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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD2 is tiny, feeling a bit sad for her, tell me some stuff to cheer me up

57 replies

jassinkernow · 04/07/2011 14:39

DD2 is 2.9mths and 81cm tall. This puts her quite a bit below the 0.4th centile in her red book (she was just below at her 2yr check). I'm on the small side, as are my other 2 children, but based on this she's really little. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but I also know it's not much fun being the smallest in your class. She's a pretty rubbish eater at the moment - grounds for hope when she improves, do you think?

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Evenstar · 04/07/2011 22:45

I work at a pre-school and currently have a really little keyworker child, she looks like a baby and the big girls adore her and mother her a lot. I honestly think she benefits from being small, she is a bit clingy, but being small means we all pick her up and give her cuddles when she wants them! Her mum is also petite and is a really lovely person and very attractive so I can't see a downside! As for the small shoes I have cousins who take tiny sizes even as adults and they can buy lots of lovely things in the sales.

NumptyMum · 04/07/2011 22:49

It's just occurred to me that one of my friends is very small - never even thought about it until I read the above post! I think her only disadvantages have been finding clothes she likes and occasionally getting ID'd when going out for drinks or buying alcohol - but now that she's in her 40s she doesn't really mind that...

NumptyMum · 04/07/2011 22:50

And she avoids having to pay VAT on her clothes/shoes!

cory · 04/07/2011 23:08

Db was the smallest boy in his class throughout junior school. By the end of secondary he was close to 6 feet tall and broad shouldered to match.

Baffledandbewildered · 04/07/2011 23:34

My daughter is tiny we found it hard to get baby clothes then school uniform small enough for her when she started school. She has gone on to be head girl of her school and is at uni.....still tiny and get Id'd everywhere but she is happy and confident

mindmycoffee · 05/07/2011 00:53

'little dude' is also good

RantyMcRantpants · 05/07/2011 10:47

All three of my DS's were born small and were tiny until they got to the end of reception. Ds1 started growing and hasn't stopped and is now the tallest boy in his year 4 class. DS2 went into reception age 5 in age 3 trousers. He is now nearly 6 and wearing age 5 trousers and is the same height as his peers, he has literatly shot up in the last few months. DS3 starts reception in September, has just turned four but looks two to three and he has the biggest personality you could imagine.

I am four foot ten and their Dad is five foot six, but we have tall and short people in the family so anything could happen.

tryingtoleave · 05/07/2011 11:08

There was a tiny girl in ds's preschool, but she had a big personality ( I don't usually take to other people's children, but I always liked chatting to her) and she more than held her own among the other girls.

pippop1 · 05/07/2011 11:23

Do you have a measurement for when she was exactly two years old? I was told that if you measure a 2 year old child that is half their final height. My DS2 was measured at two and we were told that he would be 5ft 4 ins and to take him to see a consultant. We did and he measured us (his parents) and said that the HV had measured him incorrectly and that he would be 5ft 6ins. This has proved to be correct (he's almost 20 now) and he is the same height as his Dad. DS1 was measured at two as well and predicted to be 5ft 8 ins. Also true. I am slightly under 5ft and his Dad is 5ft 6ins so the poor DSs had no chance of being tall!

MMQC · 05/07/2011 11:23

I had a call from the school nurse the other week about my daughter, who has just hit five and is on the 0.4th centile. She's the smallest in school by quite some way, but has been adopted as a kind of mascot! And looking at the reception children coming up next year, she'll still be the smallest next year in year 1.

I get the 'isn't she tiny/dinky/cute' comments all the time, but what she lacks in stature, she makes up for in confidence and volume (and bolshiness). And realistically, there's nothing anyone can do to make her any taller! Racks are kind of frowned upon these days.

At the risk of sounding trite and clicheed, as long as they're healthy and happy, does it matter?

GooseyLoosey · 05/07/2011 11:30

I am tall. I spent my youth envying the really petite small women and wishing I was one of them. Every time a bloke chatted me up, his face fell when I stood up and was taller than him. I can't tell you how good being small looked from my perspective!

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil · 05/07/2011 11:31

DS is 6 and tall for his age. We find that people expect him to behave like an 8 year old as he is the size of one but unfortunately as he has dyspraxia and suspected ASD, he often behaves like a 4-5 year old. We wouldn't have these problems if he was small :)

MMQC - I agree that happy and healthy is the way to go. I hated being the tall girl at school and always hankered after being the cute petit one. Everyone has caught up with me now as am only 5 foot 7.

