey really, wanting to know if there really is much difference between 'crowds' of boy and 'crowds' of girls.

letsgetloud,you might feel right at home here

Not that you are not welcome here, of course

I generally hate generalisations, but...

Well things have not gone so well this afternoon - DS2 (4) threw an almighty temper tantrum over a biscuit that I said he couldn't have, so swimming is cancelled and he is screaming it out in his bedroom (DS1 is sulking as he can't go either).

For those of you with girls - I wasn't trying to say that boys are worse than girls, it's just that I have boys so that is what I know! Having said that all the girls I know are so much quieter than our three.

I suppose I'd better go and find something nice to do with DS1 - I imagine DS2 will be bawling for some time to come.

Sorry to hear you have not had such a nice afternoon, thatsenough, I hope the day improved thereafter.

The best advice a friend (mother of 2 boys) gave me once when I arrived in tears with fury at sustained impossible behaviour on the way to the toddler group was: "Don't mete out punishment that will punish yourself". As in 'If you don't behave/stop this, we'll go home' which is what I had just said. And she was right - I would have hated having to go home without some adult conversation, some coffee and several a slice of cake.

The above episode is some time ago, but I remember it often.
So, no cancelling of activities I enjoy, but time out, removal of priveleges, naughty step etc etc.

We had a Good Day. DH has been at home. We went to Glasgow Riverside Museum which is just recently newly openend and it was fab.
Both littlies asleep in the car when we arrived home . Result!!

Pacificdogwood - my DH said exactly the same when I phoned him this afternoon and you are absolutely right, however this time it was too late.

All was not lost though, he did get over it after about half an hour and played outside for a while, before all three helped out with cooking tea - DS1 throughly enjoyed serving tea to DH that he'd cooked himself! After tea we all snuggled up to watch a film with a bag of popcorn.

It sounds like you had a lovely day and reminds me that the Science Museum here was being refurbished and might be worth a visit.

3 boys here too but DS3 doesn't yet talk so things will only get worse... Agreed on the physical activities and importance of being outside. It's working well trying to get out by mid morning as they seem to accept doing something quieter once they have been tired out in the morning. Agreed about the trampoline being the best thing I ever bought. Agreed on having great wet weather gear for them and me - despite my usual lethargy I actually enjoyed a local 'family' day at the park with loads of great stuff going on and hardly any people making queues because they couldn't face the rain. A few externally organised ativities for DS1 have been essential, since, at 9, he is in more need of the company of his peers a couple of times a week. Am struggling with the endless making of food though - any quick lunch suggestions gratefully received - and if I have to make one more picnic I may cry...

I have one boy. He is gorgeous but I do find wearing him out first means a bit of peace later on

I also have a girl who is actually very loud and spirited!

But yes it is the physical presence of my boy. He wants to jump, climb and bang into me a lot.

It is so refreshing to read this thread! I have two boys aged 2.5 and 1.5. The eldest is gone off for the day today and the house is so quiet! They are angels alone but together, its a different story!!

I feel like i spend the day breaking up fights over toys. The other day I walked into playroom and ds1 was riding ds2 like a horse!

defo agree with them beng like dogs, they are much better when we have been out in the park for the morning.

Any advice on the bickering???

I have 3 boys! At the moment, they are driving me mental! They are 5, 3.5 and 19 months. It's hectic, it's VERY loud, I find it really hard not to shout at them. EVERYTHING is a battle, going out, comign back home, getting them to co-operate is nigh impossible unless for some very strange reason they are actually in a co-operative mood and then they are akin to angels. Unfortunately, this happens only very rarely.
Support group for parents to boys a great idea : )

Can I join? 3 boys here - 5 yesterday, 3 on Sunday and 16 months. Boy no. 4 due in 10 weeks. It's SO bloody noisy and I have no garden-I long for a trampoline. My days are utter chaos really - I could take a degree in disaster management I think. Saw family of 3 boys out today though and they looked about 12-8. I commented to dh how civilised it all looked - no shouting, crying and everyone was sitting on their bottoms and able to open their own juice cartons. Please tell me it does get better as they get older?

Girls: yabber yabber chat chat blah blah

Boys: RRAAAGGGHHHHH

I suspect the ONLY reason boys voices break is to prevent mass eardrum perforation within the human species.

I am from a family of girls but bred boys - it could not be more different! But I love that it is so different - not a great fan of homogenised gender!

No advice for you thatsenough, but loads of empathy

They're just so physical aren't they?

Remember talking to ds1 teacher after Christmas and she commented that children are difficult to settle after break because they have got used to being at home, sitting, watching TV etc.

I wish! Already broken up 2 fights, 3 arguments and ds3 20m has got shoes on and wants to go outside. Gaaah!!

As to advice on bickering...I have none, but would appreciate any that's given

[lurk] - I have 3 boys - 5, 2 and 12m and they are so.... feral [ jibber]