children expressing their feelings through drawings

[whymummy]

i thought i'll share this with you
back in feb. dd started nursery,2 afternoons a week, on her first day after dropping her off i decided to tell a little white lie at ds's school and take him away for the afternoon to spend some time with him alone(imposible otherwise because of dd)anyway we went for a walk and then sat down for a drink and just chatted away,he truly enjoyed having me all to himself,he's 5 by the way,last friday(8 months later) he did a drawing of everyone in his class and himself with one of them thinking bubbles above his head and two people sitting down inside the bubble i asked him who the 2 people were and he said it was him and mummy on our own having fun,i feel really bad about it but there's never a time where i can be with him alone as dd would go mental if i didn't take her,do any of you have any quality time with the older child? and how you do it,thanks

Doenst she go to bed before him? cant you have half an hour each night?

I get people to babysit just the one child, make sure they do something nice with them so they dont think there missing out. Then we go and have fun, i love having just the one you actually really enjoy having children then! Last time My Ds age 4 and i went to the cinema and out for a meal. It was better than any date. Other wise could she do a class every week, baby ballet or something. My Ds aged 2 goes for an hour in the evening leave us to pick a dvd and chocolate. Another good idea is letting the older one stay up for another hour while you do something special just for the two of you like making cookies.

coddy she's 3 and refuses to go to bed without her brother,you're very lucky to have 3 boys,she's a right little madam
forest very good idea, i will have to look at the ballet lessons or any other lessons she can attend i'll ask around tomorrow
thank you both for your replies

hi wm, I don't have practical experience of 2 kids, but at the week-end (and on holidays), you could also get dh to take dd somewhere for an hour and you do something with ds, and then you can reverse it. I think this will get more and more useful as they grow up and enjoy 'personal' attention from one parent at a time, when you'll be more relaxed! Good luck you soppy old thing

Put your foot down - i think conversely its noce for the eldest to be the big boy - there must be some perks to being grown up!

i am frenchgirl
the thing is he's never been jealous of dd or said anything about spending time with me,it was only through the drawing that i found out,i do have a neighbour(not the warthog coddy)a spanish girl that dd absolutely loves and she might look after her for an hour or so
thanks

Not got any advice but just to say that is so sweet! We have a bigger age gap so I get a bit of time with ds while dd is sleeping but that won't last forever.

Hope you get something worked out.

thanks eulalia

I've got 3 children (8,6 and 4) and I try desperately to get time with them on their own.

Usually with DD1 (8yo), we shop She loves shopping (girl after my own heart!!!), so we go shopping, stopping for lunch in a place of her choice.

With DS1 (6yo), its more difficult. Usually get some time with him when DD1 goes to friends houses - and I take him out for a while - usually we stroll up to the beach, so he can practise his "pebble skimming".

DD2 (4yo) is at nursery part-time and will go to school in Sept. Thursdays are hers (and mine!) day off, so we tend to potter about here in the morning, then we go out for lunch together

Oh whymummy I know exactly how you feel, my DS loves having some special time just for himself and it is difficult because I've got a DD who can be a right madam about demanding time and attention . I've recently put my foot down with her and insisted that she goes to bed earlier so he gets just half an hour every night where it's just for him, and fortunately she still has a daytime nap so I can give him some time then too occasionally. I also make a point at weekends of spending time with him just on his own leaving DH at home with DD. Although she does shriek as me and DS leave the house I know it's anger and frustration and she always calms down within about 2 minutes of us going. then me and DS can go for a swim, or to the pictures or for a McDonalds or even just to the park ot a bike ride. Much sypathy and HTH

WMxx

sympathy I mean

(note to self must preview more.....)

that sounds great slinky,i bet they love it
who do you leave the smaller ones with when you take dd1 out?and don't they mind?

Whymummy I read this and couldn't resist! I just melt away with this too, it is hard to put your foot down! We are just pleasers, aren't we? It sounds like a great idea to get your friend to stay with your DD if she loves her. There is all of this fairness stuff that kids can say that breaks my heart. I do tellthem that things are not always fair, but I try to make them equitable! If I go out with one of them, we will usually just spend a few minutes at the end of our journey picking out a little "gift" for the one that stayed home, etc. and that seems to help a bit. The stages that they are in now are all so temporary, but the life lessons are not. I have found that my babes have really suffered some heartbreak from their friends as I had not made them weather it with me. So hard to know what to do....all the best whymummy!

Whymummy

Usually leave the others with DH - and no, they don't mind at all - DH is well known as being a pushover, so usually we get home to be told that they've had sweets/chocolate etc etc

Also, DH is often not around during the week due to work, and DH does take the other 2 out to the park/play centre etc.

thanks wedgiesmum,i might have to do that as well and send her to bed earlier(i know she'll scream the place down),she won't even let me do ds's homework with him,she's not jealous in a nasty way but she'll be all over me and make it impossible for ds to concentrate,girls hey?

that's a big problem with us slinky,dh is hardly home and even works weekends so any time at home ds wants to spend it with him,also dd is a mummy's girl and even follows me to the toilet,i might have to clone myself

Screaming and kicking feature very heavily in DD's approach at present, oh and sobbing like her heart is breaking, followed by big smiles and NO SIGN OF SODDING TEARS as soon as she gets her own way - tch! Honestly I don't know where she gets it from........

LOL wedgiesmum,how old is she?

She's 2 and a half but claims she is 4. And DS is 4 and a half and she says that he is 7. But apparently that makes me 14 and Daddy 99 so I think I come out well from that

hi sunchowder i don't know how i missed your post,pc really slow tonight,thanks for your message,the buying the other a small treat sounds like a good idea,i will try that too,thanks again

wedgiesmum,the terrible 2's never end with girls,they just carry on till they leave home

Noooooooooooooooooooo!

My two say that they're never leaving home, they're going to marry each other and live with me for ever. Don't quite know where DH is going to be, though obviously as he is 99 he won't last that long.......

Had another idea - sometimes in the morning I go in to wake up DS 10 minutes early for what he calls a 'snug' - I stand at the side of his bed and cuddle him until he wakes up properly (he's got a cabin bed so is at standing cuddle height). That is a really special thing for him (me too actually) and he usually gets really affectionate about it, the other morning he whispered 'I love you Mummy and I want to keep you always' - brought tears to my eyes I can tell you

I got you are a butterfly face, mummy and i love you very very very..........much

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!boys are lovely,ds went to a friend's house today and dd started crying,he started crying as well and telling her that he wouldn't be long and that he'll miss her,bless!!

oh forest,how cute