Early riser 11 month old - tips please

[Krainy]

My 11 mo son goes to bed at 7 and wakes at 5.50. I would love to get more sleep in the morning, any ideas?

He has 30 minute nap 9.15 - 9.45 ( I wake him) and then a lunchtime nap usually 1 - 2 ( he wakes himself). However he does have an older sister so this varies to fit in with school run etc when it is not holidays.

Do you think he needs a later bed time? He has a blacked out room and eats for England in the day. We recently went on holiday to Wales and he slept really well but I cannot work out why, as our home is just as quiet. Thank you for any advice.

[SharkSkinThing]

4am. 4 fucking am.

Horrible row with DP AGAIN before he left for work. He always seems to get the upper hand and makes me feel that I am being unreasonable. Went out for a walk and a cry along the beach at 8am - DS fell asleep at 8.30am. Still asleep now. I am staring at the wall, wondering if I could cope if DP and I split up.

Love the suggestion of pushing through the morning nap but there is no way he can do that if he's waking at 4 or 4.30am. Nor me for that matter. Surely of he's not ready for a nap until 4 hours after waking and only has 30 mins it's not an extension of the night time sleep?

But pleased for you, MissHonkover!!! xx

[MissHonkover]

Oh, poor shark, that's awful. We live on the coast too and yesterday morning DP was pushing DD on the beach at 8am, if that's any consolation.
Deffo, pushing through the morning nap is only possible for us if DD goes back to sleep til 6.30 ish.

At work at the mo, will check on you later.

[SharkSkinThing]

Right. Had a brilliant talk with my HV this afternoon at the Baby Clinic, and she has given me some fab advice. She's the same HV who helped me get DS off night feeds, and everything she says made perfect - and achievable - sense.

Here it is in a nutshell, should anyone ever need it, though of course, it may take a few days to put into practice! We were doing some of this already, but weren't really following through, and thus were doomed to go on making the same mistake every day...

1. If all other factors have been removed (daylight, nappy, noises etc), then DS has got himself stuck in a loop of waking up at this time, and it is essential that we (well, me, I'm going to tackle it), break the habit, and not reward it by getting him up, even if it is just to play quietly/give him some milk. These are all indicators to him that it's time to get up.
   

1. Chose a time that as a family you are happy to get up. We're going with 6am.
   

1. When he wakes tomorrow, leave him for as long as possible, until he's as cross as you are happy for him to be. Go in, change him if he's pooed, then back out again.
   

1. Go in and out to reassure (verbally, dummy in if needs be, but no picking up etc) as many times as you have to until (a) he falls asleep or (b) it's 6am.
   

1. Go in, open blinds, get him up, give him his milk.
   

1. Repeat each morning until he finally gets himself out of the loop.
   

I had thought it was a poo issue, but she thinks he just has a poo at that time because it's when he wakes up now - if he starts waking at 6am, he'll poo at 7am. Apparently by the age of one they don't really poo in the night they way that little babies do. I never knew that.

I had a massive chat with DP when he got home - basically said that I am in charge of this for a week, if no result, we'll both meet with the HV and he can lead on the next solution. But it won't come to that. I will be victorious!!

I will keep posting and let you know how we get on.

Good luck to everyone else tonight. xx

[RalphGnu]

Oh ladies, I'm so grateful I found this thread. My 18 month old DS has been getting up at 5:30am at the very latest for the last fortnight and I'm on my last nerve. Spent most of today crying through exhaustion (I worked 11-10pm yesterday) and slumped on the sofa with no energy to play with DS and feeling really resentful towards him. DP mowed the lawn yesterday so I'm going to try the playtime before bath and bed tomorrow night and hope it works.

It makes me feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one going through this. It seems that all my friends have perfect sleepers; one friend boasts her DD sleeps 8-9. I have to resist the urge to smack her in her stupid lucky face!

[Krainy]

Hi there all, we had a 5.45am shout out and a 6am full wake so we did a proper session in the garden tonight for 35 minutes so hopefully that will do the trick to get us back on track. Have been a bit zombied today but there is a chance that was due to the extra glass of wine last night :o. So glad your HV was so helpful Shark, it sounds like a really good plan. Fingers crossed for everyone, off to do the tidying up now. Am feeling quite chipper today as DD seems to have twigged the potty training, hurray (she is the nearly 3 year old not the 11 month old!) x

[SharkSkinThing]

Waves at RalphGnu - hello! Glad to have you here, even if it is for a nightmare reason! And so sorry you have been crying - I truly, truly understand how upsetting and angry the situation can make you feel. But we're all here to support each other, and hopefully, very soon, this thread will have run its course.

