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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Tips needed please - How do I tell a 10 month old..........

45 replies

mumfor1sttime · 15/11/2005 16:14

DS is now crawling and youve guessed it - he touches everything, how do I tell him to not touch things?
Today he kept touching dvd recorder and I said 'no', he obviously kept touching it, and I had to say 'no' about twenty times, he was laughing at me thinking I was playing a game!
I want to keep him safe and for him to learn the word 'no'. I feel such a meany.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

monstersmummy · 15/11/2005 16:16

i say no and move my ds2 away...he gets distracted by something else then....they don't really understand and at this age memory isn;t fantastic so its just repetition!

WigWamBam · 15/11/2005 16:17

The only thing you can do is keep saying "no" and physically remove him from it (and yes, you'll be doing it over and over again). Don't laugh or smile when you say it, and use a stern voice so show that it's not a game.

Bellie · 15/11/2005 16:18

Unfortunately you will probably sound like a meany if you want to go down the no route. My dd picked it up in time and now understands no - but I decided not to say no to everything - so somethings that I thought would be no before I had dd have turned into ok with some supervision. I save no for the important things - e.g fire, eating shoes and dirt! That way I am not saying no all the time.

We got a cabinet for the dvd........

Original poster

mumfor1sttime · 15/11/2005 16:18

Thanks, I have had to move him a minute ago as he has an obsession with dvd player! Have got his v tech toy out now,so it might distact him.
Just wanted to know how other people say 'no', I feel such an ameteur.

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 15/11/2005 16:24

No is not enough at this age. You have to distract him with something else and/or physically turn him away from the thing you don't want touched. You will get very fed up of this and you might like to consider putting things away that you don't want touched or putting them up high or putting them in a cabinet or behind a screen. But I have to say that if your ds is anything like my children, he will get round so called baby guards.

Kelly1978 · 15/11/2005 16:24

ooh, my 7mnth dts are jsut the same. They are obssessed with the dvd player and the ps2. Dt1 likes to open and close the drawer and dt2 likes to fiddle with the flaps. dt1 also likes to crawl through the coffee table. I must be a terrible mum I'm always yelling no at them! dt1 seems to understand, but dt2 doesnt care and carries right on with it!

MeAndMyBoy · 15/11/2005 16:26

We didn't use No cause I knew I'd get fed up with the sound of my own voice so used stop instead. Seemed to work fine. Think you just have to stick to what ever you decide and be consistant and they learn. We haven't moved everything out of DS way and the only accidents have been other peoples older children playing with stuff they shouldn't.

H x

fennel · 15/11/2005 16:26

i just put anything out of range. easier (for me) than saying no 1000 times. video recorder lives in a cupboard that toddlers can't open. CDs etc are high up on shelves.

on my 3rd toddler now, house is so toddler proof there's nothing really she can touch at all except toys and sometimes the tupperware cupboard if i'm feeling generous). it makes for an easier life.

handlemecarefully · 15/11/2005 16:27

I'm with fennel

Papillon · 15/11/2005 16:32

I think "no" is an almost useless discplinary word if used repeatedly or just by itself. Getting used to explaining thing as a parent has long term benefits.

Tell him it is not for touching and/or remove offending object if possible.

Original poster

mumfor1sttime · 15/11/2005 16:38

I hate the word 'no' too. It gets to me listening to my voice! Good idea about changing the word to something else.
I dont like the idea of moving things. The only thing I have moved are my bleach/detergents etc and my 3 foot high cactus!

OP posts:

Papillon · 15/11/2005 16:43

Alot of our furniture is 70´s style and low to ground.
dd might not be as inquistive of electronic equipment as ds are- but I feel because it is accessible it is not so much a temptation to touch or damage.

He will probably become bored quicker of the dvd recorder if you just let him touch it while you are present. Short attention span and all that!

homemama · 15/11/2005 19:08

My Ds is completely in love with the TV and sky box. He likes to press the on/off button over and over. After 6mths of saying no and wagging my finger and shaking my head I've given up as now at 12mths he thinks its funny to wag his finger back and shout 'nah' at the top of his voice. Clearly a new tactic is called for!

Original poster

mumfor1sttime · 15/11/2005 19:43

homemama, that story made me !

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Original poster

mumfor1sttime · 15/11/2005 19:45

Papillon, never thought of it like that.

