Feeling lost with an unhappy newborn

[BungleBonce]

I am here because I am utterly lost. After a traumatic arrival (failed induction two weeks early because she was transverse, emergency caesarean and cardiac arrest), our five-week-old little girl is struggling to put on weight. She was 6lb, 1oz and is still under 7lb. I am desperate to breastfeed but have been told by my GP and a lone helpful nurse to try topping up with formula.

But she refuses both bottle and breast, screams all day even when held, and feeds so slowly I am sometimes tied to the sofa for 12 hours. She wakes herself from sleep regularly with sharp cries. Neither of us can sleep. I am getting maybe 4 hours per day. I am exhausted.

My health visitor will not visit, my midwives discharged me despite my tearful protestations that all is not well, and my GP is well meaning but just sends me away with advice to get her weighed regularly.

My husband is doing the meals and housework but he is also back at work, and I have no family or friends to help out. I miss meals because I am trying to comfort her and the house is a mess. I barely get out because I am terrified of not being able to feed her should she need it. I cannot feed her outside because she is so slow. I think she takes in too much air, which gives her pain, but she cannot get it out despite all our efforts. She also holds in her No. 2s until the end of the day, which seems to give her pain. That?s the only routine she has.

She is so unhappy and no one will help. No one will tell me how to administer top ups (what formula, how much, when, what technique) and I am being made to feel like a failure as a human being for not being able to produce enough milk. I would love to exclusively breastfeed but she was getting dangerously small. Even with the top ups she is still screaming and uncomfortable and not sleeping.

We cannot afford private healthcare but the NHS does not want to know about us.

We do not want our old lives back. We do not want a routine. We just want our baby to feed, put on weight and just look content once in a while. We have never been as tired or as unhappy and we are both tearfully ashamed at our dark our thoughts toward her are.

What can I do? Can anyone help?

it does get easier i promise. the crying will ease and your baby will get more comfortable.

try ordering a wilkinet baby sling off ebay. it's will cost three or four pounds second hand but was fab for my small babies. carrying her will help a lot.

just read your last post. hope things continue to improve and that you can enjoy your little star now things are improving. it must have been so stressful for you

Bunglebonce - sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. I've been lucky with the feeding, but we're dealing with other issues (not sleeping in day leading to constant overtired screaming), Where in London are you? I am in west London, and if you would like just a supportive ear (if you can hear me over our screaming newborns!) I would be happy to try to meet you/come round.

Hello everyone. I'm slightly embarrassed to have left it so long before updating you all, but we were out of the country for two months and things have been hectic to say the least. In short, shortly before our last hospital appointment, a friend told us about Losec Mups - a solid form of omeprazole. Our little girl point-blank refused to take the liquid because of the taste, but our specialist had never heard of the mups. We were able to convince them to let our GP prescribe it and the transformation in all our lives was instant. Looking back, it's hard to credit or exaggerate the turnaround. Suddenly, we went from having a distraught, skinny, upset, poorly baby to a bubbly, chatty, plump, smiley little girl. After a few weeks, she began sleeping better and over the last month or so - after two months on steadily increasing doses - has now regulated herself to four 180ml feeds (of prescription formula) a day and sleeps almost uninterrupted from 7pm-5am. We never thought we'd reach this stage, but here we are and it's wonderful. Thank you so much everyone who offered support and even practical help. I can never tell you how much it meant to know I wasn't alone.