As for other women who boast - betcha any money she has to do something random for it to happen. Like read her DD 50 million stories and bribe her with kit kats. Anyway, someone told me once that it's the brightest children who are the trickiest sleepers....though she may have spotted the murderous, sleep deprived look on my face and would say anything to make me feel better...

Krainy - way to go! Brilliant news! On both counts! Really, really want a bottle glass of wine but am saving it for when I know the 4am horror is behind us. In about 10 years.

[RalphGnu]

Waves back at SharkSkinThing. Morning everyone! Well, feeling lots better this morning, we were still up early (5:15) but I went to bed early last night so caught up on some sleep. No work tomorrow so DP has promised me a huge lie in and it always helps to have that to look forward to! Going to spend the day at the beach today (weather permitting) so DS will have lots of exercise and fresh sea air to tire him out!

Feeling so much more positive today, it's amazing what a decent night's sleep can do.

[MissHonkover]

Hello everyone. shark, thanks for posting all that all. It seems pretty much what we've been doing, and it has by and large improved things. She's still waking at 5, but either the outdoor time in the evening or the ignoring her and leaving her to it means she at least now goes back to sleep. This morning she went til 6.50.

It's absolutely heaping it down here today, so outdoor time may be a problem, but let's stick at it!

[SharkSkinThing]

Wow, even with the abysmal weather everyone seems a lot chirpier today. It seems that an earlier night combined with ignoring our children is the winning formula

Now, I am sure you are all on the edge of your seats to find out how I got on, so here we go.

4.40am: DS wakes up
5am: Babbling escalates, I go and change (dirty) nappy
5am - 5.15am: went in twice to pop dummy back in.
5.20: Crying escalates (not terrible, but enough for me)
5.20 - 6am: I lie on floor next to cot whilst DS does his thing, mainly throwing dummy out of cot. Won't be doing this again, it was just a slight wobble on my part!
6am - up, up, milk!

So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. If he sleeps longer/goes back down/if I have to go in and out 20 times then I will.

Raining here, too, lots of crawling around I think! xx

[MissHonkover]

Notice we're all seaside ladies? Wonder if there's a correlation between sea air and babies waking at the crack of frigging dawn early?

[SharkSkinThing]

V quick update as running out the door - progress!

Woke at 4.30am, in and out a bit still but much, much longer gaps - fell asleep at 5.50 - 6.30am!!!

I rule (until the next catastrophe)!

Hope everyone else ok today - and maybe, Miss, maybe the sea is the reason...xx

[SharkSkinThing]

Yes!!! Fucking yes! Went down at 7pm - slept until 5.30am, babbled very happily until 6am, when I got him up!

Ha ha ha!! I am delirious with victory!!! How long do you think it will last?

Anyone else winning the sleep war? x

[Momo36]

Shark thank you for posting all the points. Even though I have not been part of this thread, I have been following it, as I am having similar issues with my DD. My DP often picks DD up at all hours in the morning and I can't persuade him to leave DD - so now, I can tell him that a HV said so! Thanks and Good luck!!

[MissHonkover]

Get in!!!

Well done Shark, we too are having success. This morning was the first one where she didn't wake at 5 and then go back to sleep. This morning she slept til half six straight fucking through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Apologies to those of a delicate disposition for the language, but by Jove, things have improved. And that was without outdoor time before bed.

Good luck everyone else.

[SharkSkinThing]

MissHonkover - if I were there, I'd be giving a great big squeeze right now and opening the champagne. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to this feeling, I am over the moon. And, ha ha, I was RIGHT!

But, of course, mother nature is a bitch - DS would NOT have his afternoon nap at the usual time, and instead fell asleep in the pushchair from 2.30 - 3.15pm.

Anyone else experience this?

Momo - habits are so hard to break, but gently tell DP that he is not helping your DD, that's how I had to view it! Good luck. xx

[MissHonkover]

Well, early mummies, how are we all?

DD slept til 6.30 this morning, straight through with no squeaks or squawks. She nearly dozed off in the pushchair on the way to the childminder's, so she's still adjusting to not having two sleeps, but the improvement so far is fab.

Hope you're all seeing some sort of improvement!

[SharkSkinThing]

Oh Miss, how marvelous! Isn't it something when fortune swings back in our favour? Enjoy it whilst it lasts!

How does your DD enjoy the childminder? What age did she start, and how did you find it at first? DS starts with his end of July and I am not looking forward to it. My baby!

DS went through as well until 5.30am, again left in cot until 6am, quite happy he was, chattering away!!!

After a few days of his pm nap being late (think he's just been readjusting), I put him down at 12.45pm as usual and by 1pm he'd gone to sleep! He's also less interested in his morning and lunchtime milk (which I've now switched to a cup, seeing as he has water in a cup I figured it was time to move him along). I'll keep offering the morning one and of course he'll have a bedtime one, but think I'll ditch the lunchtime one.