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil · 05/07/2011 11:31

Ditto GooseyLoosey

drivingmisscrazy · 05/07/2011 11:38

I agree with the happy and healthy bit too; also as my mum (5'1) always says, it's much better being small when you are old: much less further to fall...

to go back to the small man thing - my dad was 5'6, my beloved grandad 5'2 (and about the same around the middle!), my uncle about 5'1. My uncle was one of the physically strongest men I have ever met. I think it only matters if you think it matters

MogTheForgetfulCat · 05/07/2011 13:01

Ha, quite like 'Pocket Hercules'! Arf. Apologies for being prickly about it, am just feeling sensitive about it as I have been saying to myself for aaaages now, 'Oh, DS2 is going to shoot up, like DS1 did. Any minute now...OK, now then...Maybe now?' And nada. He is so wee. DS1 is quite tall with long legs, most of my and DH's family are average height to tall, apart from DH's dad, who was v small.

Am just worried that DS2 will be stricken with 'small man syndrome' to add to his 'middle child syndrome', and will be chippy about being surrounded by his much bigger brothers (DS3 currently a whopper, at 4.5 months). Sigh. But must not obsess about it and will be focusing on giving positive messages. He certainly doesn't let it hold him back - is fearless to the point of insanity.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 05/07/2011 13:04

And have had indirect experience, as others have mentioned, of a child having unrealistic expectations put on them because they are much bigger than average - my nephew was (and still is) v tall for his age, and people clearly often thought he was older and should therefore be behaving differently. V unfair. But he's 8 now and can set them straight .

DronesClub · 05/07/2011 13:11

The other week at at DS's school (age 5) they made "flowers" by using string to measure how tall they were up against a wall and then making flower petals to go on top. DS was distraught at how small he was compared to the other boys and even now is continually comparing himself to them. Luckily we've just started a Star Wars phase so I just remind him that Yoda is the best jedi even tough he is small, because he is wise and the force is strong in him - cheers him up every time!

drivingmisscrazy · 05/07/2011 14:06

it is tough, isn't it, given that social norms are such powerful things. I was firmly put in my place about this when mentioning DD's small stature to a neighbour - her friend officially has the smallest children in the country - they have a growth problem. So as long as our children are healthy, they are just on the small end of normal.

Mog he probably just has a different growth pattern to the others: and he's special because he is different. I always think of the African distance runners - few of them are over 5'6, but they can run 26 miles at cracking paces. There are lots of sports where weight to strength ratio is important, or speed and flexibility are more important than bulk (martial arts, gymnastics).

Your namesake book is DD's absolute favourite at the moment (she is parading around the house wearing one of my finisher's medals, 'like Mog')

MogTheForgetfulCat · 05/07/2011 21:37

You're right - in the grand scheme of things, this is emphatically not something to worry about. And I need to make sure not to allow DS2 to pick up on any of my anxiety and stereotyping (including my reference to 'small man syndrome' - should know better...)

I took this username because it was DS1's favourite book for ages, too

MogTheForgetfulCat · 05/07/2011 21:40

I will have to remember the Yoda connection. DS1 has just discovered Star Wars, which means DS2 is also discovering it as he worships DS1, so i can use that with DS2 if he becomes aware of his smallness. Might be useful if I can get him to realise that he's a Jedi called Yoda, rather than a Jedi who is an ogre, though .

NerfHerder · 06/07/2011 16:57

Thanks for this thread! I struggle sometimes as DS is small- still in 12-18 trousers at 2.5, I gave up measuring his height as it just upset me; he is in proportion and a healthy little boy.

I think he will find it hard, particularly as his older sister (5) is far above average height, 2nd only to her classmate who is the size of an average 8yo. I am tiny though (5'0") and 3 of my GPs were

FSB · 06/07/2011 23:29

I love this thread..! My DD is just about to turn 2 and is on the 3rd centile, and in some 9-12m clothes and some 12-18m (but v baggy) with 4.5 shoes. But she's very vocal compared to her friends and the combo of the two does mean she is often the centre of attention (she really hates being treated like a baby/doll by the other girls in her nursery class though).

The weird thing is, my brother and I were at the other end of the scale and were the kids who people assumed were several years older, we ended up 6'7 and 5'10 respectively, so i wasn't expecting my little one to be so little (although the women in dh's family are all around 5'4).

I don't see it being a big hinderance to her going forward, my best friend at school was 4'10 and had way more balls than I did!!! And it's really helpful that she just doesn't seem to grow out of clothes, especially summer items!
;)

PrettyMeerkat · 07/07/2011 08:50

Mines below the bottom centile. It doesn't bother me at all now (she's now 5) as she is perfectly healthy and fine at school.

I was the smallest at school and didn't like it that much but that may have been because I wasn't that confident rather then due to my actual size.

Original poster

jassinkernow · 07/07/2011 10:54

Good (in some ways) to know that we're not alone! I do realise that there are far worse things to be than small, and I've (mostly) felt lucky that I'm small rather than very tall, but I think you just want your children not to have anything that might put them at a disadvantage with their peers. I think you're all right, though, that personality is the thing to focus on, and she has that in spades! It's encouraging that those of you with school age children don't think it bothers them much though.

OP posts:

drivingmisscrazy · 07/07/2011 11:09

I suspect DD has fallen off the centiles for height at this point...but she is growing. And she is fine.

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