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Saker · 15/11/2005 22:47

I am very much in favour of the move the things you don't want them to touch approach and then let them explore. A 10 month old is not going to understand why they can't touch the dvd player but they can touch the coffee table and I think it just gives confusing messages if you are stopping them all the time. Childproof the house then you can relax and they can explore. Encourage them away from things that are not suitable by providing alternatives like a cupboard they can go through. I used to fill a bag with various household objects like keys, spoon, ball etc and leave it lying in the middle of the sitting room. Because it looked like it was my bag then Ds1 was always drawn to emptying it out and exploring the contents.

Aero · 15/11/2005 22:50

If it can't be put out of reach, then distraction, distraction, distraction. The only way I tink at his stage. They get the mesage..........eventually. [

Aero · 15/11/2005 22:53

ps - ds2's favourite toy atm is the dvd player - he's 22 mths. However, it is purely because (I'm convinced of this), he is trying to work out how to make his Thomas the Tank Engine video (which he recently aquired) work. He already knows how to turn the TV on/off etc.

aloha · 15/11/2005 22:57

I don't tell dd, I just move her away and distract her.

aloha · 15/11/2005 22:58

And agree with Saker. If you don't want it touched, move it out of reach or at least sight.
It's not their fault that it fascinates them.

sazhig · 15/11/2005 23:06

ds figured out how to turn the tv on pretty much a soon as he was able to pull himself up & was strong enough to press the button. He very quickly went on to discover that the dvd drawer opened if he pressed the big button then one of the smaller buttons, plus he liked the way the video recorder beeped when he turned it on & off! Our solution - not watching videos & dvds when he was awake & unplugging the machines so they didn't do anything interesting. He soon got bored & started playing with his own toys again!

Have to say though that he is very useful when I am too lazy to turn the tv on!

Blu · 15/11/2005 23:26

I think it is completely pointless to tell small crawlers / toddlers 'no'. Their whole stage of development is about not being deterred. If they were 'contained' by a refusal or a setback, they would never learn to walk! they would be deterred the first time they fell over. So I believe that their 'deterrable' button is switched well and truly off until much later. Distract and keep out of reach.

bobbybob · 16/11/2005 01:27

Put a tea towel over the DVD player. A 10 month old doesn't have the capacity to learn what "no" means, especially when just spoken.

I said "not for Bob" and moved him away. If he went back to it I covered it or moved it or bought a cabinet for it.

The moving him away thing is really important. After all he is doing heaps of things (crawling, babbling, touching the DVD player, having a wee), even if he understands the word "no", how is he supposed to know what you are saying no to?

We still have the footstool in front of the TV, which detered ds when he was little. Now he could move it, but because it's been off limits for so long he doesn't bother.

Kelly1978 · 16/11/2005 10:37

I'm surprised at all the mums who don't say no to their children. They can learn it early on, as my dt1 understands it at 7 months and dd also learned it early too. Dt2 and ds are another matter, but ds did learn it eventually. It is harder work to begin with but it pays off in the long run.

It's all very well moving everything out of reach, but the house is for adults too! I refuse to turn my entire house into a nursery. I say no, and distract if I don't get a response, and I have never had to move things. By the time they reach about 18 months they've learned they can't have everything they set their beady little eyes on! It really annoys me when friends come round with older toddlers who still have no concept of adults things not to be touched and immediately attack the dvd shelves or ornaments, etc.

The babies have plenty of toys and things to explore and play with. They don't need to stick their grubby fingers in my dvd player as part of their development.

highlander · 16/11/2005 11:28

Kelly, that's all very well and I do understand your reluctance to try and maintain an adult space, as opposed to turning your home into a nursery. However, it is well documented that children who are restricted with no explanation or self-discovery ('learning from their mistakes') are less able to judge dangerous situations for themsleves as they get older.

I only have one examle at the moment as DS is only 14mo. I like having him in the kitchen but it's obviously hazardous when the oven is on (it's low to the ground). rather than say 'NO' when he's near it, I've let him touch it as it's been warming up, but before it's too hot. I simply said 'Hot Hot Hot!' a few times and he clearly found it unpleasant. I also said the same thing when he touches the radiators. Now, if he gives me his 'I'm going to the oven vibes', I can simply say 'Hot Hot Hot!' and he immediately backs off. I guess that's an easy example - persuading him to draw on paper instaed of the carpet or walls is proving more tricky!!

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