Everyone else doing ok? Please post!! Ralph? Krainy?

[MissHonkover]

DD loves the childminder. We eased her in gradually, starting with leaving her just an hour at a time. There are other children there and it's really improved her confidence, she used to be quite highly strung.

It was a bit tough, the first few times we left her, because she did cry, but I stayed for a bit to settle her in, and the childminder is absolutely lovely so I had confidence she'd be happy once she'd got used to it. It's lovely when I pick her up and I can see her playing reallly happily with the other children.

The childminder had been recommended, which also made me feel better.

Yes, how are the rest of you doing?

[Krainy]

Hi there, I am so pleased Shark and Miss Honkover, things seemed to have improved so much for you, are you starting to feel like your old selves again, having a bit more sleep in the morning?
I have a virus on my computer so did not check in for a few days, so it is great to read about the progress. Interesting about the naps Shark, it seems to be that once one piece falls into place everything else follows.
I have had mixed results here, it seems to be alternating between 5.45am one day and 6.45am the next for the last 4 days, I really struggled on Saturday with the early wake and did not enjoy my day but then a lovely sleep extra hour of sleep on Sunday made for a great day. It really does seem to affect things. I am going to start a sleep diary to try to make this all more scientific. When I have an early wake I always wonder whether you are all up too!

[MissHonkover]

Morning Krainy! This morning DD was awake from half 5, she did doze off again twice but she's tired and grumpy. Yesterday was very bad for naps, I really do believe it has an effect. (Just contributing that for the research! )

[SharkSkinThing]

Krainy - hello! Sounds like things are still working themselves out for you, but it's great that your DD is doing some later wakings, if not every morning! A diary is a good idea, I always do that when I am trying to work DS out.

Do you think your DD may be in the process of dropping her morning nap? I'm only asking as DS slept from 7pm - 5.50am today. Joy! He also dodged his morning nap, so I gave him lunch at 11.30 and put him down for his nap at 12, and he slept until 1.30pm. Hopefully he's now dropped that nap and tomorrow I can push him until 12.30 before having a nap.

Not that I know a hoot about anything - hindsight is a wonderful thing, after all. When I look back over the last year, it seems so bloody obvious when things are changing with DS, and what should be done, but when you are in the thick of it, and exhausted, it's the hardest thing in the world to solve.

The naps and night time are connected, I am sure of it - though tbh I used to bust a gut getting DS to have his 3 good naps a day and it made no f'ing difference to him sleeping at night.

But I am in such a different place than last week, thank you, not only better rested (and almost sleeping through myself again!), but feeling more confident again.

Just in time for going back to work...

[sharon1980lfc]

hi guys! soooo glad ive found this thread! my ds is 11mts old, been a really gd sleeper until xmas wen she was poorly! started getting up way to early n was a nitemare waking every hr on the dot, hv gave me some advice, followed it, nxt morn she slept till 8am! so i thought woo hoo! stuck to the routine ridgidly ( r so i thought)
past two wks she been getting up bout 5.45am no matter how early r late she goes to bed! past two mornings 5.50am n a record of 5.15am this morn! wot is going wrong?? the bedroom is like the black hole, she eats well, she has one 2-21/2hr nap bout 10am ish in bed bout 6.45-7.15pm was in such a bad mood this morn, ust starting to snap out of it, confused

[sharon1980lfc]

yay!! did the outdoor thing b4 tea at 5pm, bath, half hr wind down n bed at 6.30 as she was up at 5.15am previous morn n dd slept till 6.45am this morn! not sure if it was an earlier bed time r outdoor time??
much better mood in the household this morn! :) will b doing exact same thing today as i did yest lol :O

[MissHonkover]

Well done Sharon!

We've found a huge improvement by sticking to the guidelines laid out by the HV further up the thread. Decide what time is morning in your house, and anytime DD wakes before then lie her back down and tell her it's night time. We find playing her music box then works, as it's what we do when we put her down at night.

[sharon1980lfc]

ahh will have a look at the previous thread miss honkover b4 the early waking dd was terrible for waking numerous times during the nite, hv thought seperation anxiety, so advised instead of me giving her last bottle downstairs n then bringing her up ( sometimes she fell asleep on her bottle) to do it in her room so she didnt wake up disorientated n out her down awake, yay it worked n she was sleeping in till btween 7.30-8.30am which has always been her norm, but something has went wrong n it was creeping into the 6am now the 5am,
the only thing i can think of which hasnt been happening as much was bringing her out in the pushchair for a walk b4 tea as weather been pants!
we been in garden all day today so fingers crossed! and she is ready to go to bed at half 6! :)