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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 year old boy likes pink and wants to paint nails!!

34 replies

luckylucky · 21/07/2011 11:19

My 3 year old tends to like the colour pink over any other colours. Recently he has asked me on 2 occassions if i could paint his nails. I said no and told him only girls use them. I'm not sure if i have said the right thing! He does love buzz lightyear and playing with cars and dinosaurs as well. Would love to hear from others whose little boys also like girly things and what reactions/ways you dealt with it. Thanks.

OP posts:

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midnightexpress · 21/07/2011 11:22

Perfectly normal behaviour - why shouldn't he like pink? It's just a colour. ds2 was thrilled when the nursery ladies painted his nails and he is always colouring them in with a felt-tip pen. We're off to a wedding this weekend and ds1 (5) has carefully picked out his favourite shirt - pink and blue checks. It looks fabulous.
Seriously, don't worry about it - it's no big deal.

MinnieBar · 21/07/2011 11:26

Yes, why not let him? DS (4.9) came home from school saying 'pink is just for girls' and I told him no, there's no such thing as a colour just for boys or girls.

Stop the gender stereotyping early!

What exactly are you worried about??

moaningminniewhingesagain · 21/07/2011 11:26

DS often tries to put my blusher on. He's 2.5yo.

If he asked for painted nails, I would probably do it as something for fun. I haven't got nail polish in the house though because I CBA with it

My little brother was often dressed up with make up and nail varnish by me and my sister, he's 12 years younger and was like a dolly for us to play with - he survived unscathed

allhailtheaubergine · 21/07/2011 11:28

Totally normal.

Don't worry about it :)

Mine is the same and I don't really "deal with it". I let my daughter play with cars and aeroplanes too !

Ephiny · 21/07/2011 11:29

Personally I don't really like nail painting or makeup for young kids, so would probably have said 'no, that's just for grownups' or something, rather than 'for girls'.

Don't see any problem with liking pink though, it's just a colour and there is no law that only girls can like/wear it! Really struggling to see what the problem is here, and what exactly you're worried about.

nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 21/07/2011 11:34

DS2 loved pink until he was about 6 or 7 (his favourite colour is now orange) Nothing wrong with that, and nothing wrong with the nail varnish either, unless you don't like it on young children altogether. Both DS1 and DS2 had a toy buggy to push around (copying me and DH!) and DS2 also loved Barbies and My Little Ponies (vile things that they are) Nothing to 'deal with', it's just what they liked

AmaraDresden · 21/07/2011 11:34

My DS2 loves pink as well, he's 4, if he wanted his nails painting I'd do it, he likes to pick my nail polish out for me but has never wanted his own doing.

AmaraDresden · 21/07/2011 11:34

My DS2 loves pink as well, he's 4, if he wanted his nails painting I'd do it, he likes to pick my nail polish out for me but has never wanted his own doing.

shelley72 · 21/07/2011 11:36

he sounds just like my 3 year old DS - also loves buzz and dinosaurs. but loves pink, likes dressing up in my shoes and necklaces. carries around my handbags and i (lightly) paint his nails if he asks when im doing mine. all perfectly harmless i think, me (or DH for that matter) dont think its a problem!

FreakoidOrganisoid · 21/07/2011 11:36

DS' favourite colour is pink. always has been.
When he was 2 he spent a couple of months only wanting to wear dresses/skirts. I let him.
He often has his toenails painted. We went to a wedding on Saturday and he and dd both asked to wear make up so I pretended to put blusher and eyeshadow on them (didn't put anything on the brush).

He knows he is a boy, he mostly wears boys clothes, he plays with trains and cars and lego. So what if he also likes to dress up as cinderella sometimes? I wouldn't dream of stopping dd from wearing blue or trousers or playing with cars so why would it bother me the other way round?

Blindcavesalamander · 21/07/2011 11:46

Why do you think gender steryotyping is so important to work hard at and stick to the rules of? Do you have a sneaking suspicion that if we don't keep to those rules with our children they will lose their gender identity and it's all learned behaviour? If you think gender differences are natural, then relax, you don't have to worry about it. If you think it's a rule of society and nothing more, then I suggest you question it and put your child's individual likes and dislikes before unimportant social norms. I also think that if it was a sign that your son is going to grow up with gender dysmorphia

medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Gender+identity+disorder+in+children

which is extremely unlikely, then not letting him express his traditionallly 'femenine' tastes would only cause him feelings of rejection and unhappiness. The urge would be irresistibly strong and he would need your love and support.

Therefore I think that however lightly or seriously you take this, and it's probably nothing more than simply liking these things (he's very little and undeveloped psychologically) and whichever way you look at it, the best thing to do is go with the flow.

AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome · 21/07/2011 11:51

DS 2 (4yrs) isn't that bothered about specific colours but loves Dora the explorer and Lola (of Charlie and...) so has had pink wellies, socks and girls pyjama's etc.

I can't bear gender stereotyping and I couldn't give a toss if my boy is gay/transgender/transsexual/transvestite, whatever. Not that I think boys wanting to wear pink or liking 'girls' things is particularly an indicator of any of those things but I think that is often the unspoken fear and actually allowing or preventing them doing these things will neither make them gay etc or stop them being so.

Just let him get on with it.

WowOoo · 21/07/2011 11:54

When ds1 was younger he desperately wanted a pair of Lelli Kellys (not sure of spelling). I said they were a rip off, so no.
He also wanted to try nail polish, but I told him you have to be 15 until you're allowed to wear it. He wanted a dark brown colour so I put a little on his toes. Bless.

angel1976 · 21/07/2011 12:08

My 3.5 DS1's favourite colour is pink and we really encouraged it! Why not? Like others say, it's just a colour. Also, he gets his nails painted when he goes on play dates with his (usually) girl friends and it's cute. He's normally a really boisterous boy boy and I think it's kinda sweet he has got a 'softer' side... Also, we have DS2 and it makes separating out their things easier i.e. DS1 gets the pink toothbrush and DS2 gets the blue one!

nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SomekindofSpanish · 21/07/2011 12:26

All 3 DSs (now 9,6 & 4) went through this stage - they were fine and as far as I know, have not caught 'The Gay' .

My favourite colour has always been blue, and I still very much like handbags, nail polish and shoes

Greedygirl · 21/07/2011 21:10

My DS (3.8) has loved pink forever and recently enjoyed having his nails painted and showing them off in his sandals to all and sundry. I was worried that he might get teased but actually he was perfectly capable of sticking up for himself - when an older girl told him that pink was a girls colour he said "actually it is a boys colour" and flounced off on his pink motorbike! He is now showing signs of conforming to gender stereotypes and I feel sad that "they" have got to him. So don't worry - I was worried about people's reactions to nail varnish but everyone was very positive and had lots of tales of their sons/brothers/grandchildren doing the same.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 21/07/2011 21:41

DS1' favourite colour is pink, and has been for ages. He is 5.5. IMO, it's not something that needs to be 'handled' - it's just a colour. Last summer, he had pink sandals. Now that he's started school, he's become aware that certain things are [seen as being] 'for' girls or boys only, and it really bugs me that he might feel constrained by that into choosing a new, more appropriate favourite colour. However, he still wants his bedroom walls painted pink when we redecorate this summer, so he's obviously not yet feeling too worried about it .

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 21/07/2011 21:48

For my DS1's 4th birthday he wanted a makeup set. He got one:)

Fast forward 14 years and he's out on the pull tonight, honks of aftershave but not a pink toenail in sight ....

he also had dolls, a pram.. swords... cars ..as did his sisters. Relax :)

Nagini · 21/07/2011 21:53

I paint DS's nails sparkly glitter if he asks me.

I would never say to a child that they couldn't do or like something as it was for the other gender

why would you say that?

kickingking · 21/07/2011 21:59

I would deal with it by agreeing with him that pink is lovely colour, and painting his toenails for him

My four year old boy loves Octonauts, planes, trains, baby dolls, cute animals like kittens and bunnies, and has occasionally tried on my lip gloss and had his toenails painted - at his request.

He likes pink because, as he says, "I don't have a favourite colour, I like all the colours!" Long may it remain so.

If he's gay, he's gay and no amount of 'girl toys' or 'boys toys' will change that, is my opinion.

wasabipeanut · 21/07/2011 22:07

My nearly 4 yo DS has lovely red painted toe nails at the moment. He rifles in my nail varnish bag and presents me with his colour of choice. I don't mind at all. Why would I? He's not even 4. He just wants to do what he's seen me doing.

The idea (that more than one person has stated to me in RL) that sexuality can be influenced by the application of cosmetics is laughable at best.

uberalice · 21/07/2011 22:11

I'd rather refuse a boy makeup by telling him it's for adults. Refusing on the grounds that it's for girls/women just seems wrong.

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